This story is from the comments by /u/mountain-flowers that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the extensive and highly personal comments from "mountain-flowers," this account appears authentic. There are no red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake account. The user shares detailed, nuanced, and emotionally raw experiences about their transition, detransition, and ongoing personal struggles, which align with the passionate and often painful perspectives of real detransitioners or desisters. The comments reflect a consistent, complex personal journey over time, including specific medical details, emotional processing, and evolving views on gender, which are not typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I started transitioning at 21 because I felt I didn't fit in as a straight girl and thought becoming male would fix my discomfort with my body. I lived as a man for over three years and had top surgery, which I initially loved. I eventually realized I missed womanhood and felt deep grief over losing my ability to breastfeed, which is my biggest regret. I stopped testosterone at 24 and have since embraced my femininity and my desire for a traditional life. I'm now engaged to a wonderful man and am finally at peace with myself as a woman.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really young. I always felt like I didn't fit in with other girls. I was a tomboy, and everyone just assumed I was a lesbian. I tried to convince myself I was into women, but deep down, I knew I wasn't. I felt too boyish for boys to like me and couldn't relate to how my straight friends talked about men. There was also a lot of pressure from my friends, who were mostly part of the LGBT community, to not be cishet. I felt like I couldn't just be a straight girl.
When I was 21, I decided to start transitioning. I began taking testosterone and about six months later, I had top surgery to remove my breasts. I had hated my large, saggy breasts since they developed early in puberty. I thought having a flat chest would make me happy, and for a while, it did. I lived as a trans man for over three years. During that time, I passed easily and enjoyed the changes to my body. But I never wanted to be a cis man; I just liked the way I looked with male secondary sex characteristics.
However, things started to change. I began to realize how much I missed womanhood and wanted to be seen as a woman again. A huge part of this was realizing how badly I wanted to be a mom and have a family. I had been sure from ages 10 to 20 that I never wanted kids, but that changed completely. I started to feel a deep grief that I would never be able to nurse my future babies because of my mastectomy. This is my biggest regret.
I also struggled with dating as a trans man. I got a lot of attention, but it was only for casual sex. No one wanted a serious, monogamous relationship with me, which is what I truly wanted. I felt isolated and started to see how insular and pressuring my trans social circle was. They celebrated transition and subversion but demonized traditional relationships and femininity.
I stopped testosterone cold turkey when I was 24. The first few months were really hard emotionally—I cried a lot and felt raw. But slowly, my body started to change back. My period returned, my body softened, and my curves came back. My voice is permanently deeper, but I've learned to speak in a softer, more feminine way. It took about a year for me to be consistently read as a woman again.
Detransitioning felt like coming up for air. I finally allowed myself to embrace my femininity and my desire for a traditional life as a wife and mother. I don't regret the experience entirely because it taught me so much about myself, but I deeply regret my top surgery because of the loss of function. I love how my flat chest looks, but I mourn the ability to lactate every day.
I've since found a wonderful, traditional man who loves me for who I am, and we're engaged. I'm happier and more at peace now than I've ever been. My relationship with my mom is better, and I feel like I'm finally her daughter after years of distance.
I think my transition was influenced by a lot of things: internalized fatphobia, an eating disorder, discomfort with puberty, and pressure from my social circle. I also think being on the autism spectrum made me feel alienated from other girls growing up. Exploring my feelings on psychedelics helped me gain clarity. Ultimately, I don't believe in innate gender identity; I think it's about how you fit into social constructs and your biological sex.
Here's a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 10 | Started feeling alienated from other girls, hated my developing breasts. |
| 14 | Everyone assumed I was a lesbian; tried to convince myself I was into women. |
| 21 | Started testosterone. |
| 21 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 24 | Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning. |
| 25 | Consistently read as female again; started seriously dating. |
| 26 | Engaged to my boyfriend. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/mountain-flowers:
I used to see people mention getting hormones through this website on /asktransgender and it always just seemed so creepy and unsafe. I was surprised how many people used it, and how MANY people defended it even if it wasn't their method. I'm not saying informed consent at planned parenthood is great, but at least my doctor checked my vitals, did bloodwork, did a psych eval, explained the affects of T, and answered my questions. And I had to come back a month later to have everything rechecked.
From what I rememeber, this service is also pretty expensive and doesn't take insurance.... :/ seems really predatory
"hey guys, by the way I'm going by she/her and [name], I'm glad I explored but I see myself as a woman now" or something like that.
But also like... it is not shameful to be, or admit you were, wrong. And it is NOT shameful to want attention!!!
Attention is a real need. It's ok to have wanted attention. Or to have had issues you needed to work through and to do so through exploring your relationship to gender. It's ok to meander as you find yourself. You're 14 and.. I promise you're not going to have a perfectly linear path forward from here on out either! And that's ok!
While I hate porn and kink culture and won't defend these places as healthy, I will say that this was one of the first ways I was able to explore detransition and re-accelting my womanhood.
