This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user writes with personal nuance, shares specific opinions (e.g., on nerd culture, polyamory), and engages with the topic's complexity in a way consistent with a genuine, passionate desister/detransitioner.
About me
I started hating my female body as a teenager and found a community online that made me think I was non-binary. I later took testosterone, believing it was the only way to feel better, but it didn't fix my underlying depression and self-esteem issues. I stopped hormones when I realized I had made a huge mistake, and I deeply regret not getting the right kind of mental health support. Now, I'm learning to accept my body as it is and working on my real problems. I've found more peace by leaving those online spaces and focusing on building a stable life.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I felt completely out of place with my body when I was a teenager. I was born female, and when puberty hit, I hated the changes, especially developing breasts. It felt like my body was betraying me and becoming something that wasn't me. I spent a lot of time online, mostly in nerd and cosplay communities, and I saw a lot of people talking about being non-binary or trans. It seemed like an answer to the discomfort I was feeling. I started there, identifying as non-binary, because it felt like a less scary first step than saying I was a man.
I think a lot of my feelings were tied up in other issues I didn't understand at the time. I had really low self-esteem and depression, and I now see that a lot of my discomfort was a form of body dysmorphia, not true gender dysphoria. I was also deeply uncomfortable with the idea of being a lesbian; I think there was some internalized homophobia there that made the idea of being a man in a relationship with a woman feel safer and more acceptable than being a woman in a relationship with a woman. The online spaces I was in heavily influenced me; it felt like everyone was exploring gender, and it became the default way to explain any kind of unhappiness with yourself.
I ended up taking testosterone. I was convinced it was the only way to feel better and to finally be myself. For a while, it did make me feel good. I liked the changes at first—the deeper voice, the facial hair. It felt like I was taking control. But after a while, the novelty wore off and I was left with the same underlying problems. I was still me, just with a different set of physical traits. I started to realize I had made a huge mistake. The community I was in was not supportive of these doubts; any questioning was seen as betrayal. I felt trapped, like I had gnawed off my own leg to escape one trap only to find myself in another.
I stopped taking hormones. I regret transitioning. I regret that I didn't have people around me or professionals who could have helped me work through my depression, self-esteem issues, and discomfort with puberty without immediately jumping to medical transition as the only solution. I needed non-affirming therapy that would have challenged me to look deeper, but all I got was affirmation. I don't think all trans people are deluded, but I know for a fact that I was. My presence is proof that some people get swept up in it and make a choice they later regret.
I don't know if I can fully undo the changes. My voice is permanently deeper and I have to deal with that. The whole process was an expensive and painful lesson. I've found more peace now by stepping away from those online circles and focusing on practical things, like building a stable life for myself. I'm trying to accept my body as it is now and work on the mental health issues that led me here in the first place.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
14 | Started hating my body and the changes of puberty, especially breast development. |
17 | Spent a lot of time online in cosplay/nerd communities, identified as non-binary. |
19 | Began taking testosterone. |
22 | Realized it was a mistake and stopped hormones. Began my detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/notsoslootyman:
The trans community is used to being outcasted and hunted. You're right they don't take to any disagreement. I'm happy to have found this place that is by it's nature outside of the community so I can hear these points of views. If you to speak in their areas I would suggest you speak for only your journey. If you say trans is evil or that all trans people are crazy then you are basically tossing yourself out. Your very presence is proof that at least some of them are deluded like you were. You might be able to speak with and turn others before it's too late for them to detransition. I am happy for you. May you find peace.
I think this highlights a large problem in the trans community. They do get unfairly crapped on but because of that they became so sensitive that even reasonable measures became unreasonable. The various transition processes don't all have to happen all at once as fast as possible. If you are slowly walked through the options then it gives time for people like you that might be making mistakes. Not every trans person needs everything to feel better anyways. As an adult, yes this is on you, but there needs to be more involvement from people that have been through it and professionals that can coach people through in a reasonable manner without all of that trans hate. There is a middle path.
I've noticed it isn't just anime and cosplayers. Nerd culture is a bit more accepting of the oddities of the world. I run in a lot of weird circles and can definitely back you up here. For actual trans people the cosplay is a release from the normal boundaries of who you are allowed to be. I see the same trait in D&D-like role playing situations too. It's real easy to make a character with the opposite gender to explore. I've noticed similar effects on myself with my personal style or my shifting personality dictated by my role in social situations. In olden times you would find a similar group mentality in acting troups.
That's not true at all. These kinds of people have been recorded in medical books, history, and myth forever. Some cultures embrace them. Some cultures shun them. They persist independently as spontaneous phenomenon. This isn't to say a certain amount of social pressure can't influence people.
You're trapped. The urge to suicide is very similar to a caught rat gnawing off it's leg to escape. Fight it, or at least be lazy about it and put it off until you can come out (again) as cis? I'm polyamorous and that's not poly exactly. Were I you, I would say no for now. I think you've come to conclusion that you made a mistake. You shouldn't die over a mistake. We will not be trapped by covid forever. If you honestly feel that your relationship and home are in jeopardy then keep it to yourself until you get a job. Until then focus soley on getting a job. Treat job searching as a job. Spend eight hours daily doing it. It's easy to get overwhelmed in your situation, I've been in similar spots. If you focus on working to improve your situation you will succeed and you will be able to develop a backup plan. You just need time. You CAN do this.