This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's writing is nuanced, emotionally consistent, and shows deep personal reflection on their experiences with PCOS, body image, and societal pressures. Their passion and anger are contextually appropriate for a desister or ally discussing this topic. The account's behavior and content align with a genuine person.
About me
I'm a woman who felt deep unhappiness with my body starting at puberty, largely because of my PCOS and the constant pressure from society and media. I spent years hating being female, wishing I could escape the scrutiny and objectification that seemed to come with it. My journey was about realizing my struggle wasn't with being a woman, but with the internalized misogyny and impossible standards I was forced to live under. I now understand that a woman can be any shape and have any interests, and she is still valid. I've finally found peace by rejecting that self-hatred and accepting that the problem was never my body, but a world that makes it hard for women to just exist.
My detransition story
Looking back at my journey, I need to be clear that I never medically or socially transitioned. My experience is about how the pressures of being a woman in our society made me question my own identity and feel a deep unhappiness with my body. For a long time, I genuinely hated being female. I want to share this because I think it shows how easy it is to get confused when you’re constantly told there’s something wrong with how you naturally are.
My discomfort really started with puberty and the way society treats women’s bodies. I have PCOS, which means my body shape isn't what the fashion industry considers standard. Something as simple as shopping for clothes could become a day-long ordeal that ended in frustration and tears. I’d come home with nothing, feeling like my body was fundamentally wrong. In those moments, I’d wish I wasn’t a woman because it seemed like men had it so much easier. Their clothes are simpler to fit into, and they don't have to deal with the same constant scrutiny.
This feeling was fueled by the world around me. Everywhere I looked, there were ads telling me I needed to be thinner, smoother, younger. Swimsuit ads with models who looked nothing like me felt like a personal attack. TV and movies often reduced women to shallow stereotypes. It felt like my value was only in my appearance, and since my body didn’t fit the mold, I felt worthless. I associated being female with being helpless and only worthy if you were beautiful. This led to a lot of depression and low self-esteem.
I also want to talk about pornography. I believe the widespread consumption of porn has warped how people see women’s bodies, turning them into objects. It creates an impossible standard and, from what I’ve seen, can make women feel like they have to accept being seen in a degrading light. I’ve spoken to someone who transitioned partly to escape sexual trauma and harassment, and I can understand that desire to change your body to become invisible to that kind of abuse.
All of this made me question everything. If you’re a woman who doesn’t fit the feminine ideal—maybe you have some facial hair from PCOS, or you have more "masculine" interests—you’re constantly pushed to the margins. You’re told you’re not enough. For 20 years, I hated being a woman because I only saw the weakness and limitations society placed on it. Even my choice to be childfree has been met with dismissive attitudes from doctors, which just reinforced the feeling that my purpose was supposed to be about my body, not my mind.
I’ve come to realize that my struggle wasn’t with being female itself, but with the internalized misogyny and impossible standards I was forced to live under. My journey wasn't about transitioning, but about overcoming the self-hatred that society planted in me. I don’t regret not transitioning because I now understand that a woman is just an adult human female. She can be any shape, have any personality, and wear any clothes. She doesn’t have to perform a certain version of femininity to be valid.
My regret is that I spent so long believing there was something wrong with me, when the problem was with a world that refuses to let women exist comfortably in their own skin. If women were allowed to just be, without judgment and with clothing made for real bodies, I believe far fewer people would feel the need to transition in the first place.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Puberty | Started experiencing discomfort with my female body due to PCOS and societal pressure. |
| Throughout my teens and 20s | Felt intense hatred toward being a woman, fueled by depression, low self-esteem, and constant exposure to unrealistic beauty standards. |
| 20s | Began to understand my feelings as a reaction to internalized misogyny and societal pressure, not an issue with my sex itself. |
| Present (Adult) | Came to accept my body and identity as a woman, recognizing that the problem lies with societal norms, not my biology. |
Top Comments by /u/pcosthrowaway25828:
Coming back to respond to this post.
So, Mr. Powers, i see you're pushing a narrative here that may be quite dangerous. You come here to say you support detrans people, yet in the comments you reinforce the idea that gender is determined by biological aspects. I want to offer an example from my perspective because I think some people could relate.
I am a "cis" woman with pcos. I don't have high testosterone, but i do have an unconventional body shape for someone that eats well and excercises. I also am a very feminine woman. I just went shopping for clothes and since my body doesn't meet the regular standards, i spent 3 hours looking for clothes that fit, and came home empty handed. I'll be honest, i strongly wished that i wasn't a woman at that moment. Men's clothes are much easier to fit into and they have it generally much easier when it comes to clothing. And they also don't have to hear in the changing rooms fellow men complaining about their body size, or crying, or being upset something doesn't fit as frequently. I've consoled crying friends in changing rooms because they hated their body multiple times.
