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Reddit user /u/nndndbsbsuzb's Detransition Story

male
took hormones
regrets transitioning
autogynephilia (agp)
got bottom surgery
now infertile
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The user demonstrates:

  • Personal, detailed experience with detransition, AGP theory, and hormone therapy.
  • Consistent ideology and engagement in nuanced debate.
  • Emotional investment and a persuasive, almost evangelizing tone, which aligns with a passionate detransitioner who has found an explanatory framework for their experience.

The account exhibits the expected passion and specific ideological focus of a genuine user from that community.

About me

I was born male and lived as a woman for four years after taking hormones and having surgery. My entire desire to transition came from a sexual place, where I fell in love with an idealized female version of myself. A huge turning point was when I stopped identifying as trans and my dysphoria vanished immediately. I now take testosterone to stay healthy and my body functions normally again. My journey helped me understand that for me, transitioning was an attempt to solve a sexual issue, not an identity one.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition is deeply tied to my sexuality, specifically something called autogynephilia or AGP. I was born male, and for about four years, I lived fully as a woman. I took hormones, and everyone in my life knew me as female. But looking back, I’m convinced the entire desire to transition came from a sexual place, even though I didn't recognize it at the time. When I was deep in transition, I dismissed AGP as pseudoscience, but now, with the clarity of being back on testosterone, it’s painfully obvious that AGP was the root cause for me.

I see AGP as creating a kind of “feminine artefact” inside myself. It’s like I constructed an ideal woman, a character, and I fell in love with her. This character felt like the real me, a woman trapped in a man’s body. The dysphoria I felt was this internal woman’s discomfort with my male appearance and voice. It’s similar to how some older cross-dressers talk about their feminine side as a separate person with its own name. I truly believed I was that person.

A huge turning point for me was when I stopped identifying as trans. Almost immediately, my dysphoria just vanished. It was like a switch flipped. I think that’s because once you decide you're trans, you start constantly measuring yourself against cis women and feeling the immense gap, which causes a lot of pain. When I let that go, the pressure was off. My experience has led me to believe that AGP is the driving force behind most transitions for males who are attracted to women, even if they seem like "normal," well-adjusted people. It’s not just a fringe thing.

I don’t really have regrets about my transition, but I see it now as a necessary journey to understand this part of myself. The process, including the physical changes from hormones, helped me finally see the truth. I had an orchiectomy as part of my transition, so I was surgically castrated. Now, I take testosterone to maintain healthy levels, and my body functions normally. My sexual drive came back once my testosterone levels were restored, which really solidified my understanding of AGP. For me, transitioning was an attempt to solve a sexual paraphilia, not a core identity issue.

My thoughts on gender now are that for people like me, it's deeply intertwined with sexuality. I think we live in isolated times, and it's easy to idealize the other gender and, when you're lonely, to turn that idealization inward and fall in love with the idea of being that other gender. I benefited from a lot of deep introspection, and getting my male sex drive back was a crucial part of understanding myself.

Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:

Age Event
(Age not specified) Started identifying as a woman and began living full-time as female. Began taking estrogen.
(Age not specified) Underwent orchiectomy (surgical removal of testes).
(Age not specified) Stopped identifying as trans and began detransitioning. Dysphoria disappeared.
(Age not specified) Started taking testosterone to maintain healthy hormone levels after detransitioning.

Top Comments by /u/nndndbsbsuzb:

9 comments • Posting since December 11, 2020
Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) explains that erectile function can return within a month or two of stopping HRT, provided testosterone levels are normal, and shares that his own function returned to normal despite being castrated.
85 pointsDec 22, 2020
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As long as your t levels are normal, it will. I am unfortunate in that I had been castrated as part of transition but somewhat fortunate in that they now give me testosterone.

It took a month or two for mine to function how it used to before transition. For you, idk, it might depend on your t levels. But if it’s some comfort - I have no balls but my dick works totally fine.

Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) explains his belief in AGP as the primary cause for his transition, describing it as the creation of a "feminine artefact" persona that leads to dysphoria.
39 pointsDec 11, 2020
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Nothing new, but I’m a believer in Blanchard’s typology pretty much and definitely a believer in AGP (having it myself). I didn’t think I had it when I was in transition despite the signs, I convinced myself it was pseudoscience. But now that I have testosterone and a sex drive — it’s very obvious to me that it was AGP (and maybe some other contributing factors, but AGP was the originator) that caused me to transition. I’m a bit of an AGP truther and I think a lot of how people live their lives comes down to sexual motivations.

I also believe that AGP causes something of a “feminine artefact” - that being the “woman” who is trapped inside AGP males. We essentially create this alternate persona as a character that we sort of fall in love with. Dysphoria occurs when that persons is the dominant one compared to our “normal” male selves. This is because we basically do become women trapped in men’s bodies in some sense - there is a pseudo-feminine character inside us that doesn’t like looking/sounding/etc like a man.

One piece of evidence for this feminine artefact is the way older AGPs talk. Or open cross dressers. They will often have a name for their feminine selves. See Jenner letting Caitlyn out for e.g. Talking about themselves in third person. “Alice would like that” - they’ve constructed an ideal woman inside them with which they’ve fallen in love and now must become in order to fully realise her.

