This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The comments display:
- Personal, detailed narratives with specific, consistent experiences (e.g., effects of testosterone, family reactions, dating history).
- Emotional complexity and a nuanced, evolving perspective that is consistent over a multi-year timeline (2019-2024).
- Internal consistency in the user's story (e.g., citing CSA trauma as a root cause, changes in physical features post-detransition).
- A natural writing style with casual language, humor, and personal asides that read like a genuine person.
The account's views are critical yet measured, which aligns with the passionate but diverse opinions found within the detransitioner community.
About me
I started transitioning because I felt a deep discomfort with my female body that I now know came from past trauma and my autism. I was on testosterone for two years, but the changes made me feel worse, not better. After I stopped, I found peace and reconnected with my body as it returned to how it was. Through therapy, I learned my dysphoria wasn't innate but was a response to wanting to feel safe. Now I'm just a woman, grateful for my body and finally at peace with myself.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really struggling with my body and myself. I was born female, and from a young age, I experienced sexual trauma. I didn't fully understand it then, but I now realize that the parts of my body I hated the most—my chest and my curves—were the same parts that had been violated. I felt a deep discomfort with puberty and my developing body, but it wasn't about being in the wrong body; it was about safety. I didn't have a mother figure to talk to, and while my dad was supportive, he never really asked why I felt the way I did. He just wanted me to be happy.
I also found out later that I'm autistic, and the sensory issues that come with that played a part too. The idea of having facial hair, which I later got from testosterone, eventually made my skin crawl.
Before I transitioned, I identified as bisexual but always preferred dating girls or trans guys. I think there was some internalized homophobia there; being with a woman as a woman felt complicated in a way I couldn't articulate. I started identifying as non-binary first, and then as a trans man. It felt like an escape from all the pain and confusion. I was deeply influenced by what I saw online and the supportive community I found there. I was looking for an answer, and transitioning seemed like it.
I started testosterone when I was 19. At first, it was like a high. I felt good and finally felt like I had a solution. But that feeling didn't last. The "T-high" wore off, and I was left with the same problems, only now they were worse. I experienced what people call "T-rage"—intense anger episodes I wasn't expecting. I also found I couldn't cry or express my emotions properly, which was horrible for me. The changes, like my voice dropping and facial hair growing in, started to feel wrong.
I was on testosterone for about two years before I stopped. I quit cold turkey. The first week was hell—stomach upset, mood swings, just feeling awful. But after about five or six days, it was like I came up from underwater. I woke up with a clear head and a sense of peace in my own body that I hadn't felt in years. That was when I knew I had made the right choice to stop.
Detransitioning was a process. It took about as long for my body to revert as it did for me to be on T. My curves came back, my chest grew back—it's actually bigger now than it was before. My voice even got a little higher, though it's still deeper than it was originally. I had laser hair removal for my facial hair because I couldn't stand the feeling of it.
Telling my family was scary. I was embarrassed. I had always been someone who knew what they were doing, and I felt like I was letting everyone down by changing my mind again. But my dad and my whole family were incredibly supportive. It was almost anticlimactic; they just wanted to know what to call me. Relearning my birth name was a process. I had to talk to myself in the mirror, using my name in positive sentences, to reconnect with the person I saw.
The biggest thing I learned was that my dysphoria wasn't innate; it came from trauma. I didn't want to be a man; I just wanted to feel safe from men. Working through that in therapy was crucial. I benefited immensely from that non-affirming therapy, where I could explore the root of my issues instead of just affirming my initial feelings.
I don’t really have a strong relationship with gender anymore. I just exist. Most days I identify as a woman, but it's not a rigid thing. I feel a huge sense of gratitude for my body now, especially my breasts, which I used to hate. I see them as magical now, a part of me I’ve learned to appreciate.
My sexuality also shifted. After detransitioning, I realized I was only interested in women for a while, and I comfortably identified as a lesbian. But now, I’m in a happy relationship with a straight, cisgender man, which I never thought would happen. It turns out my preferences changed as I healed.
I don't regret transitioning. It was a necessary part of my journey to figure out who I am. I needed to go through it to understand that it wasn't the right path for me. I do wish I had been in therapy for a longer time before starting hormones, as I think I would have made a different decision. But I don't blame the trans community. I made my own choices, and they supported me when I needed it. My anger was never at them; it was at myself for not understanding my own pain sooner.
Now, I feel like I’ve met myself for the first time. I’m finally brave enough to be her.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started testosterone |
| 21 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey |
| 21 | Began the process of social detransition, told my family |
| 22 | Underwent laser hair removal for facial hair |
| 23 | Noted that my body had largely reverted; chest regained size, curves returned |
| 23 | Period returned, confirming fertility (later got an IUD) |
| 23 | Began identifying as a woman again and started dating my current boyfriend |
Top Comments by /u/oakcorn:
You are one of the lucky ones who realized their truth before they altered themselves. Be grateful you caught up with yourself in time! And celebrate that little journey of discovery regardless of how it turned out. It still taught you something important :)
Definitely would recommend seeing a therapist before making this decision on your own. I had a lot of similar thoughts that I thought were all indicators of a need to transition, but if I had listened and worked through it with a therapist or psychiatrist, I would have realized where all my body issues and identity issues came from. No one can tell you what to do or make up your mind for you, especially not at 16 lol, but please please at least see a therapist for a few sessions before you make such a big decision that's so hard to come back from physically and socially.