So Dr Powers, was my it my pcos speaking, my excessive androgens and my lack of period, or was the fact that today in 2020 people just don't understand how a female body comes in thousands different shapes and sizes and (at least where i live) don't offer options to women who are shaped differently than what a lot of men and a lot of industries would like them to be?
Because I'm sure of one thing. If women were allowed to exist comfortably in their body, find clothes that fit often, be allowed to dress how they want without being judged if they aren't feminine enough, be allowed to have a medical condition and not be mocked or called men for having it, being able to live life without seeing every hour at minimum an ad about anti wrinkle cream or swimsuit commercials with models the industry considers to be the only kind of beautiful allowed, and seeing movies where female characters are reduced to dumb bimbos whose only function is to be beautiful,TRUST ME, the transitions would decrease dramatically.
So Mr. Powers, either elaborate your idea that gender is biological, or think a bit more critically. There are absolutely differences between men and women, but i highly doubt they are gender roles, or stereotypes.
Hey, thanks for commenting. I can't really comment on your experience because it's simply something that you live, and I completely respect that, but I have to heavily disagree with your thoughts on media. Despite things being "better" than what they used to be, the social treatment of women could be much better.
Things like the body positive movement for example, while very good as a principle, still push the idea that a woman's most valuable asset is her body. We also have to consider the absolute surge and change when it comes to pornography. I'm not sure how many people watch it exactly, but I'm pretty sure that with all the available content and peer pressure, most people nowadays in western countries consume it. When a woman doesn't like it, she's told "it's normal and healthy to look at it" and that her boyfriend needs it, and I'm pretty sure a lot of women secretly hate their partners having to watch other women being humiliated on camera. The perception of the female body really changed, with all of this content, a lot of young people are being subconsciously told that women enjoy that (or you should enjoy it if you're a woman), that women are hairless dolls with makeup ready to go, always.
So you have to take into consideration all of the facts i already mentioned, plus pornography, and sexual harassment too. Unfortunately most women experience it no matter what they do. For example, since you mention your chest (not saying that this is true for you) many women born with a large chest for example do receive harassment because a large chest is not easy to hide. So i can understand, when it happens, when a woman starts to hate her body and wants to change it in a more masculine way to escape harassment and abuse. I did speak with a person that unfortunately transitioned because of sexual trauma along these lines.
I also suggest that you really observe the world around you, i may live in a very different reality compared to you, but when i get out of the house i already see a big swimsuit ad plastered in my face, where a very thin leggy model tells me "you'd love to look like me if you wore this swimsuit, but you don't!" Not to mention tv and the internet, or people commenting on your appearance constantly.
This doctors very vague comments need to be discussed because they are in my opinion very dangerous. I'm speaking about women because I'm one and I'm not gonna chime in speaking for men too much. But saying that "having a gender means having a healthy endocrine system" is simply confusing and a very bold claim. This male doctor will never know what it feels like to be a woman with pcos. Many times women with pcos are extremely confused on their identity because of outside influences. If you're constantly told you're ugly, not feminine enough, maybe you grow facial hair too, and maybe have more masculine interests, you are lilely bound to get extremely confused.
I feel that internalized misoginy is a much bigger problem than we realize. I want to ask a question which you don't have to respond to, but could be an occasion for thought for everyone me included. What if, since you were a very small child, periods were treated like a normal female bodily function, women weren't only considered for their beauty but for their worth too, and were represented as people with different thoughts, and dignity? I asked myself this, because for 20 years of life i hated, and still don't enjoy, being a woman. I only found weakness in that word, i literally associated being female to being helpless, useless and only worthy if your body was good enough. The fact I'm childfree and treated like trash by doctors for being so only reinforces that.
This is why i ask this doctor to elaborate because by his accord until now , I'm not a woman, or at least not a "full woman" considering my thoughts and my hormonal disorder, and i feel it's dangerous. A woman can be, and should be, just an adult human female with any clothing and any personality.
Sorry for the length.
I still feel guilty for posting in this community as im just an ally, so I'm going to keep "quiet" in the comments as I don't really belong here. I'm happy that you found this interesting and invite you to read my second-last comment because it pretty much sums up my beliefs on this matter.
I believe his studies when it comes to female endocrine disorders are limited too, as he's saying "pcos is genetic" when in fact, we don't know if it is, as many women don't have relatives with it. Heck we don't know what causes it. A misinformed doctor is not someone to trust in my honest opinion.
Thanks for the link, they found this gene though in only a little more than half families, Over 62 families. We still cannot say it's genetic unfortunately. And the big obnoxious "women's infertility" made me cringe, as if it was the only issue lol. Just my pet peeve though.