People talk about AGP as though it’s only fringe MTFs who have it. Only the most open, fetish-obsessed, vocal minority of Twitter MTFs seem to be diagnosed with it. “Normal” acting MTFs, nice MTFs seem to get away with it. But the truth is that AGP is the cause for all non-exclusively androphilic (including before transition, history of desire for men throughout life, almost always came out as gay men or seemed like they would) MTF transition desire. Bi, pan, asexual (analloerotic) and even “straight” MTFs who now only sleep with men but have a history of desire for women — all of these groups are encompassed by AGP. Even the sweet, normal-seeming ones. Myself included. You don’t have to be an obvious 50 year old pervert to be AGP.

Behold my manifesto lol. Pm me if you like/want to talk about it more.

Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) explains why someone with Autogynephilia (AGP) should carefully consider transition, warning of potential loss of purpose after libido decreases and suggesting therapy.
19 pointsDec 15, 2020
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You’re AGP. Have you read a lot about this? I’m not saying this means you shouldn’t transition, but you should very very strongly consider that information. It is hard to have a successful transition as an AGP, as the initial drive to transition is ultimately libidinal even when it doesn’t feel like it.

It helped me to consider the idea that my so-called “feminine personality” was in some way constructed around someone I would like to be in a relationship with. Eventually, after much introspection (and some testosterone) it became clear how constructed this feminine facade was.

It’s very difficult to maintain this as an AGP. Once your sex drive is nuked, you might find yourself quite listless, wondering why exactly it was you transitioned in the fist place.

It’s worth finding a therapist (sex therapist or otherwise) that you can introspect about AGP with. Sex is so important and I think that’s why AGP is so hard to live with - it completely wreaks havoc with our sex lives, like any other paraphilia.

Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) explains the theory of autohomoeroticism (AHE) as a reason for transition, describing it as falling in love with an idealized version of one's other-gender self, accelerated by isolated online life.
18 pointsDec 11, 2020
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Ah yeah, wow, absolutely. The theory there is called autohomoeroticism. I guess the idea is that it’s less viscerally sexual but otherwise similar.

I think Being Online might not be the cause (for AGP, anyway, idk too much about AHE), but if one is susceptible, it’s 100% an accelerant.

Idealising the other gender and living in our atomised, individual little worlds. There’s no one else to fall in love with when you’re all by yourself at the computer - so you fall in love with your(other gender)self.

Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) explains that the desire to transition (MTF) often stems from Autogynephilia (AGP), a paraphilia, which can later develop into genuine dysphoria.
9 pointsDec 15, 2020
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That’s the trap lol. I’m detrans - I was trans for 4 years (hormones, “full time”, everyone knew me as a woman, whatever) - I know full well that is present even when it’s not directly sexual, it’s just that it ultimately comes from there. You develop a genuine dysphoria because your sexuality behaves in such a way. I wrote more about feminine artefact in a previous comment.

I know you want to live your life as a woman in all aspects, so did I. But it comes from AGP.

Cis women don’t get paraphilias.

There’s no difference between AGP and trans women - like 75% of trans women are agp and the others are hsts (like men).

Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) comments on a post about detransitioning, suggesting alternatives to avoid baldness and explaining how their own gender dysphoria vanished after stopping identifying as trans.
6 pointsDec 12, 2020
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You could take propecia/finasteride for hair loss. Or stay on HRT and try being perceived as a man and see what that does for you. It seems excessive to change your gender just because you don’t want to go bald.

For me, almost as soon as I stopped considering myself trans, my dysphoria basically disappeared as you said in your OP - it’s kind of easier to keep your head down. Once you “realise” you’re trans, that’s when the vast chasm between you and cis women becomes apparent and you get upset about it. That’s how it went for me anyway.

Good luck. I’m not trying to sway you either way, but certainly I felt similar and detrans has helped me a lot - but as I say, my dysphoria basically vanished. But I’m AGP. Maybe if you’re not, then we are looking at two fairly different situations.

Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) explains autogynephilia, clarifying that it involves attraction to oneself as a woman, not attraction to women in general.
5 pointsDec 15, 2020
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Exactly what this other guy said - asexuals are included. And also “straight men and lesbians aren’t gynephilic” - yes they are lol, it just means attracted to women/femininity. They just aren’t AUTOgynephilic - which is when the erotic target is turned inward to oneself as in males who want to be women.

Also, as other guy said: that book/essay is a demonstration of AGP! It’s the exact opposite. Anne Lawrence is AGP and trans woman. That book codifies experiences of AGP. I’ve seen lots of AGPs finally understand themselves (as AGP) after reading it. I don’t know where you got the idea that it disproves AGP from.

Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) comments on persistent nipple and breast pain 3-4 months after stopping MTF HRT, suggesting it's unusual past the growth phase and advising the user to check testosterone levels and see a doctor.
3 pointsDec 18, 2020
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It is unusual that it would be there 3-4 months after stopping. Usually the pain/tenderness is when they’re growing. Do you think you have enough testosterone? They could possibly still be growing or there might be something else going on - I would see a dr and tell them your history and see what they say.

Reddit user nndndbsbsuzb (detrans male) explains why they believe Blanchard's typology applies to OP, citing AGP as the cause for their MTF transition desire due to their stated attraction to women.
3 pointsDec 15, 2020
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I believe in Blanchard’s typology. OP has stated they have attraction to women (gynephilia) which means that a MTF transition desire is caused by AGP. As far as I’m concerned they’ve never been disproven. There’s an ask AGP subreddit + my own experience + experience reading about and interacting with other gynephilic MTFs = belief in AGP for me. If you’d like to point out in what way they are “disproven” theories, feel free to let me know.