This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent, detailing a specific journey of a desisted GNC woman. The language is complex and reflective, not formulaic or repetitive. The account expresses a common and passionate perspective found in the detrans community, including criticism of trans ideology without displaying hatred toward trans people, which aligns with the stated experiences of harm and the need for a safe space to discuss them.
About me
I grew up feeling like a broken girl because I was a tomboy who didn't fit in. When I found information about transitioning online, I became convinced that becoming a man was the only way to fix myself. I'm grateful I never medically transitioned, because I eventually realized I was never broken to begin with. Now I understand that I can be a woman even if I'm masculine, and finding other women like me was a huge help. I'm finally learning to make peace with my body instead of trying to change it.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was very young. I always felt like an outsider, a broken girl. I was a confident tomboy growing up, but I learned to feel shame for being different. I was too awkward and quiet, too masculine. This feeling of being wrong in my own skin was a unique distress I carried for a long time.
When I found information about transition online, it was like a lightbulb went off. It felt like it finally described what was wrong with me. I became completely convinced that the only way to heal myself and feel better was to take testosterone and live as a man. I believed that my feelings of being an outsider were proof I was born in the wrong body. Finding this online validated my worst perceptions of myself and made me believe that medical transition was my only option to fix myself. I was also highly influenced by my peers and the online communities I was in.
I never got to the point of physically transitioning. For me, it stopped at that strong desire. I'm so grateful now that I didn't go down that path. It took me a long time to accept that I was never broken. Some days I still struggle with the desire to be a man, but I understand now that wanting to be something doesn't make you that thing. I had to finally understand myself to be a woman, regardless of my feelings or how I present. My idea of "becoming a man" would have just been lying to myself.
I'm much happier now trying to make peace with that truth. A big turning point for me was finding other women who felt the same way I did—other gender non-conforming or dysphoric women. Seeing that there was a life for me as a butch or GNC woman, that medical transition wasn't my only option, was huge. I wish I had explored that possibility more before I ever considered transition.
I do have some regrets about how deeply I internalized those beliefs and how much time I spent thinking transition was my only way out. I feel like I was pressured by an ideology that encouraged self-harm and self-hatred. I don't hate trans people at all, but I am critical of the ideas that told me I needed to change my body to be happy.
For anyone questioning now, my advice is to give yourself time. You never know the person you will grow into in just a couple of years. It's wise to find a home in your body before trying to change it.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Felt like an outsider, a "broken" girl. Was a confident tomboy until I learned to feel shame for being different. |
| Teen Years/Young Adult | Discovered information about transition online. Felt it perfectly described my distress. Became convinced taking testosterone and living as a man was my only option to feel better. Heavily influenced by online communities and peers. |
| Young Adult | Realized I was a woman regardless of my feelings. Understood that wanting to be a man didn't make me one. Began to make peace with being a gender non-conforming woman. Found support from other dysphoric/GNC women. |
Top Comments by /u/nebraska420:
I'm curious as to where in this sub you're seeing hatred towards trans people--personally I see more compassion than anything here. Rejecting an ideology is not the same as hating a group of people.
Some detransitioners/desisters may express some hostility towards trans rhetoric because for many of us, these ideas encouraged self-harm and/or self-hatred. Many of us have been physically and emotionally harmed by this ideology, so it's only natural that some of us speak critically about it. Please keep in mind this is one of the only places on the internet where it is safe for us to do so.
What doesn't help is when we are criticized for telling our stories and experiences and told that we must "hate trans people" because we have some issues with the ideology that we were pressured to internalize. I don't think anyone here hates or even dislikes trans people in any sense.
Yeah, honestly I think that more women conform than not because they simply want to be respected. Part of female socialization also seems to encourage excessive modesty/lack of confidence for a lot of women--it can be difficult to unlearn those lifelong undercurrents (and overt messages).
I was a very confident tomboy growing up, until I learned to feel shame for being different. I think many of us here are still trying to work through how people perceive us vs. how we feel most comfortable.
Benjamen Boyce, if I am not mistaken, has never explicitly made the claim that he has a gender identity. As lucretia said, he is clearly an adult human male, and the term "cisgender" or "cis" implies that Boyce identifies as a man. To claim that everyone who isn't trans-identifying is "cis" implies that every person must have a gender identity, and some people actually find this notion deeply offensive.
The terms "cis" and "trans" as opposing states of being creates a false binary that is utterly indefinable, sort of like the term "gender identity". It is a deeply subjective, internal idea of oneself and therefore non-definitive. We can't agree on one definition for the term gender identity--let alone test for it in a clinical setting. This is a big part of why there are detransitioners in the first place--there is no way to objectively test someone for being transgender.
Desisted gnc woman here. Imo it isn't "wanting to be a woman" at all... In fact I still struggle with the desire to be a man some days. It's finally understanding myself to be a woman regardless of my feelings/presentation, and accepting that my idea of "becoming a man" would simply mean lying to myself.
Wanting to be something, no matter how much you want it, does not make you that thing unfortunately. I am much happier trying to make peace with my truth
That's a good question. Unfortunately, while there may be some common experiences, there is no way to discern someone who might desist/detransition from someone who may not.
There are individuals here and elsewhere who exhibit "textbook" cases of gender dysphoria beginning in early childhood, go through every step of gender transition with complete confidence, pass for their desired sex, and still decide to turn back. This is not meant to scare you, nor denigrate anyone who is trans-identified or has gone through this, but it is meant to be a word of caution I suppose. You never know the person that you will grow into in just a couple of years, and it would be wise to give yourself room to find a home in your body before trying to change it.
It goes without saying that there are many here who wish they had been given a chance to do so before medically or even socially transitioning. These individuals (myself included) will often tell you that finding other dysphoric/GNC women was a turning point for them, and that they had not properly explored the possibility of simply being a butch lesbian/gnc woman before attempting to transition.
Dysphoric/GNC women are out there--medical transition is not your only option. It sounds like you have a lot of time to figure this out. Anyway, you're welcome to bring any more questions you might have by this sub, or you can pm me if you want.
Same here, it was as if I'd finally found something that described what I felt like was my own unique distress that I've had since I was very young... Then, and this is where it gets bad, something about finding transition and the associated discourse online led me to fully believe that the only way to heal myself and feel better was to take T and "live as a man". I was seriously convinced this was my only option, and that I had felt like an outsider for a reason.
Coming across it online really validated my worst perceptions of myself. That I was a "broken" girl, too awkward and quiet, too masculine--all of that somehow proved to me that I truly was "born in the wrong body". It felt like it pinpointed exactly what was wrong with me, and I could finally fix myself, and have a community of others who felt the same way. So yeah, I think the feelings were always there, but the desire to transition was highly influenced by both my peers and the internet.
It took me so long to accept I was never broken--some days I'm still trying. But this sub helps a lot.
Edit: I feel I should clarify that I never got the point of physically transitioning
The choice is yours, though I worry you could be rushing into this. Why not sit down and talk with your parents about it? Tell them how you feel, let them know what's up and see what they think.
This is Crash, an articulate and reidentified woman, I would recommend you check out her channel and see what she has to say. Here's the first video I saw of hers, it really changed my perspective. Her whole channel helped me to better understand and explore the beliefs I held while identifying as trans.
Best of luck and be safe.