This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced experience: The user shares specific, relatable details about their own journey (e.g., realizing they were comfortable being a man but liked women's clothes).
- Consistent, developed philosophy: The advice centers on a coherent theme of self-acceptance, caution, and exploring non-medical solutions first.
- Natural language: The writing includes conversational tones, humor ("haha"), and informal phrasing ("I dunno," "🤷") that are difficult for bots to replicate convincingly.
- Acknowledgment of complexity: The user recognizes nuance, such as the difference between genuine dysphoria and other conditions, and even admits their own past biases ("I think I was a little guilty of this at first").
The passion and criticism of the "pro-trans reddits" are consistent with a genuine desister's perspective, not a sign of inauthenticity.
About me
I started feeling confused and thought my discomfort meant I wasn't supposed to be a man. I spent time in online communities where I felt rushed and pressured to consider medical transition. I realized I was actually comfortable being a man and just needed to accept myself outside of traditional masculine boxes. My journey taught me that the answer was in changing how I saw myself, not my body. I'm now living comfortably as a man and believe it's crucial to explore other issues before considering permanent medical changes.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started with a lot of confusion and a deep desire to just feel okay with myself. For a long time, I thought my discomfort meant I wasn't supposed to be a man. I remember as a kid having thoughts that I now know are pretty common for boys to have, wondering what it would be like to be a girl. I got really fixated on the idea that maybe I was in the wrong body.
I started spending a lot of time in online trans communities, and I felt a lot of pressure there. It seemed like any question or doubt was met with immediate encouragement to start medical transition. If you said you were confused, people would instantly tell you that you were trans and should get hormones as soon as possible. It felt really rushed and like there was no room to just be unsure. I almost got swept up in that. I realized I was comfortable being a man; I just had some interests, like sometimes dressing in women's clothes, that made me feel like I didn't fit the traditional "box" of masculinity. I learned that you can be a man and define what that means for yourself.
A big part of my turning point was focusing on self-acceptance. I had to learn to find myself and accept who I am, which is obviously harder said than done. It takes time. I reconnected with things I liked, my hobbies, and my sense of humour. I had to learn that it's okay to cry when you need to, but not to wallow. For me, the answer wasn't in changing my body, but in changing how I saw myself.
I also came to understand that for some people, transition can be a way to run away from other problems, like past trauma or deep-seated insecurities. Some people might try to become unattractive on purpose, by gaining weight or transitioning, as a way to avoid facing something else. But that doesn't fix the root issue. You have to face it.
Looking back, I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to a better understanding of myself. But I do have serious concerns about how the mainstream trans community handles confusion. It feels very irresponsible. They often ignore other reasons someone might feel dysphoric, like autism, OCD, or other mental health struggles. The push to immediately affirm and medicalize without deeper psychological evaluation is dangerous. I benefited from stepping back and working on self-acceptance rather than pursuing medical transition.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's not a strict binary you have to fit into. You can be a man or a woman and have any interests or style you want. The boxes only exist if you let them. I'm glad I found my own path without permanently altering my body.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Had common childhood thoughts about what it would be like to be a girl. |
| Early 20s | Felt intense gender confusion and spent time in online trans communities. Felt pressured to consider medical transition. |
| 23 | Realized I was comfortable being a man and that my issues were with self-acceptance, not my sex. Began focusing on hobbies and reconnecting with myself. |
| Present | Living as a man, comfortable with myself, and advocating for careful consideration before medical transition. |
Top Comments by /u/pimoflex69:
Being a man or male means many different things to different people. You can accept yourself and who you are and find your own path in masculinity. The box of traditional masculinity only exists if you want it to exist.
I struggled too but before I got the hormones I realized I was comfortable being a man, I just liked dressing in women's clothes sometimes haha 😖. And I've come to learn that even cis people struggle with identity at some time or another. It's more common than you might think.
I'm not sure where your journey will take you but I always suggest starting with self acceptance. If you can get to that everything else will come naturally. Good luck
You'd be surprised how normal those thoughts are for boys or girls.
I would think similar things as a child (I'm a guy).
Honestly, I would promote self acceptance as the first thing. Are you really that uncomfortable being a woman? Or are you just fixated on the idea of being a man? If so, there's no rule book. You can be a woman and be interested in male things. Many people find that kind of thing attractive and interesting.
