This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "paperpigeons" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments display a high degree of internal consistency, personal history, and nuanced, first-hand knowledge of the detransition/desistance experience. The user shares specific, plausible details about their own medical history (2 years on testosterone, starting at 17), personal struggles (guilt, dating, social re-integration), and practical advice (binding with KT tape). Their perspective is complex and evolves in conversation with others, which is typical of a genuine person engaged in a community. The passion and political views expressed are consistent with the stated context of detransitioners who may be angry or hold strong opinions about gender ideology.
About me
I started transitioning as a teenager because I was a masculine girl who felt pressured by feminine expectations and was influenced by online communities. I took testosterone for over two years and liked the changes, but I eventually realized I was trying to escape misogyny, not become a man. I stopped because I felt I was turning my back on womanhood and wanted to accept myself as a butch lesbian. I’m okay with my permanent changes and now live openly as a gender nonconforming woman. My journey taught me that gender is a social construct, and I’ve found peace in just being myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was a teenager. I was always a masculine girl who liked things society said were for boys, and I never felt comfortable with the expectations placed on women. I hated my breasts and felt a lot of discomfort with puberty. I now believe a lot of this was due to the pressure to be feminine and the sensory issues that came with it, as I am autistic. Wearing makeup, having long hair, and female clothing were sensory hell for me. I also spent a lot of time online and was influenced by the communities I was in, which made transitioning seem like the right answer.
I started socially transitioning around age 14. I began using a male name and pronouns, and I started binding my chest. I used binders for a while, but they really messed up my ribs and back, so I switched to KT tape, which was much better and didn't interfere with my breathing. At 17, I started taking testosterone. I was on T for just over two years. I liked the changes it gave me—a deeper voice, more muscle, body hair, and some stubble. I had always been a butch lesbian and appreciated these traits even before T.
But eventually, I realized I was living a lie. I felt guilty about turning my back on womanhood and felt a lack of solidarity with other women. I understood that a lot of my desire to transition was an escape from misogyny and the rigid roles forced on women. There is no such thing as feeling like a man or a woman on the inside; it's all based on social expectations. I came to see that my female body is just my body; it exists to keep me alive, not to fit into any roles. I stopped taking testosterone when I was around 19 or 20 because I didn't want to hide who I really was anymore—a gender nonconforming gay woman.
I don't regret my transition. It was a part of my journey that helped me learn about myself, my politics, and my friendships. The changes from T are permanent, but I'm okay with them. I'm 5'9" and with my deep voice and masculine traits, I'm often read as male, but in my social circles, I just introduce myself as a butch lesbian. Most people get it after a while. I kept my chosen name because I prefer it.
I never had any surgeries. I considered top surgery but found ways to manage my chest dysphoria with binding and tape. I'm glad I didn't go through with it because I've come to accept my body as it is. I also never had serious health complications from T, though being on it long-term was causing me some physical pain, which was another reason I stopped.
My thoughts on gender are that it's not innate. It's a social construct built around stereotypes and roles. Women are socialized from birth to be nurturing and caring, and men to be aggressive, but that doesn't mean those traits are biological. I believe in abolishing these harmful roles and just letting people be who they are without labels.
I'm now comfortable identifying as a lesbian and living as a gender nonconforming woman. I plan to adopt kids with my girlfriend in the future. My journey was confusing at times, but it led me to a place of self-acceptance.
Here is a timeline of my transition and detransition events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started social transition (male name/pronouns), began chest binding |
| 17 | Started testosterone (T) |
| 19 | Stopped testosterone |
| 20 | Socially detransitioned, began living openly as a butch lesbian |
Top Comments by /u/paperpigeons:
Probably a few things at play, a lot of peer reviews studies show males are more likely to detrans, and there are more males transitioning, these are all however a bit outdated (past the 5 year ideal) but you can imagine there’d be more detrans males.
Without an actual r/detrans demographic thing- like what percent of what users have what flair, we can’t really say, but I’m gonna guess: 1: detrans men can re-assimilate back into society easier than detrans women usually, at least just from a hrt perspective. As a result more detrans women may seek community than detrans men
2: female detransitioners are very politicised, more so than detrans males (although they still face wayyy too much shit), we’re very much expected to give our support to the trans side of the debate and the conservatives and gender abolitionist/anti transition left (e.g. radfems). I think we’re probably pretty likely to seek out discussion spaces as freedom from that insanity because it follows us everywhere. Neither male nor female detransitioners can breathe without expected political action but if you look up detransiton on news sites you’re going to see women sensationalised with an agenda more than men.
3: males are shown in studies to over estimate the amount of speaking in groups of women, presuming women to be the most dominant when it’s about an equal 50/50 split. I don’t think it’s a 50/50 split rn but it could be that it’s being over interpreted here too. 95% seems very generous I’d probably put it at like 60% lolol.
4: misogyny. We are also way more likely to actually pass as male when we transition. Passing as an MTF requires a lot more work unless one was put on lupron at a young age. This created a view into how it is to live as male that I know made me and many other detrans women find ourselves take more interest in feminist politics. Having people go from treating me like an incompetent idiot (and/or a sex object) to a normal respectable human, and then back to an incompetent idiot again when I came out socially as detrans has been a wild ride.
