This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this user account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The comments exhibit:
- Personal, nuanced experience: The user shares specific, non-clinical details of their desistance (e.g., connection to the film Trainspotting, changing hair and clothing styles) that are consistent with a genuine personal journey.
- Emotional depth and vulnerability: The writing shows a range of authentic emotions, including fear, self-reflection, relief, and passion for the subject matter.
- Human inconsistency: The user admits to being drunk during one exchange and acknowledges the limits of their knowledge, which is not typical bot behavior.
- Engaged conversation: The comments are direct replies to others, building on a conversation in a coherent and context-aware way.
The user identifies as a female desister who never medically transitioned, and their writing is consistent with that lived experience.
About me
I started socially transitioning as a teenager because I hated the idea of growing up to be a woman and wanted to escape being seen as a sexual object. My journey was really about self-destruction and trying to erase myself instead of dealing with my depression and low self-esteem. Deciding to detransition felt like finally waking up from a bad dream and removing a huge weight I didn't even know I was carrying. I stopped using the different name, grew my hair out, and slowly started wearing feminine clothes again. Now, I'm learning to accept myself as a woman and understand that my biggest enemy was my own negative self-image.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started from a place of just not feeling right in my own skin, especially when I was a teenager. I never took any hormones or had any surgeries, thank god, but I did socially transition for a while. I cut my hair really short and started using a different name. I think a lot of it for me was about escapism and self-destruction. I was caught up in this cycle of self-obsession, trying to erase who I was to create someone completely new. It felt like I was in a permanent state of dissociation, just not really present in my own life.
Looking back, I think a huge part of it was that I hated the idea of growing up to be a woman, specifically the sexual role that comes with it. I saw how women are portrayed and sexualised from such a young age and I wanted no part in it. I think I was trying to escape that. I had a lot of discomfort with my body during puberty, I hated my breasts and just wanted to be seen as something else, anything else. It was less about wanting to be a man and more about not wanting to be a sexual object.
My self-esteem was really low and I struggled with depression and anxiety. I felt like being trans was a way to fix that, but it just became another burden. It was like a weight hanging over me 24/7 that I wasn't even fully aware of until I stepped away from it. For me, detransitioning was like waking up. It was freeing to finally exist without that constant pressure to be someone I wasn't.
I don’t really have any regrets about my transition because I didn’t do anything medical, but I do regret the time I lost and the mental energy I poured into it. I think my thoughts on gender now are that it's complicated, and a lot of people, especially young girls, are trying to escape the problems that come with being female in this society rather than actually being a different gender.
I benefited from just... stopping. From deciding to not stick my head in the sand anymore and dealing with my issues instead of trying to run from them. I started wearing more feminine clothes again, just simple things like turtlenecks, and I grew my hair out a bit and got a fringe. I started using mascara and lip gloss and went back to my old name. At first, it felt like I was playing pretend, but that feeling faded. I realised that my biggest enemy was my own self-image; I had trained myself to only see the masculine features in my face, but to everyone else, I just looked like an androgynous girl.
Here’s a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14-17 | Experienced intense puberty discomfort, hated developing breasts, and felt general depression and anxiety. |
| 17 | Socially transitioned, cut hair short, and started using a different name. |
| 19 | Realised I was in a cycle of self-destruction and decided to detransition. Stopped using the chosen name and started presenting more femininely again. |
Top Comments by /u/mullebob:
If you feel like you're on a sinking ship, please don't stay there for the fear of rejection from family and friends. You are not stupid or naive or whatever else you might feel because you did these choices then, but the past is the past and all you can do is move forward from the position you're in now. The choice really really isn't to stick your head deeper in the sand so you don't have to deal with it, for a lot of us that's what got us here in the first place.
Sending lots of love, but I do truly believe you'll make it through this as a lot of us have ♥️♥️♥️
I don't know anything for sure and haven't read any studies so take it with a grain of salt, this is just me theorising.
But sexuality in media and how it's presented to men and women from a young age differs a lot. Women are more often sexualised than men, almost always inhabit a more submissive role and are way often more passive than active in sex, at least thats how it's most commonly portrayed. I would also say that this leads women into feeling like they have a lot less agency over their sexuality than men do. And this does lead to men very often objectifying women for themselves and their own gain, women CAN for sure objectify men but it's not normalised to the same level at all. It's very common for young girls to transition to escape the sexual role of womanhood, that means they don't want to become a sexual object but in a male form instead, while men more often transition to be allowed to inhabit a more sexual role than they've been allowed.
