genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/mossywraith's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 19
female
internalised homophobia
took hormones
regrets transitioning
trauma
homosexual
benefited from non-affirming therapy
had religious background
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.

The user provides a consistent, detailed personal history of transition and detransition over several years. The writing style is emotionally varied (passionate, supportive, angry, vulnerable), which is consistent with a real person, especially one discussing a deeply personal and traumatic experience. The account does not exhibit the patterns of propaganda bots or trolls that typically spam generic, inflammatory rhetoric.

About me

I was born female, and my journey into identifying as a trans man at 16 was deeply tied to my mental health and past trauma. I fully embraced being a man for a few years, even starting testosterone, but I eventually realized it felt like a performance and my discomfort came from trauma and internalized homophobia, not from being born in the wrong body. Stopping hormones was difficult and left me with some permanent changes, but it started my real healing. Through therapy, I learned to understand my trauma and now I simply live as a human being, opting out of strict gender rules. I'm 22 now, happy in a relationship, and have found peace by reconnecting with my body through things like strength-training and art.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was complicated and deeply tied to my mental health and past trauma. I was born female, and from a young age, I struggled with a lot of things that made me uncomfortable in my own skin. I grew up poor and Black, and I also dealt with a lot of trauma from past abusive relationships. My mom’s church pushed harmful messages that made it hard to come to terms with being attracted to women. I think a lot of my feelings about my body and being a woman were shaped by these external factors, not by some innate sense of being born in the wrong body.

I first started identifying as a trans man when I was 16. For a while, it felt like the answer. It felt good to take charge of my appearance and my place in the world. At 18, I went to an informed consent clinic and started testosterone. I was on T for about a year, from age 18 to 19. I legally changed my name and my gender marker. I was deep in the community—I was an activist, I spoke at conferences, I worked on a transgender documentary, and I led meetings for my college's LGBT group. I was completely sure of myself.

But around 19, I started to realize I couldn't keep pretending to be someone I'm not. Trying to live as a man felt like a performance. I began to understand that my dysphoria wasn't biological. It was the result of my life experiences: the trauma, the internalized homophobia from my religious background, and struggling with my identity as a lesbian. The idea that I had a "male brain" started to feel like misogynistic pseudoscience. I decided to detransition.

Stopping testosterone was the start of a new journey. It was hard. My transition had been traumatizing in ways I don't always like to get into. I have some permanent changes, like a deeper voice and facial hair that I have to manage by shaving and plucking. My voice has gotten a bit higher over the last four years, but it’s still not what it was. I also have bottom growth that is permanent.

I don’t regret my journey because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret not understanding the root of my feelings sooner. I benefited immensely from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity, but about helping me understand my trauma and cope with my body. I learned that I have the power to just live as a human being, without declaring myself as any specific gender. I kept my chosen name, Jesse, because it feels more like me than my birth name ever did, and it’s a nice, gender-neutral name.

Now, I’m almost 22 and I’ve been detransitioned for about four years. I’m in a happy relationship with a straight man who loves me for me and isn’t phased by my past or my masculine qualities. I’ve found peace through things like strength-training, gardening, and art, which help me feel connected to my body. My thoughts on gender now are that it’s a social set of rules, and you can choose to opt out. You can just be yourself.

Age Event
16 Started identifying as a trans man.
18 Started testosterone (T).
19 Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning.
19-22 Lived as a detransitioned female.

Top Comments by /u/mossywraith:

16 comments • Posting since October 27, 2018
Reddit user mossywraith explains why asking "Should I transition?" on a detrans subreddit is offensive, detailing their personal detransition from testosterone and FTM identity due to trauma, social factors, homophobia, and the pseudoscience of "male brains," while condemning the dismissal of their community's lived experiences.
42 pointsJan 2, 2019
View on Reddit

How much of a douchebag do you have to be to come to a subreddit where people discuss moving away from detransition & the incorrect “facts” of gender ideology that contributed to us believing we need to transition just to ask “should I transition? 🤪 what are alternative treatments for gender dysphoria?” AND THEN to SHUT DOWN the response that isn’t what you’d expect trans people to tell you. For fucks sake, you “didn’t ask for a personal response”? DETRANSITIONING IS A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT IS DEMONIZED BY A LARGE AMOUNT OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU? Take that “no offence!” and shove it up your fucking ass.

