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Reddit user /u/pinkpunch8143's Detransition Story

female
regrets transitioning
trauma
depression
influenced online
anxiety
only transitioned socially
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally resonant perspective. The user shares a personal desister narrative (detoxing from "intrusive thoughts of transition") that aligns with known experiences of individuals who detransition for reasons related to misogyny and internalized issues. The passion and specific, varied examples (e.g., male gaze, cultural trends in attractiveness) suggest a real person reflecting on their lived experience.

About me

I started wanting to transition because I was terrified of the creepy male attention I'd gotten since I was a kid, and I thought becoming a man would make me safe. I was heavily influenced by online communities that made transitioning seem like a way to be special and escape my problems. I eventually realized the problem wasn't me being a woman, but a society that allows men to objectify us. I'm so glad I never medically transitioned, as that would have been a way of hiding from the real issue instead of confronting it. Now I know that I never needed to change; the world does.

My detransition story

My whole journey with this started because I hated the way men looked at me. From the time I was about ten years old, I got unwanted and creepy male attention. It felt like I was just an object to them, not a real person. That stuff changes you. I started to hate being seen as a woman because of that male gaze. I felt like I had to escape it.

I went through a phase where I guess I thought, "I'm not like other girls." I cut my hair extremely short, but it didn't really work. Men still approached me and said lewd things. I started to think that if I looked like one of them—if I transitioned to male—then I could finally be free from that. I saw it as a way to cop out, to stop being a target. I never actually saw a therapist about it because I’d heard that therapists just tell you what you want to hear to keep you coming back. I started to have these intrusive thoughts about transitioning, like it was the only solution.

Looking back, I think a lot of this was influenced by what I saw online. There was a time on the internet when it was all about being diverse and special. I had this theory that the trans movement skyrocketed as a way for some people, especially white people who felt left out, to feel different and special again. I think that played a role in my own thinking without me realizing it at the time.

It took me a while to detox from those thoughts. I realized that trying to change myself wasn't the answer. The problem wasn't me being a woman; the problem was the toxic masculinity in our society that teaches men to look at women that way. Transitioning would have just been me leaving the problem behind, not fixing it. It wouldn't have helped any other woman who still had to deal with it. I had to understand that it's not me that needs to change.

I don't regret exploring these feelings because it led me to a better understanding of myself. But I am glad I never took any medical steps. My main regret is that I ever thought I had to change my body to feel safe and respected. I now believe the change needs to happen out in the world, not with my own body.

Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:

Age Event
10 Started receiving unwanted male attention, which began my discomfort with being seen as a woman.
Late Teens Cut my hair very short in an attempt to escape the male gaze, but it was unsuccessful.
Early 20s Seriously considered social transition to male; had intrusive thoughts about it but did not pursue therapy or medical steps.
Mid 20s Realized the issue was societal, not personal; detoxed from the idea of transitioning and accepted myself as a woman.

Top Comments by /u/pinkpunch8143:

5 comments • Posting since May 13, 2019
Reddit user pinkpunch8143 explains the inescapable nature of unwanted male attention that begins for many women in childhood and persists regardless of appearance.
34 pointsAug 2, 2019
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Having unwanted (and creepy) male attention is different when it’s been forced onto you beginning as young as ten for a lot of women. That stuff changes us and causes us to avoid cheap attention. Even when I did cut my hair extremely short I still had incidents where men would approach me and suggest lewd things that they wished to do to me. It’s something that’s inescapable and bound to my existence as a woman and I would love for it to stop completely.

Reddit user pinkpunch8143 comments that androgynous looks are more attractive to them than hyper-masculine ones, citing a preference for the "skinny emo" ideal over the current "mountain men beard" trend.
9 pointsAug 2, 2019
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There are people who find that attractive though. I grew up as a teen when skinny emos, goths, and nerds were seen as the ideal amongst the alternative groups. Now men are all about growing full mountain men beards and it’s a major turn off. Someone who looks androgynous is highly more attractive to me than a guy who’s too masculine.

Reddit user pinkpunch8143 explains their detransition, criticizing gender therapists as appeasers and identifying the male gaze and a "not like other girls" phase as reasons for their transition, arguing society's toxic masculinity must change instead.
9 pointsAug 1, 2019
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I had a somewhat similar experience except I never got to the step where I had to see a therapist. I absolutely hate it when TRAs use the “That’s what therapists are for, to make sure you’re actually trans”. No, these therapists only exist to appease their patients and to possibly make money off of them because it means they have to keep coming back for more sessions. I still hate the male gaze, looking at me as if I am some satisfactory object instead if an equal human being. And it took me a while to detox myself of these intrusive thoughts of transition. I now understand that I was having a “I’m not like other girls” phase and that trying to escape the male gaze by looking like one of them may have succeeded but it wasn’t going to save my other fellow women from this struggle. It was just going to be me copping out and leaving every other woman behind. It’s not me that needs to change but the toxic masculinity that is saturated in our society.

Reddit user pinkpunch8143 comments on a post about surgery regret, sharing a video that covers how SRS rarely leads to true relief and dysphoria often remains.
7 pointsMay 13, 2019
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Your story reminds me so much of a video I saw only a few weeks ago. Apart from the religious add-on from one of the interviewed men it’s still a really good video that covers the topic of SRS regret and how dysphoria often still remains after surgery. https://youtu.be/-pxxBQm114k

Reddit user pinkpunch8143 explains their theory that the trans movement skyrocketed as a way for white males, who felt sidelined by online diversity pushes, to feel special and different.
5 pointsAug 2, 2019
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I have had this same theory for a while as well. Before the whole trans thing on the internet was big it was pushing for more diversity, especially with race. This meant that a lot of white people, especially males, were put into the background while poc were suddenly put on a pedestal. I wouldn’t be surprised that the trans movement skyrocketed as a means for some people to join in on feeling special and different by the internet’s standards.