This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's perspective is consistent, detailed, and emotionally resonant with the experiences of a passionate desister. They express personal growth, professional concerns as a therapist, and nuanced critiques of gender ideology that reflect a deeply held, lived perspective rather than scripted talking points. The language is natural and complex, showing genuine engagement with the topic.
About me
I started as a deeply unhappy teenager who hated the changes of my female puberty. Online communities convinced me my discomfort meant I was a man and that transition was the answer. I chased that solution for years, only to realize my anxiety was from self-loathing, not gender. I had to learn radical self-acceptance to make peace with the body I was given. Now, as a therapist, I'm concerned by the rush to affirm without exploring deeper issues like trauma or depression.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started from a place of deep unhappiness. I never felt like I fit in, especially as a teenager. Looking back, I can see now that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with depression, anxiety, and a general hatred for my body that probably had more to do with puberty than anything else. I didn't have the words for it then, but I was deeply uncomfortable with the changes happening to me, particularly developing breasts. I think I just wanted to escape from myself.
I found communities online that gave me a new language and a new identity. They told me that my discomfort was because I was born in the wrong body, that I was actually a man, or maybe non-binary. It felt like a revelation at the time. It gave me a clear enemy—my own female body—and a clear solution: transition. I started socially transitioning, changing my name and pronouns. I became a real advocate for it, believing it was the only path to happiness.
But that happiness was always fleeting. The "gender euphoria" was like a drug, and I was always chasing the next hit. It never lasted. What finally changed for me was realizing that my anxiety wasn't about gender at all. It was a deeper, existential self-loathing. I had to learn radical self-acceptance. I had to learn to have gratitude for the body I was given and practice self-compassion. I came to see gender ideology as a trap. It sold me a solution that only masked my real problems.
I look back now and feel a lot of resentment towards the trans community I was once a part of. I felt conned, like I was brainwashed and pressured into it. The language used in those spaces is very specific, almost like a cult. You have to learn a whole new glossary of terms, and the meaning of normal words gets changed. It was a relief to finally step away from all that noise.
Now, as someone who works in therapy, I see the same patterns happening to others. I'm deeply concerned about the ideological capture of mental health. There's such a rush to affirm without any investigation into other issues a person might have, like trauma or other mental health conditions. It feels like a medical scandal is looming, and I feel muzzled because if I even suggest a client explore their feelings beyond immediate affirmation, I could lose my job. I regret that I ever promoted this way of thinking. My biggest regret is not addressing the root causes of my pain—the low self-esteem and depression—instead of blaming my body.
I don't identify as trans anymore. I'm a woman who went down a wrong path because I was vulnerable and was given a seductive but false answer. I'm trying to make peace with that now.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with my body and puberty, hated developing breasts. |
| 16 | Found online trans communities and began to socially transition, identifying as non-binary/man. |
| 18-22 | Was a strong advocate for transition, believing it was the solution to my unhappiness. |
| 24 | Realized my anxiety was not related to gender; began practicing self-acceptance and detransitioned socially. |
| Present (exact age not given) | Working as a therapist, concerned about the lack of oversight in gender care and helping others with similar struggles. |
Top Comments by /u/murderouspangolin:
You said it in your last paragraph. If want to start over as a woman then that's exactly what you should do. This is a good opportunity to patch up things with your mother. Don't let pride get in the way. The "communities" you are part of are usually fair-weather friends - they will only stand up for you when you are towing the party line. Good luck OP.
Doesn't it make sense that some detransitioners may be carrying resentments against the trans community at large, especially if they felt conned/brainwashed/pressured by members of this group into making irreversible changes to their bodies? If you think being anti trans ideology is "overwhelmingly disgusting" maybe try see it from their point of view?
Good point re the language side of things. One of the most defining characteristics of a cult is the creation and use of terms and language specific to this group and its ideology. New terms appear, the meaning of present words are changed and the glossary grows by the day. It's such a relief to not be exposed to it any more.
Try and focus on other parts of your life that you can actually change for the better. The chase of gender euphoria is a pointless exercise. It has been sold to us as a path to happiness. What changed for me was realizing my existential anxiety had actually nothing to do with my gender. I had to combat self loathing and employ radical self acceptance, gratitude for the body and gender I was given and loads of self compassion. Gender ideology is a trap that is causing so much damage imo.
I am a past trans advocate, desister and now a therapist myself. I work in this space indirectly, I now have clients that are questioning their gender identity. I wish there was more I could do - in my country I will be labeled and probably struck off if I even invite a client to investigate their chosen gender identity. I feel like I am muzzled by a governing body that has fallen line and sinker for this madness.
I am very concerned about ideological capture of this space - the rush to affirm, the negation of contributing and/comorbidities and the erosion of real oversight and the lack of concern around safety and future harms. I can see a medical scandal akin to or worse than the thalidomide scandal is looming. This must change.
This is hogswallop. Trans proponents always cite the very few historical examples of gender bending yet take them completely out of their cultural context. Joan of Arc was not trans. She took on male dress so she could take on a military and leadership role that women was not accessible to women at that time. The Hijra were a grouping of eunuchs and transvestites that cross dressed and had a defined and accepted social role not unlike the the fa'afine in Samoa. Both groups are understood in their own cultures as men impersonating women. They never "transitioned" in any physiological way and don't see themselves as actual women.