This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user identifies as a desister, and their comments reflect a consistent, personal perspective on detransition, gender identity, and societal pressures. The writing style is natural, with varied sentence structure and personal opinion, which is not typical of bot-generated content. The views expressed are nuanced and align with the passionate and often critical discourse found in the detrans community.
About me
I started by questioning if I was non-binary because I never felt like a typical woman. I eventually realized my discomfort was common for a female in a sexist world, not a sign I was born wrong. I saw others struggle with the pressure to overcompensate with femininity after medical steps, and I worried about never truly "passing" if I transitioned. I stopped before making any permanent changes, deciding transition wasn't the right path for me. Now, I believe we should just let people be without labels, and for me, that means living as the woman I am.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and confusing, and I’ve ended up in a place I never expected. I started off believing I might be non-binary. The idea of not being exclusively a man or a woman made sense for a while because I never felt like I fit neatly into the box of being a woman. But over time, I stopped believing in "identifying" as anything. It started to feel useless to me. I realized that my feelings of not fitting in were actually pretty common for a female living in a sexist world. I began to think it would be better in the long run to get rid of these boxes altogether, instead of creating new ones for myself.
A big part of my thinking was shaped by seeing other people's transitions. I noticed that a lot of people, especially new detransitioners or desisters like me, seemed to want to overcompensate for masculine traits they got from testosterone or surgery by dressing or acting in a very stereotypically feminine way. They didn't want to be mistaken for a man. I saw it as a difficult balancing act between dressing how you want and being perceived as a woman.
I spent a lot of time in online spaces, and I saw the worries people had about transitioning. I remember telling someone that if they decided to transition, they had to be ready for the reality that they might not "pass" as a woman 100% of the time. I asked them to think about their future: Could they imagine dating, getting married, or growing old as a trans woman, potentially without ever fully achieving the look they wanted? It was a harsh thing to say, but I thought it was an important reality to face. I think I was projecting my own fears onto that question.
I also thought a lot about the physical aspects. I learned about conditions like Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS), where someone is genetically male but develops as a female because their body doesn't respond to testosterone. I found it interesting that studies showed women with this condition were satisfied with being female and didn't want to change. It made me think about the difference between a biological condition and a feeling of identity.
In the end, my own conclusion was different from the path I started on. I desisted. I realized that transitioning wasn't the right answer for me. I came to believe that my discomfort wasn't because I was born in the wrong body, but because of the pressures and stereotypes placed on women. I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to this understanding, but I am glad I stopped before making any permanent changes. My main thought on gender now is that we should just let people be who they are without needing to label it. As an individual, you should always do what is best for you, and for me, that meant stepping away from the idea of transition altogether.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my comments:
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| (Age not specified) | 2019 | I was researching intersex conditions like Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS) and Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH). |
| (Age not specified) | 2022 | I was actively involved in online trans communities, questioning the realities of transitioning and "passing." |
| (Age not specified) | 2023 | I identified as a desister and observed the patterns in how people detransition. |
| (Age not specified) | 2024 | I solidified my view that I don't believe in gender identity and that my feelings are common for a female in a sexist society. I decided that getting rid of gender boxes is better than creating new ones for myself. |
Top Comments by /u/nepLegion:
mmmm, i m a desister so my opinion may not be what you are looking for but...
some of them seem to want to ¨compensate¨ the masculine characteristics they got from testosterone or surgery with a more stereotypical feminine way of dressing, act, and objectives, this seem true especially for new detrans or desister people. they also dont want to be confused with a men or trans people
it can be hard to find a balance between: dress they way i want be dressed and be perceived as a woman. it's a balancing act.
you also have to understand the timing of the detransition, the people who detransition right now, are not the same people that detransition 10 years ago.
while i see where you are coming from my conclusion is different. i dont want to be in the other category when my feelings are common and usual for a female who is living in a sexist world. i think its gonna be better as a group in the long term getting rid of the boxes all together. that said as a individual you should always do what is best for you
How does a transgender person feel?
I asked about the clothes because I think there are no women's clothes or men's clothes, just clothes that are stereotypically worn by women or men. I think everyone should dress comfortable or whatever they want. from what you write it seems that we agree
it's okay to do what makes you feel comfortable, that's good.
Have you considered why you feel comfortable that way? again you just can't answer that's ok
you seem very concerned about how other people perceive you, that they will see you as a man in a dress (is one example). but if you decide to transition it is a reality that you have to accept, because unless you have money to spend on transitioning or you already have a face and a body that is already very very stereotypically feminine(sounds like you do), it is likely that you will not pass 100%, we all age (even if you have money and appearance it is possible that you still do not pass). That people might use your preferred pronouns/name but they could still clock you. It's something you have to decide and be ready for if you don't get the look you want in the long run.
Can you imagine going on dates as a trans woman?
Can you imagine getting married as a trans woman?
Can you imagine having children as a trans woman?
Do you imagine yourself in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s as a trans woman?
are you ready for at that age not to "pass" as a woman
its real as much a you want it to be
nonbinary is: someone who does not identify as exclusively a man or a woman, sometimes a woman sometimes a man, sometimes a little bit of man and plenty of woman.
personally i dont belive in "identify" with anything, so its very useless for me
About xy females
Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome
Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS) is an X-linked recessive disorder in which affected individuals have external female genitalia and breast development despite being genetically male (46XY). Tissues of affected individuals are unresponsive to male hormones (androgens) yet respond to estrogens.
Wisniewski et al. assessed the physical and psychosexual status of 14 women with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (CAIS) by questionnaire as well as medical examination in order to determine the participants' knowledge of their disorder as well as their opinion of medical and surgical treatment. (34) Most of the women questioned expressed satisfaction with their psychosexual development and sexual function. All of the women who participated in the study were satisfied at having been raised as females, and none of the participants desired gender reassignment. (35)
xx males
Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) is an inherited autosomal recessive condition that can affect both boys and girls. It is the most common cause of intersexuality in females with 46XX, where untreated girls develop an outwardly male appearance. This disorder, also called adrenogenital syndrome (AGS), results from a genetically caused deficiency of cortisol, a steroid hormone produced by the adrenal cortex. The disorder occurs with a frequency of 1:5000 and results in incomplete female sex differentiation and increased androgenic effects due to a compensatory increase in adrenocortical hormone (ACTH). (33)