This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments display a consistent, deeply personal, and emotionally complex narrative of their experience with dysphoria, transition, detransition, and life as a masculine lesbian. The writing has a natural, conversational tone with emotional variation (anger, sadness, reflection) and contains specific, lived details about medical side effects, therapy, social challenges, and internal conflicts that are difficult to fabricate consistently. The perspective is nuanced and aligns with known experiences of detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I grew up in a very conservative culture and desperately wanted to be a man to escape the life expected of me as a woman. I started testosterone right after high school, but I soon realized I could never actually be a man and was just creating a medicalized life for myself. I see now that my desire to transition was driven by internalized homophobia, autism, and a response to trauma and sexism. I stopped hormones and am now learning to accept myself as a masculine lesbian, though I still struggle with dysphoria. I have permanent health issues from testosterone, but I don't regret detransitioning and finally facing the real roots of my pain.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was very young. I always wanted to be a man. Growing up in a very conservative culture, I saw that women were expected to be feminine, get married, and have children, and that wasn't what I wanted for myself at all. I felt wrong, like a mistake. I hated my breasts and everything about being female. I was suicidally depressed by the time I was nine years old.
I thought transitioning was the answer. Right after high school, I started taking testosterone. I was so desperate to escape my body and my life. But it didn't work. I never passed as male in real life, and I realized that no matter what I did, I could never actually be a man. I couldn't change my past. I couldn't get back my female childhood or my teenage years. I wouldn't get to experience growing up as a boy. Transition wouldn't erase the female socialization I had or the sexism I faced. It wouldn't give me my own biological children with a woman. Men don't have to take hormones their whole life or get regular mammograms because of a family history of breast cancer. I was creating a medicalized life for myself, not becoming a man.
A big part of my desire to transition was internalized homophobia. I'm a lesbian, and I didn't want to be gay. I wanted to be a straight man because I thought that would be an easier life with more dating opportunities. My therapists never talked to me about this. They never asked about my depression or investigated other causes for my dysphoria. It wasn't until later that I was diagnosed with autism, and I saw how much that and my OCD contributed to my feelings about my body. It’s horrifying to me now that no one ever looked into that; they just pushed me toward transition.
I also see now that a lot of my dysphoria was a response to trauma and sexism. I was harassed by males from a young age because of my body, and I wanted to escape that. I transitioned because of the constant message that my sex was inferior and that my only purpose was childbearing. Finding strong, positive female role models, especially butch lesbians and women in male-dominated careers, has been crucial for me. It showed me that I could be my own person as a woman.
I stopped hormones and detransitioned. I have some permanent side effects from testosterone, including heart issues that limit my activity, and I worry about my hair. I’m now trying to accept myself as a masculine lesbian. I still have dysphoria; it’s something I have to manage and live with. I’m more at peace now, but it’s a struggle. I’m just a different kind of woman, not a man.
I have a lot of regrets. I wish I had waited and gotten real therapy that addressed the roots of my problems—my autism, my depression, my internalized homophobia, and the trauma of growing up female in a sexist world—instead of being fast-tracked to medical transition. I regret the permanent changes to my body and the health complications. But I don't regret detransitioning. It was the right choice for me to stop trying to become something I could never be and start learning to live with myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 9 | Began experiencing severe depression and gender dysphoria. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone shortly after graduating high school. |
| 19 | Realized transition wasn't working and that I would never truly be a man. Stopped testosterone. |
| 19 | Began the process of detransitioning and working on self-acceptance as a masculine woman. |
Top Comments by /u/piouou:
I'll be honest.as someone who transition because of Sexism I can't relate to alot of males who transition because of something pornography influenced.ofcours If a detrans male post ,i do not,act rudely. But I wont say anything. Like.i understand that early exposure to these thing will hurt someone's brain. And I empathize. But. At the end of the day I just cant relate to,someone who did not transition from Society constant message about the inferiority of there sex. I can understand it.but we lead so much of different lives. And I have nothing to say.
Alot of women seem to transition because of,abuse and PTSD from males. So if it from the other side their especially not able to relate. Probably if in guessing.
Just my 2 cent's
Edit. Since I remembered. There is sometimes alot of sexism from male poster. If it's the same sexism that cause a female poster to transition. Makes sense they would not be polite. For example...i remember seen a poster who said,there sad since they will never get male attention for being a cute Girl.but this is enraging for females who transition from being Haradsed by males as a young child. You know.
That's ridiculous post..if you wanted to get mastectomy for any Cosmetic reason not,cancer your going to have trouble even finding doctor to perform it.much less talk about waiting lists.... how should children be able to make those decision's. Same with testosterone. And etc.
I've heard conflicting things. Some people Are saying that it was more bullying,and describing it as sounding like voeyuristic laughing at srs outcomes.
Wouldn't mind a subreddit that discussed side affects and negative outcomes if transition. But just gore posting doesn't help anyone.
They keep moving the goalposts. I get told I was never really trans since I detransed. I also get told that I'm trans right now. Because I have dysphoria. But also I'm not trans because I dont identify as trans. But also I'm trans because I have a "male brain" since I have dysphoria.
It's all bs lol
I never pass as male in real life..but I had some social Media where,I pretended.
There was that.but also. Males act almost normal when they think your a guy.not as much bullsh!t with trying too act tough or whatever or trying to get in your pants. It was weird for me..
One thing that may help you is finding more masculine female friends. I grew up in a culture where women were expected to be feminine all the time, and it was a lot easier accepting my identity as a masculine woman once I branched out and found more butch friends.
Just remember that many of the women you run into who are feminine are probably also hating it. That was me at first, excessively feminine because I thought I had to.
Well. I guess theres an argument that people dont realize how common complications are.
Which I can agree with. I was told so many times THERE ARE NO SIDE Effects and that was a lie. For srs. I never went through with it. But time and Time again, people claiming that complications are VERY RARE or dont exist.
Having a showcase of what can go wrong can be helpful. Because people are trying to cover up the reality.
How that subreddit went about it sounds wrong. Not for education for Dysphoric people but titillation for non dysphoric people. But it could be useful in theory.
I get it. But that doesn't give a man a license to be misogynistic. If he wants to talk about things and be offensive to women I'm sure there's subreddits without women. This one is not one. Theres women here.
I tone back the criticism of men sense there's men here. And believe me I have alot of criticism of men. I'm sure most women here do. But we can still be polite. But I'd expect the favor to be returned.
I know exactly what post your referring to. The stuff this specific guy mentioned in his post was misogynistic. I'm sorry it causes him dysphoria. Thay doesn't give him a license to be sexist. The things he said remind me alot of what other women say causes them dysphoria. This too combined with how they were sexist, that isnt constructive discussion.
I know of 2 subreddits for dysphoric women specifically. I'm sure there's ones for men. Not that I support sexism but if your going to be sexist at least do it where women struggling with our bodies dont have to read it.
just my 2 cents.
Sorry this doesn't answer your question...but why your transitioning if you sont have bad dysphoria??so many risks with Hormones... it's not worth it if your not escaping from something bad... ofcourse for me I had bad dysphoria and it wasnt worth it either. But still.
First thing I did was quit talking to all the liberals I knew that lied to me abt transition. Since they were gone it was easier to clear my head.ans just reflect.
I asked myself all the questions no therapist or "friend" ever bothered to ask. Why did I have dysphoria. whered it come from. Alot of reflection. Kind of helped me come to terms w it.
If you have supportive friends or community that will probably help alot. I wish I had this subreddit when I decided. I thought I was alone. Felt that way.