This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally complex, and internally consistent. They describe a personal journey from identifying as trans to detransitioning, including nuanced struggles with internalized misogyny, body image, community dynamics, and the psychological process of leaving an ideological mindset. The language is natural, with self-contradictions and emotional shifts that are human, not programmed. Their passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of a genuine detransitioner.
About me
I started identifying as trans online when I was 12, feeling lonely and pressured by what I saw. My journey was driven by a deep discomfort with becoming a woman and a fear of being seen as lesser. I eventually realized I had been trying to escape the realities of being female rather than actually being male. Now, I understand that I am a woman, and my body doesn't have to define my personality or interests. I'm happy and relieved to have moved past that difficult time and accepted myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was just 12 years old. I was a lonely kid, growing up in a conservative country, and I spent way too much time online. That’s where I got sucked into the whole trans identity. Looking back, I think it was like the new version of being emo for my generation. There was this alarming pressure, and it felt like so many other teens were doing it. I became completely convinced that I was trans and that there was no other explanation for how I felt.
A lot of my feelings were tied up with hating being female. I saw women as being treated as the lesser sex, and I hated feeling physically vulnerable and weaker than men. I had a lot of discomfort with puberty, especially developing breasts and getting painful periods. The idea of pregnancy terrified me; it made me feel like a "walking incubator," and I saw my reproductive parts as completely useless. I wanted a hysterectomy to just get rid of it all. I think I romanticized gay men and their relationships a lot. For a while, I even called myself a "gay man" and tried to suppress my attraction to women, which I now see is ridiculous because I'm female and I'm actually attracted to both men and women.
I had a therapist who tried to help me get to the root of these problems, but I was too stubborn to listen. I was just so sure I was trans and didn't want to hear anything else. I also spent time in online trans communities, even the more strict "transmed" ones, but they were just as bad for my mental health—full of vitriol and self-hatred instead of being helpful.
Eventually, reality started to catch up with me. I began to doubt everything. I thought, if even I wasn't trans—someone who had all the classic signs and very intense dysphoria—then who actually is? It made me doubt the existence of being trans altogether. Letting go of the ideology was really difficult, but it felt like a huge baggage was lifted off my shoulders. It’s been freeing to not feel reduced to just my body anymore. I’m trying to focus on the other parts of myself that make me, me.
I don't believe in "feeling like a man or woman" anymore. I don't feel like any gender. I am a woman because I was born female, and that's the only criteria. There's nothing to "feel." Feminism really helped me see this; you don't have to be feminine to be a woman. You can express yourself any way you want. I think making gender identity a core part of your personality is a trap. It's the least interesting thing about a person. Most people just live as their sex and don't spend all their time thinking about it.
I don't regret that I didn't have any surgeries; I'm thankful I stopped before it went that far. I do have some sadness about the whole experience, especially for other kids being pushed down the same path. But I'm happy now. My family is probably relieved that I'm "normal" after all, and I feel like I can finally move on with my life.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started identifying as trans online. |
| 12-17 | Lived socially as male; experienced intense dysphoria about female puberty. |
| 17 | Began to question my trans identity and started detransitioning. |
| 17 | Realized I am female and accepted my bisexuality. |
Top Comments by /u/plaintortilla11:
I do agree with you but this reply comes off as a little too harsh. She is allowed to grieve over what she lost, and my heart hurts for all the children who are unawarely being pushed down this same road. It is not the end of life and we should absolutely be grateful for what we have but shutting down any emotions around it completely is unproductive imo.
Yup. Trans is the new emo
There is an alarming amount of young teens identifying as trans right now, and I was one of them. I got sucked into it as young as 12. This is why I'm really against transitioning for minors of all kind, most grow out of it eventually
also the "everyone wants you dead!" makes you really anxious and resentful towards the world and people around you. You start thinking of your parents and other people close to you as some hateful genocidal bigots because they don't support you harming yourself. Scary stuff
I think if i identified as female, it would be inauthentic to my experience
why, though? do you think there is some sort of ultimate female experience, and since yours is different you cant be female anymore? you were born female, thats the only criteria to be a woman.
I think your problem is making your trans identity a part of your personality, which is something I struggle with too. your gender identity is the least interesting part about you, I promise! it is just a biological fact, it doesn't have to define you in any way. you can identify as detrans female to people who want to ask about your past trans experiences. why not just try to drop the labels all together, instead of trying to identify yourself into more nonbinary labels? they won't give you peace either, it's just more pointless navel gazing. will open you a little secret: most "cis" people don't identify as any gender either! they just live as their sex and it's perfectly okay.
We definitely shouldn't wallow in our misery and self-pity, but we all have our weak moments and I think OP is having one of those so she came to vent here. As I've said, I agree with your message and perspective, it's just probably not the kind of response she wants when she writes in a support group.
hi! You are definitely not a "traitor of womanhood", that's a very callous way of putting it at least. Feminism is great and I recommend you look further into it(especially into more radical branches but that is up to preference), it helped me immensely in my detransition journey. You do not have to express femininity to call yourself a woman, you were born one so you are already one! Just express yourself in any way you are comfortable.
also I don't really believe into the notion of "feeling like a man/woman", I don't feel like any gender either but I am a woman because I was born female. There is nothing there to "feel", really. I suggest you explore yourself without needlessly slapping more labels onto your existence and try to embrace yourself as a female that expresses herself in any way she wants.
Exactly. Like I used to be one of the most "trutrans" people you could meet, with all the signs and symptomps, very intense dysphoria, and yet here I am now. It's now making me doubt the existence of transsexuality at all. If even I wasn't trans, who is?
Yeah, they are definitely a double-edged sword. And I don't blame some cis allies for turning their backs on trans people, especially after seeing what some of them say and do. I kind of wish trans people weren't so loud in our community, they also scare away potential LGB allies.
As someone said.. the more gay people I met, the less homophobic I got. And the more trans people I met, the more transphobic I got
Yeah I can see that. This is usually why I joined "transmed/truscum" communities because it seemed like they had at least some common sense, but these places were really bad for my mental health. Instead of being validating like the other side they are full of vitriol and self-hatred. You really can't win there
Yeah I didn't have any surgeries yet, thankfully. I had a therapist and she tried to get into the root of the problem but I was too stubborn to let her do her job lol. I was just so convinced I'm trans and that there was nothing else to it :( I'm gonna try to reconcile with her or look for another therapist then
I've felt like you for a while too. It is truly difficult to leave the ideology, but the reality will catch up to you, sooner or later. You can soften the blow by getting yourself out of it before it's too late.
If you decide to detransition, you don't have to leave your friends either(unless they are the hardcore trans activist type), if they are good people, they will accept you.
Reality sucks but it is also amazing in many ways. It has been so freeing to feel like I'm not reduced to just my body anymore. I've been trying to focus on other parts of myself that make me, me. You will always chase the high of another body, waiting for the hormones to work, constantly thinking about the next surgery you want to get.. It's draining, not only on your wallet but also mentally. And all of this while putting life on pause until you "pass", even if you never might. Either way I hope you find yourself and whatever works best for you 💖