Agree w the points abt ftms not being observed as a threat cause yeah tbf. Average women is not a physical threat to a man. But also we tend to pass a lot more than mtf individuals, so entering the men’s bathroom doesn’t bat an eyelid. I’ve been pissing in there since I was 14 cause I wouldn’t get harassed or even noticed in there but I’d be chased out of the women’s the second I stepped in (was just gnc, didn’t start hormones till 17), still do it now. Whereas mtfs in women’s spaces are a lot less likely to pass and pose a significant threat so it’s a hot topic because it’s terrifying and noticeable to a lot of women in their lived experiences (at least in western countries).
I wouldn’t be surprised if part of the overlap is performed femininity being so uncomfortable for those of us with sensory issues. Long hair can set off sensory issues, makeup is sensory hell for obvious reasons, female clothes are usually tighter fit and with less covered internal seems because lower quality which causes a lot of issues, showing skin might be an issue for people who have issues with sun or wind, shaving is a sensory issue, skincare, the list is endless. The expectations placed on women are inherently unfriendly to sensory processing issues, including autism and ADHD. I never performed femininity because of this, and whilst I always had male friends (happened as I was seen as ‘one of the boys’/not a woman’ due to misogyny saying if I was not feminine I was not female, and also just preferred ‘boys toys’ and ‘boys games’), I honestly think that had a major part to play in why I thought I was ‘male inside’. Realising I was female innately isn’t why I detransitoned but still, I can attribute sensory issues to a lot of things
Pregnancy is a traumatic and dangerous process, and the money involved in surrogacy is… pretty poor. It’s equivalent to selling organs expect the buyer dictates your life for 9 months. I understand the frustration at a body you seemingly don’t need, I’ve been there, but it’s still your body and it is keeping you alive. If you ultimately want to be a surrogate that’s fine, but I wouldn’t rush into it.
Also? A female body’s purpose is survival, not pregnancy. As a matter of fact women’s bodies try Pretty Fucking Hard to not support the baby, vaginal PH is spermicidal, the body will terminate pregnancy if times get tough, the foetus needs to literally build the placenta to protect against the women’s immune system because it views it as a parasitic foreign body (which. True. It doesn’t have the same dna and it is technically parasitic).
You do not exist with the body you have just to produce some random baby, and you should only do such if you want to for you, not because society says to do so. You are so much more than what society says a woman and a woman’s body has to be, every woman is.
I hate to say but by definition she isn’t radfem. Radical feminism means root feminism, referring to sex as the basis of oppression. Radfems dont believe in gender as anything but a social construct, and consider a woman a female adult and a man a male adult, so by definition she is just a woman with some feminist politics.
Don’t sunk cost fallacy yourself if you’re genuinely unhappy, getting to a point where one can stealth as male isn’t easy but you did it, if you want to go back it is possible. Alternatively you can just like… come off hrt and stop caring how you’re perceived, that’s sorta my deal. I’m not unhappy on t but long term was causing me issues so I just dipped and now don’t put thought to it. I can’t speak for what’s best for you bc am not you, nor do I know your emotions, but if you’re unhappy you don’t have to continue living how you do
A mix. Being on lifelong meds isn’t ideal for me since I want to travel, but T was also causing physical pain so there’s transition being hard (was generally easier tho I just was read as an average het male). Most of it was just guilt tho, guilt over letting down other women, guilt over my lack of female solidarity. I feel I have to detrans for womanhood reasons which sucks but oh well, I’d rather just do that since it’s no big deal than live forever in guilt. Plus dating ‘as a het man’ when I knew I was kinda a gay women did suck, I’d mostly date bi women who’d be offended when I acknowledged my sex despite it being pretty obvious as my romantic and sexual partner 🤔. I greatly enjoy appearing male though which doesn’t help 😭 we’ll reach a point of neutrality in time I’m sure
If it helps at all, there’s no such thing as feeling like a man or like a woman internally, that is, no such thing with a material basis in reality. Women and men can feel a million ways on the inside, and there’s no objective feeling tied to one or the other. It’s normal actually to not feel either on the inside, since anything aside from primary and secondary sex characteristics are just gender roles, things ascribed to biology to reinforce women’s subjugation.
Living as a man has a myriad of benefits, and is often easier than living as a detrans women if one passes. Testosterone is also just… an anabolic steroid, it impacts your metabolism and therefore a variety of other things, which can feel positive, it also has an addictive quality- any of these could be the reason you want to go back on it. Alternatively you could just be dysphoric, in which case yeah sometimes testosterone helps. Either way, all of these feelings aren’t abnormal or strange and I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it, hope you can reach a place of neutrality or comfort that works for you regardless though
No such thing as innately trans on the inside/not. It’s just a matter of what would make you happy in the long run, I’d say imagine all the complications of transitioning mtf being with you for life and sit with it for a bit to see how happy you’d feel pursing that. And also I guess don’t rush! Transition won’t run away from you if take time to think thoroughly abt it :]
Whilst you’re right it’s not easy being a flat chested women I’m sure, it’s not easy being a woman generally right now. This post if unintentional is well honestly insensitive to the suffering of women whom have regretted top surgery, if unintentional. Some women may feel distress over being A cup, I remember briefly feeling it as a girl due to teasing, it’s very different from the distress of having undergone an intense major surgery to get to that spot