Living as ftm, I ahways took the feminine role in bed, and beyond that wanted a very traditionally feminine role in a relationship - to nurture, to sooth to stay home with kids, to HAVE kids, etc
Surrounded by aggressively pro-trans hyper-progressive woke culture, I felt guilt and shame considering that I might have made a mistake transitioning. Those same voices said 'kink and sex is seperate from everything else' so I felt free to explore 'being a woman in bed'
Furthermore, the 'forced' element eliminates agency and therefore guilt. I wanted a man to force me to detransition, so I wouldn't have to take an action I wanted but felt bad about
yeah for real, internet porn is really damaging in so many ways and imo 100% related to the huge spike in transitioning
for a number of reasons - not just the fetishistic understanding of womanhood and lesbianism but also like... idk in my case I was just so disconnected from my body and sexuality and from others and it... made it seem like ~no big deal~ to, well, cut up my body
I'm curious what was your reasoning to ask something with this tone on a vent post? Op is lamenting a traumatic mistake as a teenager, she was taken advantage of by a doctor either lacked empathy or perspective or both.
As do you - either your reply is callous and blames op for something that was taken from her as a child when she was too young to understand the ramifications, the future, or to stand up for herself. Or your reply is genuine and you really think teenagers can consent to transition and doctors never push it...
For the record, I was an adult when I had a mastectomy. I had agency, and to a large degree take accountability, it was my choice. My reasoning, gone from me now, does not really have any bearing on my grief
Yeah, I basically realized the trans community, at least as I knew it, was toxic and that I had to leave it, but didn't think that meant I'd detransition. I reasoned - oh, I still like this masculanized body, right? I just need to get away from these people who demonize my relationship to men, my values, my desire for a family, etc.
But then as soon as I got away from those people / that community / those pressures, I detransitioned 😅
After leaving my very trans social circle to travel, I started to realize how insular it was. At first it surprised me when I started questioning basically everything about gender ideology (despite knowing a lot of things never sat right with me and knowing I was trying to will myself to feel things I didn't the whole time) but the more time I spent away and alone, the more I realized how cultlike it was
Then when I returned to that area and saw a lot of old friends, it became clear how I was "out" now that I was no longer trans (without even talking about my changed views on gender)
I think for me it's two things (that certainly play into eachother)
not feeling like you fit in to heterosexuality. I'd been labeled a lesbian my whole life (typical tomboy kid), felt too boyish for boys to like me, didn't feel I could relate to how straight girls talked about men, etc. And while for years I assumed this meant I was a lesbian / bi.... in the end I was just trying to convince myself I was into women in a way I was not. So the idea of being with a man without the pressure of "getting womanhood right" was very alluring!
pressure from peers and social bubbles to not be cishet. Obviously a lot of the lgbt world can be very accepting and open but... there can also be a lot of judgement. As a tween most of my friends were gay if not trans, and I definitely felt like... ya know like I "couldn't" be a straight girl
I'm not saying it's never fetishistic, just that there's a lot at play and a lot I empathize with
Hmm, while I agree w this to an extent (it's seriously fucked how invasive the whole world is over our breasts) I.. Have my disagreements w the tone and w the framework that our body is solely ours in any way.
That logic, that my body should exist only for me, was actually a huge factor in me mutilating it. I was told that social validation and the make gaze were toxic, that any positive feelings I got about my body, especially sexed body parts, wasnt real positivity, and that my body was mine alone to do whatever I want with.
My breasts didn't make me feel good if I factored out men's attraction and their ability to feed a baby. They were sweaty and heavy and made me feel gross. I had negative social experiences too, of course, which factored in. Developing young, as an awkward girl, being bullied by other girls, internalized fat phobia, etc etc. But by adulthood, their attractiveness and symbolism of femininity and fertility outwayed all of that! Until I was convinced that those were "bad reasons" and made me a "bad woman"
In a bubble, I like my flat chest just fine. But ya know what? I miss having them for a man to enjoy, and MOURN that I will never be able to feed my babies. I made a selfish decision that took away something my (hypothetical) baby is, yes, ENTITLED to.
But like I do very much agree that the way people act like breasts, especially when we're young (wtf!!!) are public spectacle is deeply fucked up.
Talking about your own experience isn't telling anyone what to do.
I recently found myself working with someone - a few years younger than me, socially nonbinary (not on hormones) and, though I only found this out after I'd already talked about my detransition and grief over my mastectomy at least once or twice with / around them, they were considering surgery.
They said it was actually really helpful to hear my perspective, and that they still planned to get surgery but that i'd given them new angles to think about things from.
We were always on good terms, we'd hang out socially, like we considered eachother friends despite me being very open about my detransition.
I'm not saying all trans people will be as understanding and welcoming - my point is just that it's worth a conversation. And frankly if you, basically a stranger, detransitioning is enough to make his confidence in surgerical transition crumble... he probably should wait and think longer anyway?