Tbh, HRT side effects are similar to those of drugs, have you ever experienced personality changes after using pharmaceutical drugs? HRT can have similar effects and it changes personality, lol, but no one tell you this in trans subs.

Cross-sex HRT affects the brain negatively, even contraceptive birth pills affects the brain negatively, I feel like stopping HRT is making me more intelligent, giving me life back.

Not to mention how unhealthily skinny I was.. but i also was actively using nicotine and smoking a ton of weed the whole time I was on testosterone. That made eating really hard despite the fact I smoked weed. I’d get full real fast and start to feel sick if I tried to eat more. Had a stimulant phase while on it too, so that explains why I weighed absolutely nothing. My lack of body fat in pictures from that timeframe (October 2022) creeps me out honestly.

All signals that this is bad for your body.

But currently I respect having gender dysphoria.

I have it myself.

Desiring to be a woman is okay, I will keep my female stuff that is not HRT, they comfort me, but I know it is an impossible dream, I'm better keeping a fiendly attitude toward gender dysphoria itself, I'm better not trying to deny the fact I always wished I was feminine and womanly as a cis woman, but HRT and transitioning do fuc up a person's life, I'm better without those.

IDK, I feel so unsafe being alive, it has manifested in absurd ways such as actually being violent, trying to kill myself, isolating myself, doing risk stuff, pissing in bottles... keep transitioning even thought I realized how it was messing up my situation even more... I was in denial. But I feel so much better without HRT, physically, mentally, it is not even transphobia, lmao, I started feeling bad yesterday after taking E again, I tried blaming transphobia and developing a loving mind toward all this transition stuff, well, it failed, I woke up with diarrhea and feeling like shit, I was feeling good without those, so good, but my mind always feel this constant state of unsafety... And I needed more, I needed answers, changes, but HRT is shit, 😣, I am glad I feel traumatized about the whole trans stuff, this wil keep my safe from that at least ❤

It is so common that biological males be feminine during childhood, but grow up to be masculine. I'm pretty sure you are just like many other young men around the world, you had a hard time adapting to those masculinizing changes, adapting to your adult life, but that is still possible.

If you choose to transition now and embrace all the damage and pain that comes with it, stuff that is usually well hidden in trans spaces, you still won't know whetter if you have choosed to not transition, if you would have outgrown your discomfort with your body.

And the body a trans person is incomplete, it feels like being made in a lab, there is less light, less life in it, infertility. It is a zombie body compared to the body of a non-trans person and people will notice it.

Not only is that transgender thing a scam, but It damages our sexual organs, sexuality, social life, financial life, health and It throws trans people in despair.

It is normal you have a hard time quitting T, I believe you have to undergo something similar to andropause... I am suffering from going cold turkey, but overall I feel better, it is just that the regret turn into desperation some days😔.

I don't think it is the testosterone, but the fact that for you it is a cross-sex hormone.

I personally experienced worsening of mental health due to Estrogen, I'm male and T gel actually make me feel like healing.

We need limits when it comes to gender, because in the reality, our body is an essential thing, and giving cross-sex hormones to people, in reality, is a perversio , a practice that harms lived.

Experiencing bullying as a male, due to males that are more masculine than us, is a common experience.

There are infantile adults that compare themselves with male kids and feel so superior and inflated for being more masculine, they manage to treat you like shit, for not being a man, well, we were just kids, lol, it is ridiculous but it is super common.

They might feel, but they are not, it is painful to watch, but they're just overthinking.

Transness is made up by humans, yes,it exists, but only in the imagination of people, only in trans spaces, only in trans's allies heads, those who are more tuned with a solid, material reality, refuse to aknowledge transness.

I am not found of your text, you don't sound like you respect yourself as a man.

We men have a strenght deep down that we can't trade for a woman's unique powers, you need to respect it, only then you will be respected by both women and men.

People actively supporting your trans identity are only messing with you, no one sees you as a real female.

I have used HRT, my skin got soft, I got feminine, etc, and the only people that respectfully respect me affirming myself as a female, only did so in the name that I had enough balls to call myself a female, lol, it was never like, the natural support that women give to each other, it was never like, the interest that straight men had for women, all affirmation they gave me was directed at the small ammount of self-respect I had for my own masculinity, for being ballsy enough to say I'm a woman.

No one who loved me supported my transition. My father, my mother, the people that liked me IRL, they all awaited the momment I would learn to respect myself. I had a bad friend online that would use my pronouns and share degrading trans stuff, but that was it, even that person that used to identify as a trans person would come to his senses once in a while and suggest that I should detransition, this transition stuff is harmful, it is a degrading fantasy of self-harm, you take joy in betraying your fellow humans.

Give up affirming yourself as a woman, you're only a joke and a fool to your friends and ppl. For real, that was my experience, I noticed that the only people that "respected" my pronouns, were my enemies and they felt pleasure in seeing how much of a joke I was.

It is all evil, this trans stuff, no one is gonna respect you until you learn to respect your true strenghts and traits and that is deep down in your being, won't change. You can only attack it through HRT and surgeries, but you can't change to female.

You are deffective in your mindset, but as you see, I view you as a man. You won't ever achieve success as a woman, you can't only do that as a man. You are strong, capable.

The world is not cruel to men, it is a lie, we have so much strenght, the world is flattering to men. You are supposed to hug your stinking male friends after they give you a punch, because you are beautifully male, don't be a bitch, or if you do, at least be aware that you are doing that because you have issues.

Why do you say it's always been a problem?

This is not true.

The problem was never living as male, the problem was our deranged way of seeing things, our belief in transness, our failure to change and live happy lives.

Rough true, but I choose to accept the fact I'm an pure idiot that believed in transness over continuing caving my grave in this shithole