This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative. Key points supporting authenticity include:
- Personal Detail: Specific, varied details (mixed ethnicity, workplace safety issue, therapy for DID) that are complex to fabricate consistently.
- Internal Consistency: The story of social transition, detransition, and the reasons for it (internalized issues, therapy) is coherent across posts.
- Emotional Nuance: The tone ranges from analytical to supportive to frustrated, reflecting a genuine person's passionate and varied engagement with a difficult topic. The advice given is measured and cautions against permanence, which aligns with a desister/detransitioner perspective.
No red flags were identified that would suggest inauthenticity.
About me
I started wanting to transition as a teenager because I hated the changes of female puberty. I got swept up in online communities during lockdown that affirmed my identity as a trans man without any nuance. With therapy, I realized my discomfort stemmed from internalized issues and dissociation, not from being born the wrong sex. I’m now fully detransitioned and living happily as a woman, embracing my body as it is. I regret the time I lost but am grateful I avoided permanent changes.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I hated my body when I was a teenager. I felt really uncomfortable with the changes during puberty, especially developing breasts. I think a lot of my female friends felt the same way, and we all just hated what was happening to us. At the time, I spent a lot of time online, and after the first few months of COVID lockdown, I really started to act like the people I saw in these online spaces. They weren't very nuanced and could be pretty mean to reasonable people.
I started to believe that transitioning was the answer. I identified as a non-binary person for a bit, and then later as a trans gay man. I never came out to my family, though. I got lucky that I could pass as male in my university classes but still easily pass as female whenever I wanted to, so I only told my friends and people in online communities. Those online spaces were just echo chambers of affirmation; they just told me what I wanted to hear.
I had a lot of internalised stuff going on. I'm mixed Palestinian and Korean, and I had internalised a lot of the racism and misogyny that is severe in the country I live in. I think that played a big part in why I wanted to escape being a woman. I also had a serious problem with porn, and I know that warped my perception of sex, intimacy, and myself.
Looking back, I think I was deeply dissociated from myself. I'm actually diagnosed with the extreme version of this, DID. My entire life as a 'trans man' was something I didn't seem to remember at all after I 'woke up' and detransitioned. I only remember it now after a lot of therapy.
I ended up detransitioning because I went to a good therapist. She helped me learn to love and cherish my body as it was naturally meant to be. That therapy was non-affirming of my trans identity, and it really benefited me. It helped me work through my low self-esteem and depression. I started to see that the mindset I had online set unrealistic expectations and was harmfully misleading. I had met so many young people, and I was one of them, who expected to be no different from biological males or females. We all ended up in a state of perpetual disappointment because every step in transition just added more dysphoria when you realize you still aren't a biological male or female. Women are women, and trans women are trans women. Men are men, and trans men are trans men. There's some overlap, but there are even more differences.
I saw a video from someone else who detransitioned, and it flipped a switch in my brain and kick-started my own detransition. I'm now fully detransitioned and back to living as a woman, and I'm so much happier. I've embraced being a woman of color, and it makes me happy to see others doing the same.
I am so relieved that I didn't go through with any surgeries or permanent procedures. I know now that our teenage years are very emotionally, mentally, and socially difficult, which gives us all sorts of complicated feelings about our selves and bodies. None of that makes you transgender if you don't identify as such. I would tell anyone feeling unsure to wait it out. You can always get surgery later if you're sure, but you can't undo it.
I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret the time I lost and the mental anguish I put myself through. I don't regret it in the sense that it led me to where I am now, but I regret believing it was the solution. My thoughts on gender now are that it's okay to be a masculine woman or a feminine man. You don't have to change your body to fit a feeling. I'm just me, a woman, and that's finally enough.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
18 | Felt severe discomfort with female puberty and hated my developing breasts. |
19-20 | (During COVID lockdowns) Spent increasing time online, identified first as non-binary, then as a trans gay man. Transitioned socially with friends and online. |
21 | Passed as male at university but lived as female at home. Began to experience deep dissociation. |
22 | Saw a detransition video online that profoundly impacted me. Started non-affirming therapy. Began the process of detransitioning. |
23 | Fully detransitioned and returned to living as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/ppalgaengi:
People online aren't really capable of nuance. It helps me to remember that many of them don't interact much with the real world – either because they're still very young or they're just adults who spend all their time on the internet.
