This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments show:
- Personal, consistent details: They share a multi-year timeline of taking estrogen, detransitioning, and dealing with specific, long-term physical changes (fertility, fat distribution, voice).
- Complex, nuanced views: They express uncertainty, regret, and ambivalence, even considering retransitioning. This complexity is not typical of a simplistic agenda-driven account.
- Natural language: The writing style is conversational, includes personal asides, and evolves naturally over the three-year comment history.
The passion and criticism present are consistent with a genuine individual grappling with a difficult and personal experience.
About me
I started taking estrogen because I thought it would fix my porn addiction by lowering my sex drive, but that was a terrible reason to change my body. After four years, I stopped and have spent the last three years detransitioning, but my body hasn't fully returned to how it was and I'm now sterile. I've come to accept that I am male, but I feel stuck in the middle and don't fit in anywhere. I'm even considering retransitioning because I can't find a community that understands my complicated situation. I just wish there was a space for people like me who are still figuring it all out.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I was really struggling with a porn addiction. I see now that a big part of why I was so drawn to the idea of transitioning was because taking estrogen completely killed my sex drive. At the time, that felt like a solution, but I’ve learned that’s not a healthy reason to change your whole body. The addiction was a real problem that was controlling my life and it definitely influenced my decision to transition.
I was on estrogen for about four years. For me, the effects weren't some magical cure. It just gave me small breasts, made me infertile very quickly, and lowered my sex drive. I have a lot of regrets about taking it. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have done it. The idea of having to take a medication for the rest of my life to maintain a state that wasn't even making me happy is something I don't want anymore.
Coming off of it has been its own challenge. I’ve been detransitioning for about three years now. My body is trying to go back to how it was, but it’s a slow process. I started producing testosterone again, which I’m thankful for, but my levels are still really low for a male. I lost a lot of weight without even trying, but I still have this stubborn fat distribution, like love handles and a pouch, that feels female and I really hate it. I’ve been working out my obliques hard to try and fix it, with some success, but a layer remains. I’ve had to look into diets, cutting out stuff like soy and seed oils that can affect hormones, and trying to eat things that boost testosterone.
The infertility is the part that hurts my soul the most. I’m completely sterile, and I’m really hoping it’s not permanent. My primary care doctor is hopeful that fertility recovery treatment could be an option, but it’s something I worry about constantly.
My thoughts on gender have changed a lot. I don't really see the purpose of it all anymore. I think I am transgender, but in the original Latin sense of the word, meaning "beyond." I feel like I'm beyond gender. But I've accepted that I am male, and that's okay. I don't need to change my body to fit an idea.
I even successfully trained my voice to sound female when I was transitioning, so much so that people would gender me correctly just from my voice. After I detransitioned, it was really hard to shake that off for a few months; it had become so natural.
Lately, I’ve been feeling stuck in the middle. I detransitioned three years ago after four years of transitioning, and now I’m even considering retransitioning, but I’m not sure. I have friends who are both trans and detrans, and it feels like most communities, online especially, want to push you to one side or the other. They give you a prescribed answer instead of listening to your actual, complicated situation. I don't think places like Reddit are very good for these nuanced conversations anymore. I just wish there was an in-between space for people like me who are still figuring it out.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| (Not Stated) | (Approx. 2017) | Started taking estrogen. |
| (Not Stated) | (Approx. 2021) | Stopped estrogen after ~4 years. |
| (Not Stated) | 2024 | Have been detransitioned for 3 years. Considering retransitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/paleosiberian:
i just don’t see the purpose. if i could go back in time i wouldn’t have taken E. it doesn’t help w anything but reducing sex drive, growing small boobs, and becoming infertile v quickly. and you have to keep taking it for the rest of your life. that’s not what i want anymore. maybe you are transgender, i still think i am, but in the latin sense of trans, “beyond,” i am beyond gender, but i am still a male, and i’ve accepted that about myself.
100% agree, this was also why i was so enamored w/ the initial transition as well, it completely killed my sex drive. but in reality that’s not what it should take for you to stop watching porn. porn addiction is real and can take over your life, it probably influenced your transition to a certain extent (i know it did mine). try to stop watching pornography by any means necessary. see someone about it who works w addiction. it’s really really bad man. i have the same thing. it’s not easy but there comes a time in every mans life when that’s what you have to do. it’s not fair to yourself or the women in your life.
i’m not sure if genital size will ever really go back. i’ve been off E for a few months after ~4 years of it and all i’ve noticed is fat redistribution and getting hairier so far (i’m still producing T - thank god - but less than a healthy male probably should). It’s probably best to make peace w the genital thing, women care more about confidence in regards to that stuff. otherwise your best bet is probably just any supplements men regularly take for that. good luck! try not to get too overwhelmed by it, the human body is a powerful thing and should bounce back into what it was meant to be in no time
How long have you been off HRT? I’ve asked about weight loss a few times in this subreddit and I think it’s a combination of some stuff being permanent, and some stuff being temporary. I have the same problems with love handles, but I’ve seen some success working out really hard on my obliques. I do obliques exercises at least 3 times a week. Still, a layer remains. I think I would ask what exactly they’re removing. Maybe hold out on the surgery and see if it’s possible to accomplish some of these things with an exercise regimen and diet. As for diet, basically cutting out all estrogenous foods and ingredients like seed oils, soy and all nuts, fish, etc (look up Ray Peat for a more comprehensive list of no-no foods, but don’t get too freaked out by how complicated it is), and taking/eating things that are shown to boost testosterone, like ashwagandha, ginger/ginseng, coconut oil, etc.
I just want to throw myself in here as MtFtM and say that while I was transitioning, I successfully voice trained, so much so that even when I didn’t initially “pass” to someone, they would gender me as female after hearing my voice. I have a natural male voice that I’ve fallen back into, but even a few months after detransitioning, it was really hard to shake off. Which I think should be a motivating factor - once you do it enough it sticks with you without you trying.
I wish there was some in between. I detransed 3 years ago, transed 4 years before that. I’m considering retransitioning, but I may not. I’m friends with trans and de trans people, and I think most of us probably are (especially if you’re actually homosexual). It seems like if I were to talk to either sub about it, I’d get an answer one way or the other, not something related to my actual situation. I don’t think Reddit is a conducive space for this kind of forum.
has your testosterone bounced back at all? i was on E for around the same amount of time and i’ve been off it for ~6 months, im still producing testosterone but at really low levels. i lost a lot of weight in the time i’ve been off it without doing much though. still have that little female pouch though, i’d like to lose that
I didn’t know there was a ban for that, that seems silly and one-sided. It would be a shame for detrans to turn into a cult the same way asktransgender is, I found a lot of subtlety and nuance in this community and that kind of ban encourages the opposite behavior. Yes, I need to see an endo, I need to do all these things, I was looking for advice from trans and detrans males, lived experience, not this kind of general response.
not exactly sure, i wasn’t taking hormones consistently all this year but i’d say it’s been at least 3 months since the last time i took a shot of estrogen. my PCP seems hopeful that i could do fertility recovery treatment, at the moment i’m completely sterile. i hope it’s not irreversible, it really hurts my soul to think it may be. i’m going to try to see an endo soon but it’s hard to find one that takes me insurance.