This story is from the comments by /u/neongrayjoy that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account for "neongrayjoy" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over a long period (2020-2025). They describe a very specific personal journey: a five-year medical transition (FTM), detransition, a diagnosis of Depersonalisation Disorder, the physical and social challenges of re-adapting, and a subsequent pregnancy. The tone is passionate and often angry, which aligns with the warning that detransitioners can be "pissed off about this topic because of the harm and stigma." The comments show a clear and evolving perspective, including self-reflection and occasional contradictions (e.g., acknowledging some benefits of T while condemning its overall harm), which is characteristic of a genuine person processing a traumatic experience.
About me
I started transitioning to male at 23 when doctors offered it as the only solution for feeling disconnected from my ill body, and getting testosterone was way too easy. For five years, I lived as a man and liked the respect and strength it gave me, but it always felt like a costume and my underlying mental health issues were completely ignored. My health collapsed from the hormones, and when I treated my physical inflammation at 28, my dysphoria vanished and I realized I could never actually change my sex. I detransitioned out of necessity, not happiness, and I deeply regret the permanent harm I did to my body, like losing my fertility. Now at 33, I'm pregnant and finally making peace with my female body, understanding that true healing meant investigating my problems, not just affirming them.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was about 23. I was chronically ill and felt completely disconnected from my body. I didn't feel right, and when I went to doctors and therapists saying I didn't feel at home in my skin, they pushed me towards the idea that I was transgender. I wasn't sure, but it seemed like the only explanation anyone offered. I saw a psychologist and a psychiatrist once each, basically told them what I'd learned from online spaces like Tumblr, and was able to get a prescription for testosterone from an endocrinologist who didn't even ask for letters from the therapists. It was way too easy.
I lived as a man for five years, from 23 to 28. I called myself Connor. At first, it felt like a relief. Life was easier as a man; I got more respect and wasn't objectified. I liked the physical changes from testosterone, like gaining muscle and a deeper voice. I’d always felt small and frail, and T made me feel stronger. But it never felt completely right. It always felt like I was wearing a costume. Even when people told me I passed well, I never felt good enough. I never felt like a real man.
During this time, my mental health was a mess, but no one looked deeper. I now know I have Depersonalisation Disorder, where I have dissociative episodes and don't recognise my own body. At one point, I even had the delusion that I was an android. When I finally told a therapist I imagined myself as a male robot, she told me to "embrace that identity" instead of helping me. The system just affirmed whatever I said. I also believe I am autistic, and I had encephalitis that was exacerbated by the testosterone, which made everything worse. My thinking was completely detached from reality.
A major reason I wanted to be a man was because I hated how society treats women. I was asexual at the time and felt immense pressure from the expectations placed on women. I thought if I became a man, I could escape the condescension and objectification. I also had a kind of genital dysphoria; I hated the idea of penetration and, in my mind, saw myself as the one doing the penetrating during sex. I now see that as a form of autoandrophilia.
Everything changed when I was 28. I’d been on a low dose of T for five years, but my health was deteriorating badly. I developed serious health complications, including chronic fatigue syndrome and new autoimmune disorders that left me allergic to most fruits and vegetables. The turning point came when I changed my diet and started treating the inflammation in my body. It was like waking up from a dream. The dysphoria I had lived with for years just evaporated overnight. I suddenly realised I couldn't actually change my sex, and that trying to do so was destroying my health. I also had a sudden, strong desire to get pregnant, which completely shifted my perspective.
I decided to detransition. I just started posting photos of myself as a woman on Instagram, changed my name back, and told people. My family was overjoyed; my mum said she felt like she had her daughter back. Most friends were supportive, with the nicest response being "welcome back." I only lost one friend who called me transphobic.
Detransitioning wasn't a happy choice; it was a necessary one. Returning to life as a woman has been hard. I have to deal with harassment and condescension all over again, but I'm older and more confident now and don't tolerate it. I don’t regret transitioning because I learned a lot about myself, but I am full of regret for the harm I did to my body. I'm now infertile, and I have never been able to orgasm since taking T, which might be permanent.
My views on gender have completely changed. I think the idea that you can be born in the wrong body is a lie. Gender is just stereotypes, and you can be a masculine woman or a feminine man without needing a new identity. I believe true, lifelong gender dysphoria is incredibly rare, and what we see now is a social epidemic, largely affecting young women, fueled by inadequate mental healthcare that affirms instead of investigates. I benefited from therapy that finally explored my underlying issues instead of just affirming my confused ideas.