However, if these thoughts of being male are so pervasive it's effecting your life in a deeply negative way, perhaps transition is a path to choose. But I would err on caution as many people regret these kinds of decisions. The mainstream trans community tend to ignore or not even recognize this happening. So don't expect much support from them if you choose to go back. (But we'll be here)
I don't mean to sound doom and gloomy haha. But these are big decisions, I think it's worth really thinking about before rushing into something based on thoughts you had as a child that are actually quite normal
It's a ballsy move, but I think this needs to get out there. It's risky because it could invoke a backlash. But in a way the trans community needs a wake-up call.
I've been in the pro trans Reddits and honestly it's very concerning how much they try to pressure eachother into being trans. I've seen countless posts of people just saying "I feel confused about my gender" and instead of people saying "hey, take it easy everyone gets confused, take some time to really think about what you want" it's usually more like "anyone can be trans for any reason, if you're confused you're clearly trans get to a doctor and get hormones as soon as possible, and he's a list of all the clinics that give hormones no questions asked". Like fuck man it's insane over there
You can still have typically male interests and behaviour without becoming a man. A lot of people find that very attractive actually.
Unless this is more about how you look than anything else? Not trying to be antagonistic with that question but I think it needs to be asked
There's room to use your platform to warn about going into transitioning. Not to say people shouldn't transition or its wrong, but simply to be careful as perhaps questioning your gender may not always be the result of dysphoria, but other stresses, insecurities or trauma in life
Yeah I think I was a little guilty of this at first. But when you frequent trans poz spaces it really does feel like they push so hard and with little regard to nuance. Perhaps this is changing but yeah, for detrans it's hard because the trans identity has been politicised so much already, it's almost a knee jerk reaction to use the same tactic back.
But ultimately it just feeds the system and regular trans and detrans folk are left with their voices drowned out by the nonsense
You have to learn to find yourself and accept yourself. It seems that that is at the core of this. This is obviously harder said than done. And takes many years, even people who have not gone down the trans route struggle with this for a long long time.
But if you work you will get there. Get connected with the things you like, your hobbies. Reconnect with your humour, watch comedy and laugh. Cry when you need to, but don't wallow.
I dunno if this helps but it helped me to remember these things and practice them daily. I'm sure you'll find your own ways too ☺️
It's common for a lot of abused people to do everything they can to run away or become unattractive in some way like gaining weight or transitioning. But ultimately it doesn't do anything because you're not facing it. I'm glad you have the strength to do that now.
Some of the stuff you've mentioned has really bothered me. Young boys seem to be getting hold of porn way too early and to be quite honest I would never give my daughter or son a phone with Snapchat at age 12. Just not gonna happen. It opens the doors to hormonal freaks to do weird shit or even adults. When teenage years are already weird as it is.
As you get older it's gonna be hard to avoid certain things. For guys, avoiding violence is difficult. For girls avoiding creepy sexual advances (or worse) is their journey. I have a small bit of advice, but if any guy is getting overly sexual with you on a dating app or in real life, avoid that guy. This includes guys "love bombing" or calling you beautiful and amazing from the get go before even meeting you. These guys are trying to manipulate you. (Unless you're into casual sex I guess but I didn't get that from your post)
And just a casual bit of advice, take it or leave it, but stay away from relationships in general until you're a bit older and you know who you are. I've made too many mistakes by getting into relationships I wasn't ready for and I notice a lot of people do the same. But sometimes you have to make mistakes in order to learn so 🤷
Hope it helps, and good luck out there
Well it's just clearly untrue. The rates are still high for those that transition and like you say, it effects the most passing down to the least.
I think this is why the psychological evaluation part of transition is so important because many people experience dysphoria due to other reasons than actual gender dysphoria such as schizophrenia or autism. And there are others with BPD or Narcissistic Personality disorder that inject themselves into the scene too.
It's very complicated and I think a lot of pro trans rhetoric is extremely irresponsible as they don't seem to ever consider these alternative explanations for why people may be doing what they're doing. And it means people with genuine Dysphoria get left with a bad name and a lot of confusing rhetoric being thrown around