Transitioning was a traumatic experience for the majority of us. And the reasons WHY they were traumatic to us require a fucking personal anecdote for us to tell you! Telling you about the sexism, homophobia, pseudoscience gender ideology relies on, and toxic masculinity that influence people to transition isn’t denying anything about what you experience. I feel like you didn’t even actually read what she told you.

I was on T from age 18-19, identified as a transman from age 16-19, and detransitioned at 19. My dysphoria was not biological. My dysphoria was the result of growing up with trauma, growing up black, growing up poor, growing up attracted to other women, growing up surrounded by harmful messages from my mom’s church.. so in other news, if you could read that one, fucking social factors. I wasn’t born with a “male brain” inside a “female body”. The idea that brains are sexed is misogynistic and not supported widely in medical science. You think you’re so big & tough with your “facts” we’ve certainly never heard 🙄 or researched. I think you should probably check your place and realize that a lot of us have BEEN trans rights activists, have gone to marches, have gone through trans healthcare clinics, have changed our legal names & gender markers. We’re not fucking imbeciles. If you cannot entertain a perspective different from your own that arises from stopping a harmful treatment you’re asking US if we think you should take, then you shouldn’t be here. Go talk to r/MTF if you want millions of people to jump for joy and beg you to transition 🙄 Seems like your mind is already made up anyway so stop wasting our time and energy.

Reddit user mossywraith explains to another user that they cannot dictate what she believes about her own transition and detransition experience, refusing to censor her views for their comfort.
30 pointsJan 2, 2019
View on Reddit

So sad that I can discuss every aspect that contributed both to my desire to transition & subsequent detransition just for you to continue to rely on this weird idea that every false fact you’ve ever learned is still true. You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t believe in as a result of my transition/detransition experience & education. I’m not going to censor myself and my views for your comfort. What a male thing to ask of me lol.

Reddit user mossywraith explains their extensive background in trans activism and education, arguing that detransitioners are often well-informed individuals sharing painful truths, not a hateful collective.
29 pointsJan 2, 2019
View on Reddit

Yes!! I went to a lot of trans-informative conferences and even spoke at one.. not to mention I also have worked on a transgender documentary, was part of my college’s LGBT group and lead meetings explicitly on trans-related topics, marched for TDOR in my city... I think it’s safe to say I know a lot about the “facts” gender ideologists push. Lots of people in this sub share similar educational/activist tracks, or at the very least are well-versed in trans education. It’s so condescending to treat us like we’re some kind of evil trans-hating collective, instead of people who are finally educated on the truth behind transition and have chosen to stop mistreating ourselves. It’s just so infuriating to think that we can share our painful experiences and get shut down because it’s not the easiest answer to hear.

Reddit user mossywraith (detrans female) explains how detransitioning is another form of taking control, allowing you to define your own relationship with your female body without conforming to societal rules of womanhood.
24 pointsNov 5, 2020
View on Reddit

transitioning (i was FtM identified from 15-19, on HRT for 14 months, changed my name legally and still have it changed bc I like my new name, identified as non-binary briefly, detransitioned at almost 20 and i’m almost 22 now) feels good because it often feels like the first real opportunity to take charge of your appearance and place in the world. it feels good because you get to live by a rule set you define! but the thing is that those facts remain true even if you decide to detransition. having a gender identity is just choosing to live by a gendered rule set. you have the power to just live as a human being. no one is forcing you or asking you to return to a life that’s uncomfortable to you; you can quit HRT and pronouns without “returning” to womanhood. You’ll be starting a new journey of self understanding & compassion. The key is to remember that you’re in control of your future; no one else is. You get to define what having a female body means to you, not the rest of the world.

