This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's posts are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent. They detail a specific journey of detransition/desisting rooted in internalized misogyny, express complex and evolving feelings about gender roles, and share relatable personal anecdotes (e.g., their mother's hysterectomy). The language is natural, with casual phrasing and emotional resonance that is difficult to fake. The perspective aligns with a genuine detransitioner/desister who is critically reflecting on their past decisions.
About me
I was born female and started identifying as male as a teenager because I thought being a woman was weak and something to be ashamed of. My entire transition was an attempt to escape that internalized misogyny instead of dealing with it. I deeply regret missing out on so many normal experiences, like going to prom as a girl. Now, I’ve stopped identifying as male and am learning to accept myself as a woman, even starting strength training to feel strong in my own body. I’m focused on unlearning those old beliefs and finally moving forward.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was born female, but for most of my teenage years, I identified and presented as male. Looking back, a huge part of it was that I had this backwards thinking that being a woman was somehow bad or something to be ashamed of. I had a lot of internalized misogyny. My greatest fear back then was to be perceived as weaker, and I thought that becoming a man would make me strong. It in fact didn't, and just made me do things I now regret.
I would go through all these mental gymnastics just so I could come to the conclusion, "I'm trans and I have to transition." Consciously, I was thinking there was no way I was going to live through life as a woman. But that was a sign I was wrong about my identity. Most of my "dysphoria" was actually rooted in that internalized misogyny. Instead of addressing it, I tried avoiding it by transitioning.
I feel like I missed out on a lot of normal teenage experiences because of this. I missed out on being a girl and learning her own style and experimenting during those teen years. I know I'm still young and can do all that now, but everyone else around me has already done that. I still feel a little bad about missing out on wearing a pretty pink dress and getting all glammed up for prom. I'll never have an event like prom ever again.
A big turning point for me was realizing that being physically weaker isn't dependent on your gender. Even if I were a man, if I didn't work out, I still wouldn't be as strong as I wanted. It might be easier to gain muscle as a man, but it's not impossible for women. It's just harder, and that's something I have to deal with. So instead of trying to be a man, I'm now accepting being feminine and I've started strength training.
I also had to rethink my views on relationships. I used to think I wanted to be "the man" in a relationship because I was ashamed of being seen as "the girl." But I didn't think it was bad or shameful for other girls. When I dug deeper into my thought process, I found that I wanted to separate myself from other girls and I thought being treated by a man in a chivalrous way would make me weak and stereotypical. I've accepted that being "the girl" in a relationship isn't that bad or shameful and does not make me weak. Those things shouldn't be gendered anyway.
Part of what made me stop identifying as trans was realizing I don't have to label every single part of me. We are all nuanced and complex human beings, and it's impossible to find a label for every little thing that we are.
I am not anti-transition, but I strongly believe other mental health issues should be addressed before deciding to transition. I think transitioning should be a last resort. The first approach to gender dysphoria could be similar to how people approach body dysmorphia. Of course people will be stubborn and say that won't work, the same way people with body dysmorphia would insist they really are ugly. But I think other options for relieving gender dysphoria and leading to sex acceptance should be explored first.
I do have regrets about my transition. I regret the time I lost and the experiences I missed out on by trying to be someone I wasn't. I regret not addressing my internalized misogyny head-on instead of trying to escape from it. My thoughts on gender now are that it's a very complex thing, but for me, it was rooted in a problem I had with the sex I was born into, not a need to actually be the opposite sex. I'm now focused on accepting myself as a woman and unlearning all those negative beliefs I had.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-17 | Identified and presented as male. |
| 17 | Began to question my transition and realize it was rooted in internalized misogyny. |
| 18 | Stopped identifying as male and began to socially detransition. |
| 18 | Started accepting being feminine and began strength training. |
Top Comments by /u/onlyegggs:
my mom had a total hysterectomy due to complications during pregnancy, its been 20 years since she got it and she's been taking hormone pills. there's been no major complications related to it, other than occasional mood swings from hormone imbalance. but i think thats been a problem for her even before the hysto. you'll be okay !