It's never too late!! No matter how far gone you think it is, his reaction is less important than you being true to yourself. As hard as he may have taken it at 13, most parents in my experience are overjoyed after their kids detrans because they see the life return back to them. If anything, this is a chance to fix it. It feels scary because change is always uncomfortable. But as long as you can have a grown conversation, admit your mistake, express your sadness over how your relationship was ruined over it, and just ask for his support in returning back to yourself. Whether or not he comes around now, he will eventually. And if he doesn't, you did what was true to you. Life will reward you for that alone. Best of luck ♥️
I started T for misguided reasons, I needed therapy for the CSA trauma I experienced when I was little, but I didn't have a mother figure and my dad is supportive but doesn't care to ask why, so he just let me do it to make me happy. Which it did for a while but eventually the T-high wore off and I still had the same problems, but worse bc they were amplified by anger and this inability to cry and express myself properly. I'm also on the spectrum so the feeling of my facial hair started to make my skin crawl. You can see how it went downhill from there. Eventually I separated myself from the community, spent time by myself and realized I didn't want to a man, I just wanted to feel safe around men. That kinda changed it for me. My dysphoria I realized came from trauma, it wasn't a coincidence the parts I hated the most about myself were the parts that got attention and touched without my permission when I was young.
Once I stopped cold turkey, it was like coming up from underwater. I woke up with a clear head after about 5-6 days of stomach upset and mood swings and general hell, to.... clarity. Peace in my own body. I felt normal for the first time in years. That's how I knew it was right for me.
Men like this are baffling! I can't even begin to understand the thought process that goes behind saying something like that to someone. Nasty behavior. I'm sorry it happened but you dodged a bullet. You are allowed to want whatever the fuck you want for yourself and your body. Anyone who attacks you for that has an agenda that ain't got shit to do with what you want!!
It is 100% possible to find what you're looking for as long as you keep saying no to freaks like that. Stand your ground always. I say this while laying next to my angel of a cis man I've been with for 4 years after meeting lots of assholes like that. The right person will think your detrans experience is unique and adds to your character. Anyone else simply cannot understand you the way you need and isn't worth the headache. Having sex boundaries IS the right way to go! Lots of freakazoids out there who just want to check trans or trans adjacent people off their fuck list.
My speech patterns definitely shift in different situations, I practiced with speaking in a 'head voice' often until I could reach those pitches comfortably. But the actual pitch of my voice has changed! Even when I speak in a normal, flat voice, it's higher than it was while I was on T. I honestly have no idea why or what the cause is, it's a possibility that the vocal chords do slightly soften again with the balance of estrogen. Doctors will say it's not possible but hormone therapy and its effects on people are so specific and individualistic that they're discovering new things that are possible every day. I wouldn't rule it out entirely 👀
My boyfriend is straight & cisgender, which I never thought would ever happen lol. Before I met him though, I did come across guys who were weirded out by it. I tried to be upfront and honest but once they heard my voice.. idk it just wigged them out I guess? When I met my current partner I didn't tell him about my past until he himself asked. People need to be given the chance to get to know you before you put a disclaimer on yourself. There's nothing wrong with us! And anyone with the right heart and mind capacity will understand our journeys and appreciate them for creating who we are now. You're not a weirdo, you have more capacity to understand any guy than another cis girl who hasn't been a guy before has tbh. That's what helped me cope with it
My second year is when most of my change happened honestly. Or when I actually started to notice. Plus that year I realized the facial hair wasn't going away so I got laser and that was a HUGE difference to my appearance and energy in general. My body is so so so different from last year, all my curves came back, my chest grew probably bigger than it's ever been, I have an ass again all of a sudden, it's been really disorienting but also cool! I'm still noticing changes, but also some things have stayed the same like how FAST my body hair still grows, it's lightened back up on my arms and stomach a little but still a very dark happy trail, my hairline's still a little strange. I've noticed that about as much time as I was on T, it's taken about that much time after to revert back.
As crazy as it sounds, talk to yourself. Call yourself by your birth name as often as you can, especially in the mirror. Not robotic, don't repeat the name over and over bc it'll feel even more wrong eventually. Small sentences, followed by your birth name. Always positively, always as if you are trying to remember somebody's name you just met, or u haven't seen in years. It's so important to reconnect that name with the person you see in the mirror otherwise you'll always be lost. Try third person and mixing your pronouns in there too. It took me a while to get used to being called by my birth name too, but it got better when I started doing this. The first person to accept you back has to always be you
Thank you! It's amazing to know someone else out there has come out of this experience with similar discoveries. Thank you for the info on my hormones as well! The little info there was to be found about detrans did mention the readjusting of hormone levels causing some minor discomfort for a short time, but wow the extent of it is much tougher than I imagined it to be. I'll be sure to check up with a doctor if my symptoms persist, so far I'm optimistic so fingers crossed! :)