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Reddit user /u/muaddict071537's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17 -> Detransitioned: 20
female
low self-esteem
porn problem
hated breasts
regrets transitioning
trauma
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
became religious
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
only transitioned socially
autistic
had religious background
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The user shares a consistent, multi-faceted personal narrative involving mental health struggles, trauma, religious faith, and a detailed critique of gender ideology that aligns with known desister/detransitioner perspectives. The language is personal, emotionally varied, and shows development over time.

About me

I was a deeply troubled teenager who started self-harming and was in and out of mental hospitals, where professionals blamed my pain on being a girl instead of my father's horrific abuse. My feeling of being trans was a trauma response, a desperate belief that if I were a boy, he would finally love me and the abuse would stop. Online friends and communities reinforced this, praising my transition and making it feel like a cult, and I later realized my autism made normal puberty changes feel unbearable. After cutting off my father, I began to heal and understand the problem wasn't that I was a woman, but the abuse I suffered for being one. Now, I've found peace in my faith and am finally learning to accept myself as the woman I was meant to be.

My detransition story

My journey started with a lot of pain. I was in and out of mental hospitals because I was self-harming and had a problem with alcohol. The professionals there never tried to figure out why I was really hurting. Instead, they just told me my family was transphobic and that my issues were because I was a man trapped in a woman's body. It was an easy answer that ignored the real problems.

Looking back, I now know that my feeling of being trans was caused by deep trauma. My father was horribly abusive to me—physically, emotionally, and sexually. He made it very clear he was unhappy I was a girl and that he had wanted a son. I think, deep down, I started to believe that if I were a boy, the abuse would stop and he would finally love me. I hated my body because he hated it. I thought being a man was the solution, a way to escape the pain and finally be enough for someone.

I was also diagnosed with autism a couple of years after I stopped identifying as trans. I have a theory about that. I think my autism made puberty incredibly hard to handle because I hate change, and puberty is nothing but change. That discomfort got mixed up with my trauma and was mistaken for gender dysphoria. It wasn't that I was born in the wrong body; I was just a traumatized, autistic girl who was struggling to cope.

My online friends and the communities I was in at the time reinforced this idea. They told me that my depression and self-hatred were signs I was trans. I got so much praise and attention for transitioning that it felt good, even if it wasn't right. It’s messed up to admit, but I miss that validation sometimes. Those spaces felt like a cult; when I left, I was completely shunned. They even kicked me out of LGBT groups for talking about detransitioning.

I never had any surgeries or took hormones. I only transitioned socially, but that was enough to make me feel like I lost a huge chunk of my life to pretending to be someone I'm not. I’ll never get that time back, and that hurts.

Working through my trauma was what finally helped me. I cut off all contact with my father and started to heal. I realized the problem wasn't that I was a woman; the problem was the abuse I suffered for being one. It was like I had been trying to put a bandaid on a gunshot wound. Letting go of the trans identity was like finally taking the bandaid off and dealing with the real injury underneath.

My faith played a huge part in my healing too. I'm a practicing Catholic, and returning to the Church helped me see that God doesn't make mistakes. He created me as a woman, and that is how I was meant to be. I also struggled with pornography, and while I’m still trying to quit, my faith gives me strength.

I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to where I am now, but I deeply regret that I was ever led down that path for the wrong reasons. I’m happy that I’m no longer pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m finally learning that there is nothing wrong with being a woman.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
13 Started experiencing precocious puberty; was put on puberty blockers for a medical reason, not for gender.
15 Began to experience severe depression, self-harm, and alcohol abuse.
16 Was in mental hospitals where staff affirmed a transgender identity instead of addressing my trauma.
17 Socially transitioned to male, influenced by online communities and friends.
18 Began to distance myself from trans-identifying friends and started questioning.
19 Went no-contact with my abusive father. This was the start of my real healing.
20 Realized my 'dysphoria' was rooted in trauma and autism, not my sex. Stopped identifying as trans.
21 Was formally diagnosed with autism, which helped me understand my experience with puberty.
22 Found strength and peace in returning to my Catholic faith.

Top Comments by /u/muaddict071537:

17 comments • Posting since October 5, 2022
Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) comments on the hypocrisy of allowing minors to medically transition, comparing it to age restrictions on tattoos and criticizing doctors for failing to protect children from permanent consequences.
66 pointsNov 18, 2022
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If someone isn’t old enough to get a tattoo, why are they be old enough to permanently alter their body?

Most minors also don’t look into the side effects on their own and completely ignore them. Like they’re so focused on the carrot being dangled in front of their face that they don’t see the cliff right in front of them. It’s totally on the doctors to make the decisions that are best for the child, and they aren’t.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) explains their theory that autistic people's discomfort with puberty-related change is often mistaken for gender dysphoria.
49 pointsDec 25, 2023
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Yeah I’ve noticed it. I was diagnosed with autism 2 years after I desisted.