i am not anti transition, but i think other mental health issues should be addressed before deciding to transition. i think transitioning should be a last resort, the first approach to gender dysphoria could be similar to how people approach body dysmorphia. of course people will be stubborn and say "that won't work, i really am another gender" the same way people with body dysmorphia would say "i really am ugly"
basically i don't think transitioning is bad, especially if it genuinely improves the life of a person, but i think other options of relieving gender dysphoria and leading to sex acceptance should be explored first.
being physically weaker isnt dependent on your gender, i also fear this and am starting strength training and going to the gym. even if i were a man, if i didnt do that i still wouldnt be as strong as i wanted. although it would be easier to gain muscle as a man, its not impossible for women, maybe harder, and thats just something i have to deal with.
parts of my childhood contributed to me thinking that being a woman is somehow bad or something to be ashamed of. if you are the same way, it's possible to take steps to unlearn that and accept being a woman is not as bad as you initially thought.
i feel like you can't group gender, race, and age into the same thing, they're just not comparable.
anyone, no matter the race or age of your parents, can be born either male, female, or intersex. is the same true with race? assuming there's no infidelity involved, if the parents are asian, the child will be asian. there is no chance the child will be white or black or any other race. but there is a chance for the child to be male, female, or intersex.
don't even get me started with trans-age. time moves forward at a constant pace for everyone on earth. unless people invent time travel then maybe that can be real.
i actually do relate to 3, i would go through mental gymnastics just so i could come to the conclusion "im trans and i have to transition" because consciously i was thinking there's no way im going to live through life as a woman (due to internalized misogyny)
that's also a sign i was wrong about my identity, most of my "dysphoria" was rooted in internalized misogyny. instead of addressing it, i tried avoiding it.
yeah, i identified and presented as male for most of my teenage years and i feel like i missed out on being a girl learning her style and experimenting during teen years. i know i'm still young and i can do all that now, but everyone else around me has already done that ! i still feel a little bad about missing out on wearing a pretty pink dress and getting all glammed up to prom. i'll never have an event like prom ever again !
it seems like u dated people bc you liked the thought of dating, not bc you liked the person romantically .. don't feel pressured to date people bc everyone around you has, it's completely normal to not date. u want to feel what the movies and songs and everything about love feels like, but you won't be able to feel the real thing if you're forcing it.
what about being "the girl" repulses you, why is it humiliating ? if you think about another girl having a man who opens doors for her and pays for her meals, what do you think about her ?
i used to be the same way, thinking i wanted to be "the man" in the relationship because i was ashamed of being seen as "the girl". but i didn't think it was bad or shameful for other girls to be seen as "the girl" in a relationship. when i really started thinking about why that was the case, basically, it was because i wanted to separate myself from other girls and that i thought being treated by a man that way would make me weak and stereotypical. i didn't consciously think that, but when i dug deeper into my thought process, that's what i found. i accepted that being "the girl" in a relationship isn't that bad or shameful and does not make me weak. but of course, i still occasionally hold the door for my boyfriend and give him gifts and pay for meals and such even if that's the "man" thing to do. and, none of those things should be gendered, and none of those things make you "weak" or "strong".
about the sexuality thing, this might not be too useful to u tbh, but it's also okay to not have that figured out ! it's okay to not have a label and just be who you are. part of what made me desist was realizing i don't have to label every single part of me. we are all nuanced and complex human beings, and it's going to be impossible to find a label for every little thing that we are.
sorry for the long ass reply, i related to some and had a lot to say xD
my greatest fear back then was to be percieved as weaker, and with my backwards thinking i thought being a man would make me strong. it in fact didn't and just made me do things i now regret. so instead, i'm now accepting being feminine, and starting strength training !