This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments show:
- A consistent, emotionally raw narrative about trauma, medical conditions (PCOS, interstitial cystitis), and gender confusion.
- Internal conflict and nuanced, evolving thoughts about social transition and medical intervention.
- A personal writing style with informal language, typos, and emotional expression ("confused the living shit outta me").
- A focus on personal experience and advice that aligns with the concerns of genuine desisters (those questioning transition without having medically transitioned).
The account does not display the repetitive, agenda-driven, or copy-pasted content typical of inauthentic accounts. The passion and frustration present are consistent with someone grappling with a difficult personal history.
About me
My journey with gender started with trauma and a medical condition that made me feel uncomfortable in my body. I thought transitioning to male was the answer, but living as a man for two years without hormones has been lonely and confusing. I've decided against taking testosterone because of the health risks and my own mental health struggles. Now, I'm focusing on therapy to deal with my depression and past trauma. I'm learning that self-acceptance as a woman might be possible once I heal my underlying pain.
My detransition story
Looking back at everything I wrote, my journey with gender has been really messy and tied up with a lot of pain. I think a lot of my confusion started with trauma. When I was 13, I was almost raped, and then at 14, a neighbor forced me to take nudes for him. That really messed me up. For a long time after that, from about 15 to 19, I dressed in a way people would call "slutty." I think it was a weird reaction to what happened. But deep down, I always felt boyish. It's like those traumatic experiences forced me into a "girly" box that I never really felt comfortable in.
Puberty was also a huge source of discomfort for me. I found out I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), which gave me a mix of male and female characteristics. I grew hair on my chest and other places, and it made me really hate my body. I was confused for my entire teenage years because of it. I didn't want to shave, but I also felt uncomfortable with the hair, especially on my chest. It made it impossible to feel okay in my own skin.
When I was 19, I came out as trans. I think I was trying to get back to that boyish feeling I had before all the trauma. But it didn't go well. My exes judged me and said I was still too girly, which hurt. So I shifted to identifying as non-binary for about a year. Then, from late 2017 onwards, I've been living as a transgender man, but only socially—I never took hormones.
Thinking about taking testosterone (T) was a big deal for me. I was seriously considering it, but I started to realize the risks. I have a rare bladder condition called interstitial cystitis that already causes incontinence, and I read that T can make that worse. I'm also struggling with serious depression and suicidal thoughts, and I was worried that taking hormones might make my mental health worse instead of better. The idea of having to take it for the rest of my life felt like a huge commitment I wasn't sure I wanted.
All of this led me to rethink everything. I’m now seriously considering socially detransitioning. I’ve been living as a trans man for about two years without hormones, and it's been lonely—barely anyone wanted to date me because they found my identity confusing. I’m realizing that maybe I don't need to transition. What I really need is to work on my underlying issues. I'm going to therapy to deal with my depression and PTSD, and I want to figure out why I hate being female. Maybe it's connected to the trauma and the PCOS. I hope that by solving those problems, I can learn to love myself as I am.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to this point of questioning, but I do think I was influenced by my past and my medical condition. I hope other young people thinking about transition really look into the risks and, most importantly, go to the right kind of therapy to deal with any other problems they have first. I almost made a big mistake by thinking T was the answer, when what I really needed was help for my mental health.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | I was almost raped. |
| 14 | A neighbor forced me to take nudes for him. |
| 15-19 | I dressed in a "slutty" way, which I think was a reaction to the trauma. |
| Teenage Years | I was diagnosed with PCOS, which caused body confusion and discomfort. |
| 19 | I came out socially as a transgender man. |
| Around 19/20 | I identified as non-binary for about a year after facing judgment. |
| Late 17 (2017) | I started living publicly as a transgender man (FTM). |
| 19 (Present) | I am rethinking everything, deciding against testosterone, and focusing on therapy for depression and PTSD. Considering social detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/noahjuju1025:
Kinda feel your pain I have PCOS witch I’m thinking been making me hate my body since puberty and the reason I’m so confused today. Like I don’t want to shave at all really but I’ve learned a women can be hairy anyway so I’m close to socially detransitoning and not even start the T. I hope you find love in yourself like I’m trying to very much find. It tough but I gotta find out why I hate being a girl witch hope therapy helps..
Feel it in a way tho I never took hormones, I have PCOS and have a naturally high testosterone levels witch lead me to looking manly. It just feel like there no escape for me there. I hope other young people tho are trying to transition know the risks of T or HRT and know that they gotta keep taking it. And plus they have to go to therapy (the right one) to see what other problems they could have and try to solve before making a mistake
Just how I look sometimes I grow hair on my chest as well and only part I do hate hairy rest I don’t mind. PCOS gave me a lot of female sex characteristics and as well as a man and confused the living shit outta me really tho my whole teenage years and even now with thinking of socially detransitioning and not start the T like I planned to because of risks I found out involves and thinking I do need to take it for the rest of my life. Plus thinking now been trans pre t for 2 years straight and barely no one wanted to even date me cuz it was weird for them.
I’m kinda in your situation. I came out as trans about 7 months ago and rethinking everything. When I go to therapy And continue to go I’ll make a official decision then. Because really I don’t need to go tho this my whole life and maybe even make my mental health worse
Was diagnosed by hospital people in 2017 from an ex trying to choke me to death. But I knew in a way I had trauma wayyy before that cuz I was almost raped at 13 and was forced to take nudes for a neighbor at 14. Oddly I thought I was boyish most of my life but the neighbors thought otherwise and then witch lead to most of my trauma cuz at like 15 I was dressing kinda slutty till about 19 then I thought I miss my men stuff so I came out socially trans at 19 but got judged by all my ex’s then cuz they thought I was still girly so went to like no gender for like a year then by late 2017 to the present I’m considered ftm atm in the public.
Oh dang. Yeah I have a pretty rare bladder condition called interstitial cystitis and can already cause incontinence with my bladder
Yeah wow I might decide against it now cuz I am pretty suicidal as well and don’t need that worse
Imma tell my therapist I don’t need T just help with depression and PTSD atm and wonder why I do not like being a female and see if it connected maybe