This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's story is highly consistent across multiple comments, detailing a specific personal history of considering transition due to paternal abuse and body image issues, then desisting for reasons of cost, fear of surgery, and a journey to self-acceptance. The language is natural, emotionally nuanced, and shows a clear, developed perspective on detransition/desistance topics. The advice given to others is empathetic, personal, and complex, which is not typical of bot behavior. The account exhibits the passion and lived-experience perspective common in the community.
About me
I was a tomboy who felt like an ugly girl, and I thought becoming a man would finally make me feel accepted. I planned to medically transition as a teenager, but I was scared of the health risks and realized it wouldn't fix my deep insecurities. I slowly learned that I could just be a masculine woman and that was perfectly okay. Meeting my partner, who loves me as I am, helped me finally accept my womanhood. I'm now comfortable in my own skin and believe in self-acceptance over changing my body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a kid. I was a tomboy and I always felt like an ugly girl, especially because my dad would tell me I was ugly. For a little girl, that completely destroys your confidence. I started to think, "Well, maybe he wanted a son. If I'm a boy, then maybe I'll finally be accepted." That thought stuck with me for a long time.
By my teen years, I was convinced I was going to transition to male. I dressed butch, cut my hair short, and even tried to bind my chest because I hated my breasts. I felt like I didn't fit in with other girls and that being a man would make life easier. I now realize a lot of that came from my low self-esteem and the bullying I experienced. I was trying to escape from being the person I was told was ugly.
When I got to around 16, I was seriously planning to get hormones and surgeries. But I started to really think about it. The cost was huge, and I was way too scared of the possible health complications. I also had this nagging feeling that I would be making other people uncomfortable. I thought that even if you transition, there's often something that gives away your biological sex, and that can create an uneasiness in social situations. I realized I didn't want to live with that.
It took a few years, but I slowly started to question why I wanted to transition in the first place. I asked myself if I really wanted to be a man, or if I just wanted to be trans. I wondered if transitioning would actually fix my problems, or if I just thought life would be easier as a man. I came to understand that I can be a masculine woman and that's perfectly okay. Liking "guy things" or having a more butch style doesn't make me less of a woman. I don't have to adhere to gender stereotypes.
A big part of my healing was meeting my partner, a flamboyant straight man who loves me for exactly who I am and thinks I'm beautiful. He helped me see that I could be accepted as a woman. Accepting myself and my womanhood was one of the best things I ever did. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. I learned to love my natural body.
Looking back, I don't regret not transitioning. I'm glad I gave myself time to figure things out. I think my experience was heavily influenced by trauma and a deep-seated feeling of not being good enough as I was. I now believe there's no one way to be a man or a woman; you just are. I'm not particularly religious, but I do believe in reincarnation, and I feel that whatever I'm born as in another life, I'll just go with the flow. It's not for me to decide.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Felt like an "ugly girl" due to my dad's comments; started identifying as a tomboy. |
| Early Teens | Became convinced I was meant to be a man; dressed butch, had short hair, and bound my chest. |
| 16 | Seriously planned to medically transition but was deterred by the cost and fear of health complications. |
| Late Teens/Early 20s | Gradually started to question my desire to transition; realized I could be a masculine woman. |
| Early 20s | Fully accepted myself as a woman; met my partner who supported me. |
| Present | Comfortable in my womanhood; believe in self-acceptance over transition for my personal journey. |
Top Comments by /u/pollytato:
I think the word queer in itself has done so much disservice to the gay community. There are gay people now who want to separate from the queer group because that genuinely was not an okay term to use at one point and even with it's definition of describing something strange or out of place, to describe one's own sexuality or identity as weird or out of place reinforces the negative connotations it has always carried. Just can't see how a group of people want to be seen as normal when they call themselves weird.
I definitely annoyed my peers in highschool when I was going through it and regret it so much. Time heals and honestly everybody has their moments where they look a little unsavory to everyone else. Just live your life, do what you love and know that it was merely a chapter of your life and not the whole book. And no need to hate yourself friend. <3
I always thought I was an ugly girl, even my dad would say that to me. Always have come off very butch too, and people almost always assume I'm a lesbian (actually I'm with a flamboyant straight man, we have an interesting dynamic lol) but for most of my teen years I was convinced I would transition to a man. The cost and possible complications mostly veered me from it but I also realized that I hate making people feel uncomfortable. By that I mean even if someone wants to present as the opposite gender, there's usually a certain something that can give away your bio sex and there's just a certain uneasiness that alot of people get when they have to address someone who they can't fully identify. I just realized that I can like what I like as a woman and it doesn't make me less of one and there is nothing wrong with embracing your natural body.
It sounds like you have been reflecting for a long time on this, and it's perfectly natural to rethink your decisions both past and future. I myself was so sure at 16 that I was going to get all the surgeries and hrt needed to transition, but the possible medical complications and costs were just too much to comprehend and commit to. Overall I'm glad I stuck to my birth sex. I learned how to love my womanhood and it was not easy, but worth it. There is no set way to be a man or a woman, you just are. And you seem like a beautiful person both inside and out!
I think one of the reasons I couldn't start transitioning was because I was way too scared of the cost and the surgeries. Took a few years to fully find my groove with both my femininity and tomboyishness. I think alot of feminine men and masculine women feel they need to transition because they don't feel feminine or masculine enough to "hang with the guys/girls". I still to this day struggle to talk to feminine women and it's fine because I'm still a woman in my own way. Just give yourself time to be and you'll never know where you'll end up. You look very cool btw!
That's a tough one but what I would personally do is just let him ride it out. You don't ever have to medicalize and he will figure things out as he grows. Ultimately when he is an adult he will do what he wants and the best way to keep a close relationship is to support as much as you can but also set your boundaries. Wish you luck and lots of love.
Finding yourself after going through so much is certainly something to be proud of, and you shine so much not just as a woman but as a confident person too! Definitely share your story so more amazing young men and women can find themselves and love themselves for who they are. <3
I think college is alot like highschool. It's a big deal in the moment but 20, 30, 40 years down the line many people won't remember or care what happened then. Plus if you make genuine friends and connections, they will understand your situation and might even be more respectful than you think. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. <3
I'm sure there are men that act crappy to other men, bullying happens everywhere. I think what OP is describing is passive aggression. I personally don't take it as seriously anymore or I'll ask the person "What are you actually trying to say to me? Be clear please." and it gets dismantled pretty quickly.
I think it's important to ask yourself why you want to transition, and if you really want to be the opposite sex or if you just want to be trans. Will transitioning fix any of the problems you have? Some people think if they were a man or a woman then life would be easier but really everybody has it tough to some degree. Personally I just realized that I can be a masculine woman and be into non-feminine things and that doesn't make me less of a woman. You don't have to adhere to gender stereotypes yet there will always be someone who thinks "Oh, you like pink and dresses? Must be a girl."
Also I'm not particularly religious but I do believe in reincarnation. Whether in this life or another no matter what I'm born as, I'll just go with the flow. It's not for me to decide.