Now, at 33, I'm learning to accept my body. I'm pregnant, which has made me feel more connected to my female body than ever before. I still have a deeper voice and more muscle, which I like, and I present in a butch, androgynous way. I still experience feelings of gender dysphoria and envy towards men, but I deal with it in healthier ways now. I know I am, and always will be, female, and that’s okay. The goal is to make peace with the body I have.
Timeline of Events
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 21 | Contracted Barmah Forest Virus, leading to chronic fatigue. |
| 23 | Began identifying as a transgender man (Connor); started taking testosterone. |
| 23-28 | Lived as a man for five years. |
| 28 | Stopped testosterone; detransitioned and resumed living as a woman. |
| 33 | (Current age) Pregnant; continuing to navigate life after detransition. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/neongrayjoy:
I just woke up one day and connected with being a woman after five years of living as a man. The delusion just disappeared for reasons I can't explain. There's really no support for us, outside of this group of course. You won't find much understanding from psychologists, ultimately you just have to do what feels right for you.
Puberty is traumatic, especially for little girls, and no one talks about it except in the context of encouraging naive children to transition. They don't support children as they go through this natural, but difficult change.
I barely remember the five years I lived as a man, I would never want to be a man, I don't find men appealing in any way, and yet I went crazy for a few years and no one stopped me.
Hormones played a big part I think, hah! But honestly, as a teenager I pretended to hate kids, I think in response to how adults would tease me for being "clucky", and there was also that desire to rebel. What could be worse than growing up to be someone's mum? Ew, so uncool, lol. But during my transition I stopped being so selfish and self absorbed, I met my partner, I changed and grew a lot. I had actually liked children the whole time and imagined adopting one day, but I outgrew that childish squeamishness about pregnancy. I guess you could say I stopped being scared of my own body. This is still a challenging time for sure, but one I am ready for.
These surgeries are highly experimental and don't improve dysphoria, so I'm glad you're hesitant to sign off on it. Teenagers especially are incapable of making these kinds of decisions, their brains just aren't fully developed yet. The affirmation model of therapy is a joke, it should be exploratory. Patients aren't suffering from gender dysphoria for no reason, it may be the result of trauma, issues with sexuality, autism, OCD, just to name a few factors. What therapists should be doing is helping patients get to the root cause of these feelings.
The problem arose when the community demonised transmedicalism when in reality, that's all transsexuality is, medically transitioning as a way to treat a mental illness. When trans started to evolve into a spiritual quasi-religious quantity, that's when we saw it all collapse into circular arguments. They pushed this idea that being transgender is natural, which I think is where this "tucute" vs "truscum" divide originated.
Because there's no such thing as changing your gender, it's all a lie, doctors will happily mutilate you for very inadequate results. It's basically gay conversion therapy, most of us are just gay and that's why we don't feel right about our gender, it's normal.
Yeah most people don't consciously identify as anything, that's normal. How many times a day so you think about your race or nationality? Before this whole trans movement, gender was about the same. I've come to terms with the fact that I will always be female, and there's no rules on how a woman should be, just stereotypes.
I can relate to your experience to a degree, I didn't like being trans, I felt like a freak. Apparently most people I met after transitioning didn't even realise I was a transman, but I never felt good enough, I never felt right. I am trying to accept my body for what it is, I'm trying to be a woman, I don't like it, I'm not happy, but I think I want to focus on therapy to accept who I am instead of mutilating myself into something I can never be.
I hate this too, I went to get a breast and cervical screening recently and for some reason the records still said "male", I was there in a dress and makeup using a female name. Anyway, it's my time to go to the change room and a woman in a hushed tones says "now, are you comfortable changing in the women's room?" "Uh, yeah, why?" "Well it says male on your form" "Lady, do I look like a man? Clearly that's a mistake, use common sense." And then she gave me the usual excuse that you never know and you have to be respectful. But it's as if she didn't really believe me, she still treated me like I was trans the rest of my appointment, thankfully she wasn't the doctor.
I basically woke up from all the trans bullshit one day and realised I was mad as hell and wasn't going to take it anymore. The trans ideology had turned out to be nothing more than a cult, I thought I was a smart person, but it turned out I was an idiot. An idiot who had been led down a path of hating her body and womanhood in general. Yes, being a woman sucks, but the answer was not to reject my gender but to fight harder for women's rights. And yes, I did lose a lot of friends when I became honest about my opinions, but I also made a lot of new ones.