I have my own theory for why this is. It doesn’t apply to every case, but I think it applies to a lot of them. Autistic people tend to really hate change. Puberty brings a lot of changes. So autistic people might tend to be more distraught over puberty because they’re distraught over the change, but this extra discomfort during puberty in autistic people may get misunderstood as gender dysphoria and discomfort with one’s sex. It’s just my own theory. I thought I was trans partly because I was really distraught over the changes brought on by puberty, and looking back, I realize I was distraught because I’m autistic and really can’t handle change, not because I was uncomfortable with my sex.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) explains why women may be more likely to detransition, citing factors like higher rates of CSA, body dysmorphia, social pressure, and the desire to escape sexism, and discusses the greater media spotlight on FtMtF detransitioners due to the more irreversible effects of testosterone.
39 pointsNov 17, 2022
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Just my personal opinion. Women are more likely to be victims of CSA, and that has been tied to identifying as transgender. Women also suffer from higher levels of body dysmorphia. Women also feel more of a pressure to go with the crowd, so if all their peers are transitioning, they might feel like they have to as well. I think the remaining women get so roped up in the “not like other girls” movement that they don’t want to be girls at all in a bid to be different. Women also may feel that they wouldn’t experience sexism anymore if they were a man. All of that makes women more likely to transition in the first place without having actual gender dysphoria. Since women are more likely to do that, it’s logical that they’re more likely to later regret it and detransition.

I also think FtMtFs get more of a spotlight because the effects of testosterone are more irreversible than the effects of estrogen. Not saying that estrogen won’t affect the body of someone that’s MtFtM, but it’s not as irreversible as testosterone. FtMtFs are able to be more of a poster child of “look how horrible it is for what they’re doing to their bodies!” MtFtMs also have fewer opportunities for surgeries as minors than FtMtFs, who can get nearly all surgeries before they’re 18.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) discusses feeling excluded from the lesbian community after her friends identified as non-binary, encouraged her to transition, and dismissed her discomfort with biological men due to past trauma.
33 pointsDec 19, 2022
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I’m a teen, and I’ve never gotten to experience that sense of community with other queer women. I had a group of gay friends once, and we were all biological women. But they all started identifying as non-binary and stuff and encouraging me to transition. And then started inviting biological men into the group. They got upset with me when I said I was uncomfortable around these men due to sexual trauma. Apparently feminism is out the window now, and I can’t express how I experienced trauma at the hands of “trans women” (would get catcalled in the bathrooms and stuff) because it made them uncomfortable. So much for the “me too” movement. I’m sick of it.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) explains how escaping an abusive father and processing trauma led them to realize their transgender identity was a coping mechanism, not their true self.
24 pointsDec 4, 2023
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I got out of a very abusive situation. My father was very abusive towards me (physically, emotionally, and sexually). He made me hate my body. I went no contact with him, and in working through my trauma, I realized that my trauma was the cause of me being trans and not actually the way that I was born. I realized I didn’t hate that I was a woman; I hated that he hated it. And subconsciously, I wanted to be a guy because I thought it would make him love me. He always made it very clear that he was unhappy I was a girl. I also thought that the sexual abuse wouldn’t have happened if I was a guy. I wasn’t really trans; I was just traumatized. I thought being trans was the reason I was depressed and my mental health sucked and I hated my body (mostly because trans friends of mine told me that those things meant I was trans). It was an easy answer, where I didn’t have to do anything to work through everything that happened. But my trauma was the real reason, and I was trying to stick a bandaid on a gunshot wound.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) comments on being a bisexual person who feels alienated from the LGBT community for discussing desisting and opposing medical treatments for minors.
21 pointsDec 2, 2022
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Idk I’m still bi, so I’m associated with them whether I like it or not.

I will say that I don’t like how heavily they deal with all the trans stuff, like hormones for minors and stuff like that. I also have gotten kicked out of LGBT spaces for talking about desisting. Kind of annoying.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) explains that gender dysphoria can stem from autism or childhood abuse, advising therapy to identify and treat underlying causes.
17 pointsOct 6, 2022
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There could be other reasons for the dysphoria. For some people, it can be due to autism or abuse from childhood. I would seek therapy maybe not specifically for gender dysphoria but to see if any underlying causes can be identified and treated. I know that for me, once the underlying cause of my dysphoria was treated, it went away. That would be my advice.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) comments on finding healing from transgender identity through returning to the Catholic Church and discusses the shared struggle of quitting pornography.
13 pointsJan 1, 2023
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Welcome to the Church! I’m a cradle Catholic but strayed from the Church when I identified as transgender. Definitely have that same experience of Jesus and the Church healing me.

Congratulations on quitting pornography too! I’m still trying to quit, but maybe I’ll be more successful in the New Year.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) explains how trans spaces gave them damaging messaging about being a woman and that they miss the praise and attention they received while identifying as trans.
12 pointsNov 18, 2022
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Yeah that is true. Being in those trans spaces messed me up in a way I don’t really know how to describe. I don’t miss identifying as trans, but I miss all the praise and attention I got from my peers for it. And I’m still having to work through that I wasn’t born in the wrong body and that there isn’t anything wrong with being a woman. Because that was kind of drilled into my head by the trans activists.

Reddit user muaddict071537 (desisted) explains their religious perspective on detransition, advising that God doesn't make mistakes and to distance from influences that encouraged transition.
10 pointsDec 1, 2022
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I’m the same age as you, used to be FTM. I’m not Muslim, but I’m very religious. I won’t speak from an Islamic perspective on anything since I’m not Muslim, but I will speak on a general religious perspective. God doesn’t make mistakes. God created you exactly how He wanted you to be. People make mistakes, but God is so forgiving and willing to welcome you back to Him.

I would also say to distance yourself from the things that made you think you were trans. Whenever I get in contact with my friends that pushed me in that direction, I feel myself going back to it. Whatever it was that pushed you in that direction, try to stay away from it.

I would also like to say that my DMs are always open for you to come and talk. It seems we’re in very similar situations and could relate to each other.