unfortunately i think you’re right…

also, in addition, i agree with what you’ve said. but i actually think trans women can never understand the experience of womanhood, because they are not women. womanhood includes every second from the moment you are born being treated as female and growing up in the world as a female person and understanding how the world sees and treats you.

trans women have some experiences similar to women, the same way some gay men also do. and i respect their rights for freedoms, safety, and discussing their expeirences.. but they are fundamentally not experiencing womanhood, they are experiencing a kind of manhood, the kind of man who appears female.

anyways, i appreciate your awareness and empathy for women, i truly truly do.

males do not lose all male advantage by weakening themselves, there are studies to show that. (think heart size, lung size, height, hip structure and size, bone length and size, and many other things even more complex)

but even if it did. women are not weak males.

we don’t let the weak males compete in women’s sports so they have a chance. we don’t let weak men come in second at women’s sports because they couldn’t qualify for men’s sports.

women’s sports is for exceptional women, not a playground for failed male athletes.

bc it breaks their fantasy

almost all trans servers enjoy the fantasy that they were BORN to be trans, that they have an opposite sexed soul in their body, that they are truly trans.

to say that for some it is predicated on a fetish, would break their fantasy

terfs don’t hate trans people. the same way feminists don’t hate men. you will find some bad people, but all in all the ideology is just a feminist one.

you are not a bad person for being trans. you can transition if you want to. the things that terfs have issues with, as i’ve read, is men in womens sports, or the shutting down of female only spaces, men talking on behalf of women, men going into female only support groups, men taking over lesbian spaces such as the lesbian subreddit (which is now 47% male). and things like that.

— and esp banning women from talking about how a male is different from females, in terms of physical reality and socialization. for example, a feminist will discuss how men have different perspectives on things due to being male, but then when a man who identifies as a woman comes in, they are no longer allowed to discuss how that man is different from women.

you said in your post you are not deluded into thinking you are actually the opposite sex. if you have respect for women and women’s spaces then you aren’t doing anything wrong.

a lot of male people misunderstand feminism or have a hard time internalizing it, especially when there is a lot of rhetoric that goes “all men are evil” which is wrong. it’s not good to say that and it’s not true.

so, many many men who transition have issues with male hatred in society, it’s a huge contributing factor. because of this, they struggle to balance feminist critiques of society while also understanding that they themselves are good people. it’s basically “not all men”. it’s basically “but not me right?”.

yes. not you. if you are a good person, then the feminists are not talking about you. ignore the ones who say “all men are bad”. ignore the ones who say “all males are bad”. because that’s not true. the same way you shouldn’t listen to people who say “all white people are bad”. it’s just not true.

if you agree with things like respecting female sports, not talking on behalf of women as a male person, not intruding on female private spaces or support groups or lesbian spaces— then you’re not doing anything wrong, in my opinion.

if you still struggle with self hatred based on your own behaviors, such as porn use or other things— that is a personal journey that has nothing to do with terfs or feminists.

again, you wishing to be a woman isn’t bad. you transitioning isn’t morally bad (might be psychologically or physically unhealthy but thats person to person)

if you have issues around being male and wish to be female. those emotions in themselves are not morally coded. of course there are many potential sources, and if you have internalized misandry then that’s probably something to keep in mind— but all in all, those emotions don’t make you a bad person. wishing to be “one of the girls” doesn’t make you a bad person. it makes total sense, for either a gay man or a heterosexual man (or bi) to want to be part of the girls. there are many understanble factors there. there’s nothing wrong with wanting that.

lol when i was identifying as trans i was running away from a lot of misogyny, then i found that in my trans group i still felt it for some weird reason. they were calling me the right pronouns, we all did for each other, but i still felt like i was being treated like "a girl" in those same negative ways

that definitely sounds like the way a toxic male partner acts. or the way males were socialized to see and treat women. that doesn’t suddenly change just bc they can get off to the idea of it being applied to themselves.

and your responses to it is only “gender dysphoria” because any negative feeling towards sex and gender is that. but in reality what you are experiencing is the objectification, sexualization and humiliation of women. misogyny. you are dating a misogynistic male who has a hyper-inflated sexualized perspective of women, not as humans, but as sex things.

my partner actually did this with me too, i would be conscious of his dysphoria but he would completely forget that i’m a person too lol.

i really really reccomend breaking up with this person and googling what autogynephilia is or watching a podcast about it

I felt really similarly, when I detoxed from trans online spaces, trans friend groups, etc it helped me stop obsessing over what other part of my body was "wrong".

I also really appreciate you noticing and commenting on the infantilizing aspects of some online mtf spaces (using loli anime girls for everything, thigh high socks, skirt go spinny etc) and the hypersexual elements of it too. Those aspects of online and even irl mtf spaces always made me feel horrible about womanhood. Anime specifically is an incredibly misogynistic media that makes me feel sick about being a woman, because theyre so sexualized, infantilized, etc. So it always made me feel weird that so many mtf people gravitated towards it, kind of like incels lol. It makes me feel bad for cis women and trans women who are just normal ass women who don't want to be reduced to "bottoms" or "catgirls".

its appropriating intersex verbiage. 99% of people had their sex observed at birth, not assigned.

intersex people are the ones who have sexes assigned due to theirs being ambiguous (which causes a lot of issue for them such as non-consensual surgery on their genitals at young ages)

i reblogged this post on tumblr and got several asks basically telling me to delete it, and that is was “terfy” or something…. like… i’m not the only female who felt like childhood was traumatic because i was female….. so many girls and women relate to this and silencing them or telling them they’re trans is so terrible 😢

this person has been consistently harassing this sub for a long time. have you ever heard of DARVO?

i believe this person has heard us liken trans ideology to a cult, and got so furious all they could do is say “no you” right back.

after desisting for a while, i did notice some cultish things about trans spaces. i can write them out. i can list them with examples and explain why i think they are cult like behaviors. (this doesn’t mean that all trans ppl are cultish btw)

and as a side note, there are many current things i notice have cult like elements to them. it can be political groups. friend groups in the office. etc

but if someone is going to continuously call this sub a cult (which i am sure is because they are immature and the only insult they can come up with is a “no you”) i would like to see their reasoning. but they never give any. it’s just an accusation.