The problems men and women face under patriarchy often look very different, and so their reasoning for transitioning would also look very different. Hope this gives some clarity on the question, idk how well I phrased it all but hopefully my point came across
I was in a similar position this summer, 19F, never took any hormones, had quite short hair. I just cut my hair so it was more feminine, got a fringe and did what I could with the length of it. Started wearing tighter shirts, not even crop tops or anything just turtlenecks and that type of stuff, started wearing mascara and some light lip gloss and went back to my old name.
All of this ofc did have its part of it but if I'm honest with you, you most probably look like a girl but have trained yourself to look for all the masculine features you got. I did the same and for the first weeks it felt like I was playing pretend but without hormones most people don't pass to the average person they meet. I was also quite masculine looking naturally but that doesn't mean very much if you still never took any hormones.
Right now your biggest enemy in looking feminine is your own self image and how you've trained yourself to see your face and what features to highlight. If you change your name and keep growing your hair you won't need much more for everyone around you to see you as a girl.
(btw, there is no way on earth anyone would read you as a trans woman, an androgynous looking teenage girl and a trans woman look miles and miles apart, I promise you it's all in your head)
That is very true and it does happen for sure and affect men and boys in real life very often, still though my point stands that the way male vs female sexuality is portrayed in media and to children from a young age differs a lot and therefore impacts what each gender internalise about themselves. Of course this isn't something that affects all women or men the same way but it is a fundamental difference in how sexuality, especially interpersonal, develops in male and females from a young age and the lens at which they look though themselves as sexual beings.
And to reiterate, women sexualise men all the time and it does have averse effects on young men, but men are exposed to this at older ages than girls are and because of that I don't believe it's as internalised as it in in women (and men, because I would say both men and women look at females sexually almost to the same degree, but ofc they have different roles within that worldview)
That's so interesting, I totally get what you mean, even though I never did anything medical (thank god!) I get the feeling of chasing the dragon and being so caught up in yourself and your self obsession (that's what I would call it for myself at least), I feel like the past few months I've awakened from a permanent state of dissociation and self destruction and it's so freeing to exist without having the burden of it hanging over me 24/7 and not even being aware of it when it was going on. Trainspotting meant so so much to me then and I do believe it was because I was in a constant cycle of self destruction, which for me was an inherent part of being trans, and erasing myself to create someone in the image of what and how I'd like to exist. Tbh I'm kinda scared to rewatch it now because what if it's gone and I lost it (it being my long term very intense connection to trainspotting and Renton) but it does feel very nice to hear you have connected to it since detransitioning.
This became a whole ass essay my bad, just think I needed to write this down to realise it better
I would say that's the same reason people don't really care about racism against white people, yeah it happens for sure, and it can absolutely make individuals feel bad and have averse effects on the people involved and even society at large, but it's not taken as seriously because at this point where we are, with what history we've come from, one of them perpeuates harmful history to opressed groups while the other doesn't.
There are for sure young girls, lesbian and straight, that are very much into the thoughts of gay sex and tbh I hadn't consider them when I wrote my first comment, but I do believe what I said still applies and I won't mention them or take them into account as I haven't properly considered what I think of it.
That's so interesting, trainspotting has been absolutely massive for me the past few years but I never connected it to desisting, now that I think of it I actually haven't watched it since because it was only a few months ago I actually took the step to do it, what does it mean for you if you don't mind me asking?
Okay yeah fair enough, to clarify
I happen to be drunk tonight, it's a Friday night and I got other stuff going on, take most of what I say with a fat grain of salt.
I'm not here to validate you? You asked a question about our beliefs? I believe females sexualsing males does not have the same effect as males sexulising females, both cases being to their face. I believe women internalise their sexualisation at a way younger age and that has a way averse affect, I think males getting hit in the face with it when they're teenagers does not have the same impact on them as women that internalise that shit since they've been toddlers. I do care about boys being sexualised I think it's wrong as I think any person being objecified is wrong, but your question was about the equivant of autogynephilia in women, I think that very well could occur in some cases though I didn't mention anything about that in any of my previous comments