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Reddit user /u/njjyssrhjkydse's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 18
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
puberty discomfort
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user demonstrates nuanced, personal, and consistent storytelling about their detransition experience, including specific medical details (e.g., 15 months on T, period changes) and psychological introspection (e.g., maladaptive daydreaming, BPD, separating sex from gender). The language is passionate but not robotic, and the perspective aligns with a desister who found resolution without medical intervention. There are no obvious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic account.

About me

I'm a young woman who started feeling deep discomfort with my body during puberty, especially with my developing breasts. I pursued a medical transition, taking testosterone for 15 months and desperately wanting top surgery, believing it was my only path to happiness. I began to detransition after realizing my dysphoria was rooted in escapism, depression, and a hatred of social expectations rather than being born in the wrong body. I've learned that I can be a woman who looks and acts any way I want, and that my female body is just a neutral fact. I no longer experience dysphoria, and I've found real self-acceptance and peace.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I began to feel a deep discomfort with my body, specifically with having breasts. I now believe a lot of this was tied to puberty and the sudden, uncomfortable changes that came with it. At the time, I didn't see it that way. I was also struggling with a lot of other things, including depression and very low self-esteem.

I spent a huge amount of time online, and I got really into maladaptive daydreaming. I would constantly imagine myself as the male characters from stories I loved. This escapism felt so much better than my real life. I started to believe that the reason I felt so connected to these male characters was because I was actually a man inside. That thought became my entire focus. I convinced myself that if I was a man, then of course I should have a flat chest and a deeper voice. My disgust with my breasts grew because they were proof that I wasn't who I thought I was.

This led me to pursue medical transition. I was on testosterone for 15 months. My period never fully stopped, but it did become much lighter and shorter. I was absolutely convinced that top surgery was the next step for me; I was begging for it. I thought it was the only way to fix the feeling that my body was wrong.

But over time, I started to have doubts. I saw how in some online spaces, any questioning was met with immediate, overwhelming validation that I was still trans. If I expressed a doubt, people would just tell me I was "still valid" instead of actually listening to my concern. It felt like they were trying to pull me back in rather than support me in figuring out my truth. I realized I needed to step away from the internet and really examine my feelings without that influence.

I started to try and separate the idea of my sex from everything else in my life. I am female. That is just a simple, biological fact about my body, like having two hands. It doesn't have to dictate my interests, my style, my sexuality, or how I want to present myself to the world. I realized I could cut my hair short, wear men's clothes, and do all the "masculine" things I wanted to do, and still be a woman. There is no rule against it.

I dug deep to find the root cause of my dysphoria. For me, it wasn't that I was born in the wrong body. It was that I hated the social expectations placed on me, I was uncomfortable with the changes of puberty, and I was using maladaptive daydreaming and the idea of being a man as a form of escapism from my depression and low self-esteem. Once I worked on those core issues, the feelings of dysphoria just... faded away. I stopped wanting to be someone else and started to actually want to be me. I found a sense of empowerment and learned to love myself as a woman.

I don't regret my transition because the journey, even the difficult parts, taught me so much about myself. It forced me to become more self-aware and to understand my own mind. My time on T and the changes it caused are just a part of my history now. I don't experience body dysphoria anymore. My perspective on gender now is that it really doesn't matter as much as we think it does in daily life. When you go to the grocery store or see a friend, no one is thinking about gender. You can just be a person.

Age Event
14-15 Began experiencing intense discomfort with puberty and developing breasts. Started maladaptive daydreaming, often as male characters.
16 Socially transitioned and began identifying as a man.
17 Started testosterone.
18 (15 months later) Stopped testosterone. Began to seriously question my transition and explore the root causes of my dysphoria.
18 Fully detransitioned. Learned to separate my female sex from social expectations and found self-acceptance.

Top Comments by /u/njjyssrhjkydse:

7 comments • Posting since January 2, 2023
Reddit user njjyssrhjkydse (detrans female) comments on the increasing rates of detransition, linking it to greater societal acceptance and ease of transition.
31 pointsJan 15, 2023
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They reference the supposed reality of the past but dont consider how things can change with society. More and more people are transitioning nowadays and its a lot more accepted and easier to do, naturally there will also be way more people detransitioning.

Reddit user njjyssrhjkydse (detrans female) advises detransitioner to disconnect femininity from womanhood, allowing themselves to explore it as a man to avoid associating manhood with depression.
24 pointsJan 23, 2023
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My advice would be to try to disconnect femininity with womanhood. Remind yourself youre allowed to be feminine without being a woman. Its not like clothes are something forever like hormones. I think you should give yourself more room to explore femininity aside from anything to do with being trans. If you dont allow yourself to partake in things that make you happy as a man youll always associate manhood as depressing and womanhood as better.

You can look and dress any way you want without having to be a woman.

The reason i say all this despite you saying you dont want to be feminine is because you will always be unhappy and stuck feeling this way if you make these kinds of decisions for other peoples wants rather than what makes you happy.