I know I started to act a bit like them after the first few months of COVID lockdown, but as soon as I started living in the real world again I realized how ridiculous and mean I had been to some perfectly reasonable people.
As others have said, it sounds like dissociation. I'm diagnosed with the extreme version of this (DID) and my entire life as a 'trans man' was one of the things I didn't seem to remember at all after I 'woke up' and detransitioned (I remember now, after therapy and such)
I never even came out to my family. I got lucky that, even when I was passing as male at my university classes, I could still easily pass as female whenever I wanted to, so I never had to come out to anyone I didn't want to. Only friends and online communities (echo chambers of affirmation) knew I was a 'trans gay man.'
I detransitioned because I went to a good therapist and learned to love and cherish my body as it was naturally meant to be.
You shouldn't base your identity on your partner's wishes. That said, surgeries are permanent. If you're feeling any doubt at all, you shouldn't go through with it. You can always get the surgery at a later date when you are sure, but you can't undo the surgery once it's been done if you come to regret it. I also strongly urge you to seek some help with quitting the porn. It's horrible for you, your mental health, and your perception of sex, intimacy, and self – but even worse for those who are exploited to make it.
I felt the same way when I was 18, as did many of my female friends in high school. I'm now in my mid-late twenties and glad I didn't go through with any surgeries or permanent procedures, and only one of those women I knew ended up getting any sort of operation (breast reduction). I know we all hate to hear, "You'll grow out of it," from older adults, but our teenage years really are very emotionally, mentally and socially difficult, which gives us all sorts of complicated feelings about our selves and bodies. None of it makes you transgender if you don't identify as such.
I would wait it out and see if you feel the same way at 25 (I can't think of any reputable surgeon that would even consider such invasive and complicated surgeries on someone under 25-30 years old to begin with). If your feelings haven't changed, then the option for surgeries will still be there. If they have changed, then you'll be relieved you didn't make any permanent mistakes when you were younger, because I know I am.
I think this mindset sets unrealistic expectations and is harmfully misleading. I have met many young people who expect to be no different from biological males or females, only to end up in a state of perpetual disappointment – I was even one of them. Every step they take in their transition adds more dysphoria when they realize what they've done to themselves still hasn't made them a biological male or female. Women are women, trans women are trans women – Men are men, trans men are trans men. There's some overlap between them, but there's even more differences.
This has been on my mind a lot lately, especially since I work in a loud warehouse and more often than not, people can't even hear me calling their name when I'm standing right next to them. I have to tap shoulders to get anyone's attention, and it's a serious safety issue, because I need to be able to yell for someone to stop the machines at certain points during my shift so I don't get hurt when performing certain tasks. Hoping someone answers with advice.
There are a few cases I know of where young women are suing their doctors for operating on them as minors, despite having had their parents' consent throughout the process. I believe the basis of their lawsuits is lack of informed consent and coercive practices. If you or your parents can access a good lawyer, it's definitely possible.
I'm mixed Palestinian/Korean and detransitioned last year)) I had internalised a lot of the racism and misogyny that are so severe in the country I live, but I've been so much happier since embracing it and it makes me happy to see other WOC doing the same! You look amazing!
I just want to say thank you, for being vulnerable and sharing these things so publicly. I want you to know that you are helping people. I saw your first video on Twitter back in October/November, and it flipped some sort of switch in my brain and kick-started my detransition journey, I'm now fully detransitioned and back to living as a woman. And like another commenter said, you look a lot healthier and happier than you did in that first video. Your skin in particular is really glowing, and it looks like your hair is growing back very healthy as well :) Wishing you so much more of the best.