This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona.
The comments display a consistent, personal narrative of desisting after identifying as non-binary, with plausible introspection about autism, social confusion, and teenage development. The advice given is nuanced, empathetic, and spans a timeline of over a year, which is atypical for inauthentic accounts. The passion and focus on harm prevention align with the expected perspective of a desister.
About me
I never felt like I fit in with other girls, and my discomfort with puberty led me to believe I was non-binary as a teenager. I almost pursued hormones and surgery, but I'm so grateful now that I didn't go through with any permanent changes. I've realized a lot of my struggle was just being a teenager and not understanding myself yet. I slowly stopped identifying that way, and now I'm comfortable living as a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypes. My entire journey taught me that I just needed time to grow into myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I never felt like I fit in with the other girls. My interests were different, and the way people treated me was different. I felt weird and out of place, and that feeling got so much worse during puberty. My body was changing in ways that felt deeply uncomfortable and wrong, and I just didn't understand why.
Around that time, I discovered the concept of being non-binary online. It felt like an answer. I wasn't a boy, but I knew I didn't feel like the girls around me either. This new identity gave me a name for my confusion and a community that welcomed me. For the first time, I felt like I belonged somewhere. People were nice to me and I wasn't the odd one out anymore; we were all "weird" together in a good way. This feeling was so strong and real that I seriously considered medical transition. I thought about getting a mastectomy and taking hormones to finally feel right in my body.
I'm so incredibly grateful now that I never went through with any permanent changes. I've since realized that a huge part of my struggle was just being a teenager. At 15, and even at 18, you are still swimming in a sea of hormones and confusion. Your brain isn't fully developed, and you're trying to figure out who you are. For me, that confusion mixed with a deep discomfort with puberty and a lifelong feeling of being different made me believe I was trans. I now highly suspect I am autistic, which explains a lot about why I never felt I fit into the standard social boxes for girls.
Looking back, I see that I didn't need to change my body; I needed time to understand myself. I'm not sure if non-binary is a real category or if I'm just a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypes, and I've made peace with not knowing. I've decided that my identity doesn't have to be a complicated puzzle I need to solve. I can just be me. I can wear whatever clothes I want, have my hair how I like, and enjoy my interests—like my amazing book about cheese—without needing a specific label.
My detransition, or more accurately, my desistance, was a slow process of self-acceptance. It started with letting my hair grow out. Then I bought one or two feminine clothing items, slowly changing my wardrobe over time. It felt awkward and anxious at first, especially telling my mom, but she was just happy that I was happy. Now, a few years later, it all feels completely normal. That entire period of my life feels like a phase that taught me important things about myself.
I don't regret exploring my identity, but I deeply regret how close I came to making permanent decisions based on a temporary feeling. I strongly believe that young people need to be allowed to explore who they are in a safe way that doesn't involve irreversible medical procedures. You need to wait for the teenage turmoil to settle. Your brain isn't finished developing until you're around 25, and such life-altering decisions should wait until then. I benefited immensely from just giving myself time and space to grow into myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Intense puberty discomfort and social confusion led me to believe I was trans/non-binary. Considered hormones and top surgery. |
| 18 | Still identified as non-binary but began to seriously advise others to wait until their mid-20s before making permanent medical decisions. |
| 21 | Began to desist by letting my hair grow and slowly introducing feminine clothing back into my wardrobe. |
| 22 | Fully accepted that my trans identity was a phase. My entire wardrobe is now feminine and I feel comfortable living as a woman. |
| Now (24) | I see my past identity as a learning phase. I am at peace with being a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypes and am focused on enjoying my life. |
Top Comments by /u/neacalathea:
No one cares, they will be happy. They might say some stupid shit like "finally" but mostly people will be happy that they don't have to worry about offending you anymore and that you are finding yourself. My mom was happy as long as I was happy.
You will be anxious and it might feel weird for a while but that will go away. For me it's been 4 years soon and now everything is normal and it was merely a phase that I had that taught me a few things about myself.
I have realised that at age 15 I knew nothing about me and everything was confusing because of hormones and bad mental health. I am so glad that I didn't do anything that I could have (and now would have) regretted.
