This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's posts display a nuanced, introspective, and emotionally complex internal dialogue that is highly consistent with someone genuinely questioning their gender and exploring the detrans/desister community for perspective. The language is natural, with contradictions, personal history, and evolving thoughts that are difficult to fabricate. The user identifies as a desister (questioning but not medically transitioned) and their passion stems from personal conflict, not scripted rhetoric.
About me
I was born female and was initially excited about puberty, but I now feel very uncomfortable with my female body. I wear a prosthetic and masculine clothes daily, though I still enjoy dressing up sometimes, which adds to my confusion. I’ve been researching both transition and detransition stories to see what might be right for me, as I worry I’m looking for a quick fix. A part of me feels it was a mistake that I was born female, but it’s hard to separate that from other issues. For now, I’m just trying to understand myself without any labels.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been confusing, and I’m still trying to figure it all out. I was born female, and I remember being excited when my breasts started to develop as a preteen. But now that they’re large, I feel uncomfortable with them. I’ve also felt uncomfortable with my genitalia for as long as I can remember; I’ve been upset about not having a penis since I learned what they were. To cope, I wear a prosthetic penis most of the time, which helps.
Day to day, I dress in a masculine or gender-neutral way because that’s what I’m most comfortable in. But I also like to wear dresses for special occasions because it makes me feel pretty. I have long hair and my interests and possessions are very “girly,” which adds to the confusion. I don’t really feel male or female; I just feel like myself. In my head, I’m a masculine but ultimately gender-neutral being. It feels weird and untrue to know that people see me as a woman. I am female, that’s a fact, but I don’t feel like a girl or a woman.
I’ve been experimenting with my identity. I’ve tried out male and gender-neutral pronouns with a few close, supportive friends. I’ve spent a lot of time on Reddit, reading about people who are transgender and happy, but I also really wanted to hear from people who were unhappy identifying that way. I worry sometimes that I’m just looking for a quick fix to my problems. I know transitioning is the right choice for some people, but I need to figure out if it’s right for me.
It’s really hard to separate my feelings. Part of me has known since I was small that if I could choose, I would choose to be a man because there’s less discrimination. That feels like internalized misogyny. But there’s another feeling, harder to put into words, that it’s a mistake that I was born female. Like I was meant to be a man. I don’t feel insecure in my body; I’m aware that I’m a very attractive female and that my body is beautiful. But I still feel unhappy with it. It feels unfair that I have to have a female body just because I was born that way.
I learned that I could realistically change my body with hormones, affecting my fat distribution, face shape, voice, and body hair. The idea is scary because it feels like a decision you can’t undo. I can’t imagine my future as a woman, and I feel anxious around people who don’t know I have these thoughts because I feel like they don’t see the real me. I’ve read about autogynephilia (AGP) and androphilia (AAP), and I don’t really relate to AAP at all. If anything, I relate a tiny bit more to AGP, but not really. It’s all just complicated.
Hearing from people who thought they were trans and then realized they weren’t has been really helpful. The idea of growing out of gender dysphoria sounds awesome, but I’m not sure if that will ever happen for me. For now, I’m just trying to figure things out.
Here is a timeline of my journey so far based on what I've shared:
Age | Event |
---|---|
Preteen | I was excited when my breasts started to develop. |
Childhood | I felt upset about not having a penis from the time I learned what they were. |
Currently | I feel uncomfortable with my large breasts and genitalia. I wear a prosthetic penis daily. |
Currently | I dress in masculine/gender-neutral clothing day-to-day but wear dresses for special occasions. |
Currently | I am experimenting with male and gender-neutral pronouns with close friends. |
Currently | I am actively researching transition and detransition experiences online to understand my feelings. |
Top Comments by /u/pinkpassionfruits:
Thank you, I really appreciate your comment. I sometimes feel like I am just looking for a quick fix to my problems. I also believe it is the right choice for some people and not for others, I just need to figure out if it is right for me. I am sorry that you had to go down that road before realizing that it wasn’t for you, but congratulations on figuring out yourself and your identity! I hope things are going better for you now.
also I guess I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and I have spent a lot of time on Reddit learning about people who are transgender and happy with it and I really want to hear the perspective of people who were unhappy identifying that way too
This is really helpful and I appreciate you taking the time to comment. There are things in your comment that I relate to and things that I don’t but it’s really nice to see the perspective of someone who thought they were trans and then realized they weren’t.
I do a lot of that already and it helps me feel less sad. I like to wear dresses and stuff too but only for special occasions bc it makes me feel pretty. Day to day I dress pretty masculine/gender neutral bc I am more comfortably with that. I also have experimented with male and gender neutral pronouns with a few of my close friends who are supportive of my gender exploration. I don’t really relate to AAP at all, if anything I relate more to AGP but I don’t really relate to that either. idk shits complicated, just trying to figure things out
I feel uncomfortable with my genitalia so I wear a prosthetic penis most of the time. I also feel uncomfortable with my breasts now that they are large but I was excited to start developing them as a preteen. I can’t imagine my future as a woman. I feel anxious when I am around people who don’t know I have these thoughts because I feel like they don’t see me for who I am. But I like to wear dresses still and I like my long hair and my interests and possessions are very “girly”
bro growing out of gender dysphoria sounds awesome. i don’t think that will ever be me but maybe someday? I’ve been upset about not having a penis since I learned what they were lol. but yeah I don’t feel male or female or anything I really just feel like myself. I don’t feel insecure in my body or anything either, I’m aware that I’m a very attractive female. I know that my body is attractive and beautiful. But I still feel unhappy with it if that makes sense? Like I guess in my head it’s not fair that men get to have male bodies and I have to have a female one just because I was born that way. And for so long I was like okay that’s life it’s unfair, whatever. You get what you get, some people are lucky enough to be born into the body they’d prefer to have and that’s great for them and the rest of us have to suck it up. but then I learned that like oh it doesn’t have to be that way. Like i COULD get a male body realistically, at least in terms of fat distribution and face shape and voice and body hair etc, all the things that hormones impact. but that’s like really scary bc how can you undo that decision yk?
It’s really hard to separate out sometimes the desire to be a man bc of sexism and internalized misogyny vs anything else. Bc I’ve known since I was small that if I could choose, I would choose to be a man bc it’s less discrimination. but I also have this feeling that’s harder to put into words kinda like you described where you said you feel like you were meant to be a man and it’s a mistake that you were a woman. like in my head I am a masculine but ultimately gender neutral being so it feels weird to know people see me as a woman? it feels untrue to me if that makes sense. like I am female yes bc that’s how I was born but not a girl or a woman. And I guess I am a woman bc people see me that way, but if I could choose I would be a man.