This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona.
The comments display:
- Personal, nuanced experience: The user shares specific, non-clichéd details about their detransition (e.g., being stealth, two attempts at transition, numbness from surgery, a complicated relationship with testosterone).
- Internal consistency: The narrative of being an FTMTF detransitioner is consistent across posts made over two years.
- Emotional complexity: The tone ranges from analytical to passionate to supportive, reflecting the genuine emotional weight of the topic. The user expresses controversial or difficult feelings (like still missing T), which is typical of a real, conflicted person, not a scripted narrative.
- Natural digressions: The user occasionally discusses tangential but relatable topics (Italian passport rules, carnivore diet), which is normal human behavior for a real account.
About me
I was born female and transitioned to male for 18 months, including having top surgery, because I wanted to escape the pressures placed on women. I eventually realized I was just performing a role and that I didn't need to change my body to be myself. Now, I live as a female again, but I have permanent physical changes like nerve damage and a flat chest. My relationship with my body is still complicated, and I sometimes miss the confidence testosterone gave me. I've learned to accept myself as I am, focusing on my health and refusing to perform for anyone else.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition has been long and complicated. I was born female and I transitioned to male, taking testosterone for about 18 months. I also had top surgery. I eventually detransitioned and now live as a female again, but my relationship with my body is still very complicated.
I think a lot of my initial desire to transition came from a deep discomfort with the expectations placed on women. I hated my breasts and felt they made me an object to be looked at. I wanted to escape from that. I also struggled with depression and low self-esteem, and I thought becoming someone else—a man—would fix those feelings. For a while, it did feel like a solution. I was stealth and living as a man, and it felt like I was finally in control.
But eventually, I realized I was finished playing the game. Gender felt like an act I was putting on, and I was tired of performing. Stopping hormones wasn't about going back to wearing feminine clothes or growing my hair out; it was about stopping the act itself. I had to come out all over again, first as trans and then as detransitioned, which was a long and draining process. People were confused because I didn't change my appearance much, which just showed me how much "gender" is about performance.
Physically, going off testosterone was a process. It’s been shocking to see how much my body has changed back to looking more female over time. My body fat redistributed, my muscle mass decreased, and my skin softened. I had some laser hair removal, but some hair remains. I don't look exactly like I did before I started T, and that's okay. I've had to learn to accept this new body as my home, even with the reminders of the physical changes.
The physical consequences of surgery are real. I had top surgery and the surgeon charged extra to reattach the nipples. Even so, I have permanent nerve damage. I have numbness, loss of sensation, and sometimes pain in that area. I really don't care about having nipples anymore; it's the loss of feeling that is the real reminder. I feel a sense of guilt now about my flat chest, knowing that other women don't have the luxury of just putting on a t-shirt without thought. Because of that, I refuse to show my chest publicly.
I have a lot of complicated feelings. I’ve actually tried to transition twice, and both times I detransitioned. I still sometimes miss testosterone, which I know is a controversial thing to say, but it's my reality. I know I am female, but my relationship with my body is not simple.
Questioning the ideas behind my transition was essential for my detransition. I had to really think about what womanhood means. I had to realize that I am already a woman, and that I don't need to change my body to fit a stereotype. The same sexist ideas that made me want to transition could have pulled me back in if I didn't confront them.
Now, I just try to be confidently myself. I don't bother correcting strangers if they misgender me because it's too emotionally draining. The bathroom situation is still stressful because I get stares in both bathrooms. My diet has become very important to my well-being; I follow a strict carnivore diet that has eliminated my joint pain and inflammation and given me a lot of energy.
I don't have regrets in a simple way. I regret the permanent physical changes, like the nerve damage from surgery. But the journey itself led me to a place where I could stop performing and just be who I am. I desisted from a harmful ideology that was causing me suffering. My main thought on gender now is that the concept of beauty itself can be our enemy if we don't define it as just being who we are.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 23 | Started taking testosterone (T) |
| 24 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy) |
| 25 | Stopped testosterone after 18 months |
| 26 | (Present) Living as a detransitioned female |
Top Comments by /u/onethelight:
I always wondered what happened to KyFord23. She was the coolest FTM on the internet with more views than pretty much anyone else and quality content for 2009. Her transition was about as “perfect” as it could go, but one day a few years later, poof... all videos deleted.
This is so true. And poetic and succinct.
Truth for me, you learn to accept the new planet as your only home and get used to the tragedy sadly, constantly reminded of course of the physical pain (for me, anyway), discomfort, itchiness, numbest, and the feeling of occupying a space so foreign.
Mens T-shirt’s are now easier to wear. That’s about the only positive for me. I feel guilty that women with breasts don’t have the luxury of wearing a T shirt sometimes that fits their breasts. For this reason I refuse to ever publicly show my chest until all women can. Ymmv
Bras are inherently unhealthy for the body. The elastic cuts off circulation and reduces elasticity. After not wearing one for a couple years it was a complete shock with how uncomfortable it was and my grandma said “that’s because you’re not used to them” which indicates to me that we also tolerate unnecessary pain. Also bras are a scam and we shouldn’t feel obligated to wear them to be “acceptable”.
So yeah to reiterate- I follow a strict carnivore diet. I would like to gain weight but it requires a lot more eating. I highly recommend this diet. The amount of fat I consume is 110grams a day (yes, more than a whole stick of butter! Fat does not make you fat. Sugar does. Fat is fuel when you are fat adapted. Join the world carnivore tribe on FB for more info.) the cholesterol in fat is necessary for proper hormone production, among many other benefits.
My body loves carnivore. I can move freely and with ease. I have lots of energy. I do not suffer from joint pain or inflammation anymore. I am super healthy! I don’t even weight lift. If I did, while eating more, I’m sure I could gain.
I would just be aware that the same sexist stereotypical behaviors that probably made you want to transition in the first place could come back and make you want to transition again. I would question those things that you think womanhood is about. You are already Woman.
it sounds like you have been seriously thinking there might be other issues to consider. I have tried to transition twice, both times "detrains"ing and I still miss T. These days, I know I'm female, but I have a very complicated relationship with my body and wanting to take T sometimes. I know that is controversial, but it's reality for me.
Change your mindset about “ugly”. life is not about being an object that should be praised or doted on for some characteristic that is actually entirely not our choice. “beauty must be defined as what we are, or the concept itself becomes our enemy” -crimethinc.
Yes. The surgeon charged more to reattach the nipple. Even then, reattachment does not bring back nerve damage. Yes I do have numbness and loss of sensation and sometimes even pain in that area. It’s healing more and more all the time. I really don’t care whether I have nipples.
my theory is that it will, eventually, because technically FTMs start out with "feminine" faces and with enough years of testosterone, most look pretty damn male. Although, if you were expecting to look like way you did before, then no, you will not look like that at all. Im FTMTF and I don't look the same either.
This is such an important discussion! The only thing I can contribute to the conversation is that I’m currently trying to get my Italian dual citizenship and I learned that Italy will only allow your birth name on their passport, ever. Even for US women who have their last names changed here for marriage will have another passport for Italy with their birth name. Interesting how Italy does not seem to care about trans stuff.