Therapy helped me immensely come to terms with my trauma & body but other things like strength-training, cardio, sculpting, painting, gardening, etc. can be fun tasks that alleviate dysphoria and keep you feeling engaged & in tune with your body/the earth :+)

Reddit user mossywraith explains that many detransitioners were once very sure about their transition and happy with it, emphasizing that their journeys do not invalidate the trans experience.
23 pointsMar 8, 2019
View on Reddit

just wanted to say that a lot of us detransitioners here did make extra extra extra sure about our transition decisions and were even very happy with them until we realized detransitioning was the right move. i’m so happy that r/detrans can help trans people make sure they’re making the right choices, but just keep in mind that we once were really sure too and that doesn’t invalidate our journeys just as much as it doesn’t invalidate yours :+) glad to have you here!

Reddit user mossywraith explains their refusal to detail a traumatizing transition that caused serious health problems to a rude commenter.
21 pointsJan 2, 2019
View on Reddit

Lol i’m not going to detail every single aspect of my transition that caused serious health problems to a rude ass troll that won’t bother to actually listen. I said my transition was traumatizing, I don’t owe it to you to further explain why. You possess internet access - why don’t you use it to watch YouTube videos where people discuss that exact same thing ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Reddit user mossywraith comments on a post about gender confusion, accusing the OP of being a cis man and obvious troll, and telling them to go back to r/MTF.
17 pointsJan 2, 2019
View on Reddit

“Either I am a cis man or a trans woman.” “My male-appearance” you call yourself male... and by virtue of being AMAB you’ve been socialized as male. If you weren’t born male or socialized male you wouldn’t be questioning whether or not to transition into a woman. I’m so over your obvious trolling like you don’t know me lol. Go puke over in r/MTF where people will clean it up and pat your back - us detransitioners would just make you take a Tums lmao.

Reddit user mossywraith explains their detransition experience and calls out a commenter for harassing the r/detrans community, arguing that gender dysphoria can be influenced by other factors and that it's important to understand the root causes.
16 pointsJan 2, 2019
View on Reddit

People die because of gender critical theory... lol dude I was trans I changed my name & gender marker & was a trans activist for years I don’t hate trans people nor am I this evil person out to get you. I’m a detransitioner in r/detrans telling you to leave us alone because we’re trying to heal from transition and you’re treating us like shit for suggesting to you that gender dysphoria can be influenced by other factors and it’s important to learn what applies to you & how to cope with it. I can’t help you coddle your fucking butthurt feelings from random users in r/GenderCritical. Take it up with them.

And maybe if you’re being called a misogynist, stop to consider why that might be. Just a thought for your self-improvement. How dare I call you out on your own bullshit.

Reddit user mossywraith defends detransitioners' right to discuss their genuine experiences with gender dysphoria and medical transition, arguing that their perspectives are the point of the subreddit.
14 pointsJan 2, 2019
View on Reddit

I suffered from GD you can't speculate what I did and didn't feel. I still have dysphoria. I'm not an idiot. And my healthcare was not handled properly. But you don't know the details because you aren't me! I don't want to keep running in this circle where you accuse me of being transphobic/harmful or ridiculous or that I'm placing blame by discussing genuine experiences. You sound ridiculous by claiming we need some "perspectives on why people transition"... we were those people. Like. That's the whole fucking point we're here. If you don't want to listen to what detransitioners have to say, don't infiltrate our sub and get angry when you are faced with an answer you don't like. We can't fix your fragile self-esteem for you. I'm done arguing with a brick wall.

Reddit user mossywraith (detrans female) explains her detransition process, advising there's no rush or timeline and to present comfortably until ready to tell others.
12 pointsOct 17, 2022
View on Reddit

I think there’s honestly no going back, only moving forward. When I first realized I needed to detransition, I was also questioning how it could even be possible when I had exerted so much effort changing my name and gender marker and coming out to everyone around me. I just realized that there is no rush, or no timeline for the proper way to do this. Your time is your own and you’re allowed to express yourself & present however feels comfortable at any time. You don’t have to rush into telling people until you’re ready; in my case, I casually brought up changing my pronouns/gender identity again when relevant in conversations with friends, and then after months of getting comfortable being myself again outside of a male identity, I made a post for friends and family and then just let people ask me questions if they arose. I’ve been detransitioned for 4 years now and I promise it gets easier!