This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments demonstrate:
- Nuanced, personal opinions on gender and social issues.
- Empathetic engagement with other users' traumatic experiences.
- Consistent, logical argumentation in a debate, including the ability to clarify and de-escalate.
- Specific references to real-world concepts (e.g., a book, historical exam trends).
This pattern of behavior is complex and human-like, aligning with a passionate individual discussing a deeply personal topic.
About me
I was born female, and my discomfort began after I was sexually assaulted as a teenager, making me hate my body for making me feel vulnerable. I found an answer online and transitioned to male, believing it would solve my trauma and anxiety. I had top surgery and took testosterone, which felt like a relief at first, but my underlying pain never went away. I finally realized my desire to transition was rooted in internalized misogyny and a need to escape from being a vulnerable woman, not from being female itself. I am now detransitioning, dealing with permanent changes, and working in therapy to heal from my trauma and make peace with being a woman.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but not with my body itself. I was born female, and my real problems began after I was sexually assaulted as a teenager, more than once. That trauma made me feel like my body was a target, and I developed a severe hatred for my breasts because they felt like the thing that made me vulnerable and marked me as a victim. I wanted to get rid of them, to make myself invisible and safe.
I was also deeply depressed and had terrible anxiety and low self-esteem. I found a lot of comfort online in communities that explained these feelings as gender dysphoria. It felt like an answer. I was influenced heavily by what I read and by friends who were also transitioning. I came to believe that if I transitioned to male, all my problems would be solved. I started identifying as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a transgender man. I think a lot of this was a form of escapism—a way to run away from the traumatized girl I was and become someone completely new.
I started testosterone and eventually got top surgery. The surgery, in particular, felt like a relief at first. I had hated my breasts so much that removing them felt like removing the source of my pain. For a while, I felt better. I felt stronger and more in control.
But the relief didn't last. The underlying issues—the trauma, the depression, the anxiety—were still there. I had just put a medical bandage on a psychological wound. I started to realize that my desire to transition was heavily tied to my internalized misogyny. I had grown up in a world that constantly sends the message that women are weaker and less capable. I had internalized that message and thought that becoming a man was the only way to be strong and safe. I now see that my criticism of men, while coming from a place of dealing with sexism, was also part of my own complicated feelings about gender and power.
I began to understand that my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with the violence and sexism that is directed at females. I was trying to escape oppression by joining the oppressor's group. I don't think I ever had an innate sense of being male; I just had a desperate need to not be a vulnerable woman.
I have serious regrets about my transition. I am now infertile, which is a profound loss that I didn't fully grasp the weight of when I was younger. My body is permanently changed. I benefited greatly from therapy that was not gender-affirming, which finally helped me address the root causes of my distress: the trauma and the internalized hatred I felt for my own sex. I am now detransitioning and trying to make peace with being a woman, not as a stereotype, but as a person.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Sexually assaulted. Began to experience intense discomfort with female body, specifically breasts. |
| 18 | Heavily influenced by online communities; began identifying as non-binary. |
| 19 | Socially transitioned to male; started using a male name and pronouns. |
| 20 | Started testosterone hormone therapy. |
| 22 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 25 | Realized underlying trauma and internalized misogyny were the root causes; began detransitioning. |
| 26 | Stopped testosterone; began non-affirming therapy to address trauma. |
Top Comments by /u/nmhtph:
Although I understand you’re trying to be complimentary of males, there are a few unusual stereotypes in this post that are not quite right.
Men do not outperform women in exams in the UK, and have not done so for 20 years. I would argue that men do not deal with stress better than women - men are far more likely to be violent, be sexually aggressive, more likely to react to stress using violence, more likely to be in prison, and more likely to commit suicide.
Superhuman abilities and reactions to stress are seen in women as well as men - mothers lifting cars off of children, a girl lifting a tractor off of her father. This is a phenomenon know as hysterical strength.
Men are more impulsive, and more likely to take risks. This has been shown in countless studies, time and time again. Sometimes this is excellent in a high stress situation, but it can also be an extremely poor choice.
Men and women are socialised differently from birth, resulting in women permanently being weaker than their capacity or potential. See the Fragility Myth by Collette Dowling.
Although men are certainly physically stronger than women (wider joints that allow better potential for muscle building, higher muscle mass, overall height etc will always contribute, even if testosterone is substituted for estrogen), I think some of your other points are gender stereotypes and slightly smell of internalised misogyny. I think the “damsel in distress” trope and a sexist society certainly makes it hard to see outside of these norms.
I know you’re getting downvoted but I agree with this. people criticising men are women who have to put up with an abhorrent amount of sexism. I think of it like black people criticising white people. It’s fair game to be able to point of the flaws of the oppressor. I think, because OP isn’t the oppressor and is AFAB, that’s possibly why the criticism stings so.
I’m not saying you’re misogynistic and you certainly haven’t made me unhappy, it’s just I can see that there are some stereotypes that aren’t based on fact in your post. I think it’s so hard to grow up as a woman in a world that considers women not as good as men. Obviously we internalise those messages (I certainly have over the years)!
I hope my post didn’t upset you, I just know how much gender stereotypes that cast women as “less good” in certain situations can compound already difficult gender typecasting and norms.
Seriously, I hope you have a good day and I really didn’t want to upset you.
That’s what I said, men will always be stronger without a doubt. However, it has also been explored by Colette Dowling (based on studies) that female children are socialised to move and lift less once they reach the age of 3 or 4, which has a permanent detrimental impact on their physical development. Men will always be stronger than women no matter socialisation, but women could be stronger than they currently are if they break the shackles of socialisation.
I’m so sorry OP. That sounds so horrific I cannot begin to imagine.
Imposed gender dysphoria through abuse is something I recognise in myself, I was sexually assaulted as a teenager a few times.
I’m so glad you could recognise where the pain came from and you chose yourself, as you are, and you chose the path of health. Best wishes to you always