I just wish that people were allowed to explore themselves and their identities in a safe way without permanent changes. Because even if I changed my mind about it for me it was very real during those years and if people would have just beenmore accepting it would not have been so hard. And I would't have considered a mastectomy or hormones. Today I am very glad that I desisted and I would advice anyone in their teenage years to wait for all of the teenage stuff to calm down until they make such permanent decisions. At least until your 20, preferably 25 since that is around the time where a human brain is fully developed.
I wish you the best of luck!
Kids around that age in Sweden got hormone blockers because they identified as trans and it ended up being really bad for their bones and I think a lot of other stuff in the body as well. So no not surgery but hormone blockers and hormones aren't that great either. Especially for not fully developed humans without enough reasearch to know how it affects the body longterm.
This was a big news thing I think last year or maybe the year before that, which is why I am a bit fussy on the details.
I didn't know anything when I was 18. Even if you are considered a grown up at 18 you are still a teenager full of hormons. Yeah it's starting to ebb out but it hasn't completely. I would wait if I were you until you're in your twenties. If it's something you want after 20-25-ish then go for it, at least you gave it time to sink in and for you to continue developing, (yeah we continue to develop until we are around 25, the brain isn't fully formed at 18).
It's better to give it time, since it's such a big decision. You change they way your entire body will function and that is not a small thing, at all. Don't make this decision lightly because it isn't. Think about it, read about different peoples stories, people that are on here and people that are trans, don't just get stuck in one community because you will get a one sided picture then. Look into what research says and what the different options are. You don't have to stress this.
I wish you all the luck and if you have any questions then please feel free to ask. This is very serious and it's worth really thinking about it and not just getting sucked into a one way street. I promise that if you give it time you will end up making a good decision, a decision that is not rushed. I wish you the best.
It's okay to look boyish and have boyish clothes. You probably won't afford to fix everything all at once, it's a slow process. I would recommend you to start somewhere and it will probably feel better. It did for me.
I decided to let my hair grow out and then I went shopping and bought two feminine items and then slowly started to change out the items in my wardrobe. Change never happens over night and that is okay. Just start small, maybe you can ask your mom to go out and buy a dress or skirt for summer? I think she would like that and both of you can make a bit of a day out of it.
You can do this, start small and take baby steps and sooner than you think things will have started to change. It's so hard but I know that it was worth it, for me it really was. Now my entire wardrobe is feminine clothes and I have gotten an awesome style and I feel so comfortable. I started this change just 3 years ago. Time happens really quickly, you can do this!
I'm not diagnosed but highly suspect autism. I was never normal or fit in well with the other girls. The boys didn't treat me like they treated the other girls either and that with all my not girly interests made me think that I wasn't one. You know I saw what a girl was supposed to be and I didn't fit into that so when I realised there was this non-binary thing I thought that suited pretty well, since I wasn't a boy either.
It was so obvious and then people in the LGBTQ+ community treated me well, sure I didn't fit in with everyone there but you're not supposed to do that, but I did fit in. They were nice and welcoming, and I didn't feel so weird with them because to society we were all weird.
I'm still not sure if I am a woman or if non-binary even exists. All I know is that I don't have to know. Society will continue with this man, woman, trans thing and I just have to choose one, being a woman is less complicated and give me other stuff to think and enjoy instead, also it doesn't make me more weird than I already am.
I don't know what I am or what I am supposed to be I just want to live my life and enjoy the things that I enjoy and do the things that I want to do. Like I got this amazing book about cheese, and I'd rather read this book and eat cheese than try to press myself into all of these molds that society have. I can wear guy clothes or I can wear girl clothes, I can have make-up or not, have short hair or long hair or green hair and still enjoy cheese and other good foods, books, games and movies/tv-shows. It's very nice not having to correct people all the time and be angry when they misgender me or say the wrong name, I'm my name and I use the pronouns for my gender, if someone where to call me they or he I don't need to care because I am me and I'm gonna try to enjoy the life that I have, here on this earth as much as I can.
Yes, I did think so. I have always been weird and different. For some reason I can never seem to fit in as well as other people do. This is something that I have always felt and been aware of, but as a teenager when you don't understand why it becomse confusing and that mixed with the dysphoria from all the hormones confused me even more. Because of that feeling of never belonging, and not "being like other girls" made it seem that I was trans and that I had known since childhood because I felt weird and different since childhood.
It's weird looking back on it since I now know what I know, but I really thought that I knew since childhood.