Reddit user njjyssrhjkydse (detrans female) explains how maladaptive daydreaming and identifying with male characters caused her gender dysphoria, leading her to pursue transition before detransitioning after addressing the root cause.
18 pointsJan 15, 2023
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I had dysphoria. Its just that my dysphoria was caused by other things. My maladaptive daydreaming often caused me to imagine myself in the shoes of male characters which made me believe i wanted to be and was meant to be a man. I pursued transition and was actively dysphoric because i believed "well if im actually a man at heart then obviously i shouldnt have boobs" so then i would feel great disgust with my boobs because they didnt line up with the logic of me being a man. Now that ive seperated myself from that i do not feel that anymore because ive stopped labeling myself (especially not labeling myself as a man) and ive dug deep enough to figure out motivated me to transition in the first place. This is just a personal journey though, everyone is different.

Figuring out the root cause, self care, not associating things with a gender, find ways to cope with those feelings aside from transition all helped me get to where i am today.

So in the end the reason i detransitioned is because when i solved the root cause, those feelings left me and i started to feel love for myself as a woman again- i stopped wanting to me someone else, i wanted to be me again and i am a woman.

Reddit user njjyssrhjkydse (detrans female) explains how separating her sex from her identity, appearance, and interests eliminated her dysphoria.
12 pointsJan 2, 2023
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Before i say this i know this does not work for a lot of people, but it worked for me so im going to share it:

I just completely seperated my gender/sex from everything. Literally everything. I began seeing the fact that i am a woman/female as nothing more than an innate fact about my body that doesnt have to effect any aspect of my life. Hell, i can look completely like a man if thats what makes me happy while still recognizing and accepting that i am a woman/female and that doesnt matter. Seperate your sex from interests, sexuality, appearance- everything (and no dont just think the obvious stuff like makeup or tuxedos) Try to start looking at your sex as equivilent to any other boring fact about yourself. You being female means nothing more than you having two hands or two legs etc. You can look, act, dress etc in the complete opposite way that society would expect you to, you can even socially present as a man and it doesnt have to change the way you view your sex. You can still hide your breasts if you feel the need to while also still being a woman.

Once i starting thinking like that i found empowerment in myself as a woman very quickly and i learned to love that part of myself, i dont experience dysphoria anymore when my dysphoria used to be so bad i was begging for surgery. And again, i know there are plenty of people who this does not work for, but it works for some.

I also think it really helped to stay off the internet from some time and just live in the real world where you realize gender does not matter at all as much as people make it seem. Go to the grocery store, go visit a friend- i highly doubt gender will even be on your mind.

Reddit user njjyssrhjkydse (detrans female) explains the harmful over-validation in trans communities, where people expressing doubt are pulled back in with "you're still valid" instead of having their new path supported.
11 pointsJan 15, 2023
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From my experience this perspective is a bit extreme but i do definitely think the coddling of validation like youve mentioned is harmful especially in large quantities like it often is.

I understand the need for safe spaces in the same sense that this sub is 'our safespace' however i always hated how nobody could express a differing perspective without getting hate for it even if they were exclusively talking about themselves. I understand protecting other people from hate but if someone is simply talking about their own experience and feelings regarding their own journey there is no need to intentionally lead them astray by constantly claiming validity just because you want them to stay a part of the community.

My example of "intentionally leading them astray" would be:

Someone makes a post saying theyre not so sure transition is right for them afterall, theyre having doubts and think their dysphoria is caused by something else and they can deal with it without transition. - comments proceed to say "nono youre valid its okay its still dysphoria you can still be trans this doesnt mean youre not trans even if you dont transition its valid" instead of telling the op that its okay that this path wasnt right for them, theyre not validating the correct thing, theyre not validating the ops feelings or perspective but rather only validating them as trans to pull them back in. This is obvious because people do not react the same way when it is someone who is very sure and has already left that path (like us as detransitioners), they know they cannot pull us back in so instead they shame us.

Not saying everyone is like this i do not believe in hiveminds but im talking about specifically the people who do over-validate in all the wrong ways.

Reddit user njjyssrhjkydse (detrans female) explains how their BPD symptoms reduced during transition but did not return after detransition, attributing it to increased self-awareness and moving beyond labels.
9 pointsJan 15, 2023
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My bpd symptoms reduced greatly during my transition but the thing with me is that they didnt come back/worsen again after detransition. I think ive just had the time to understand myself better and be more intune with myself so its more of an emotional/psychological thing for me rather than a medical thing.

I think transitioning and spending so much time trying to understand myself, who i am and what i wanted helped me be more self aware.

Like another commenter said, a big part of bpd is identity issues so latching onto an identity may have given you comfort and now that youve seperated from it its back. Whereas with me i just kind of rid myself of labels altogether.

Reddit user njjyssrhjkydse (detrans female) comments on post-T menstrual cycle recovery, sharing their personal experience of periods shortening to 2 days on testosterone and then lengthening to 4 days a few months after stopping.
4 pointsJan 13, 2023
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How long were you on T and how long ago did your period stop?

I was on T for 15 months, my period never stopped fully but it went from 5 days to 2 days. The first month off was still 2 days, then the month after that 4 days- its been 4 ever since and its been a few months.