This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is nuanced, self-reflective, and consistent with a desister's experience (someone who questioned transition but did not pursue it medically). They express a personal, non-dogmatic view that acknowledges the complexity of gender dysphoria and critiques both trans and detrans communities, which is a credible stance for a genuine individual.
About me
I started questioning my gender as a teen, feeling internally androgynous and uncomfortable with my female body. I went back and forth for years on whether to medically transition, but I’ve ultimately decided against it as an adult. A huge turning point was learning to see my physical sex as just a neutral fact, not something that defines my expression. Now, I focus on being strong and healthy through weightlifting, which has helped me make peace with my body. I just try to be myself, mixing masculine and feminine styles without worrying about labels or how others see me.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been a long and winding road, and I’m still on it. I guess it started in my teens. I’ve always felt internally androgynous, and that’s something I think will always be true for me. I still prefer gender-neutral names and pronouns. For a long time, I seriously questioned medical transition. I flip-flopped on the matter a couple of times since my teens, and now I’m well into adulthood and still feel a bit in limbo about it all. I think I probably always will be, and that in itself is a good enough reason for me not to medically transition.
I’ve come to a point where I’ve desisted, at least partially, even if I go through social roles like they’re underwear for the rest of my life. I think a lot of us remain dysphoric on some level, and I’m no different. I used to hate my breasts and had a lot of physical discomfort, especially during puberty. But I’ve found that the best thing for me is to just be as honest and unrestrained in my own presentation and self-expression as I can. I try not to obsess over how other people see me or whether I “pass” or not, because I found that obsession to be really limiting.
A big turning point for me was realising that I could just let my physical sex be the objective and relatively unimportant thing it is, like having arms or hair. It’s not the end of the world if people can tell I’m female. In fact, it’s been freeing to not focus on that so hard. I’ve started incorporating some feminine accessories into my style, which I was too afraid to wear for ages because I thought it would ruin the image I was trying to project. I’ve noticed that sometimes when people detransition, they lean really heavily into their birth sex's stereotypes, and it can come off as unnatural, like they’re overcompensating. I just want to be me, not a caricature.
Taking really good care of the body I have has improved my relationship with it immensely. I got into lifting weights. I’m hardly Adonis—quite average, really—but it made me largely forget about physical dysphoria because at least I’m healthy and strong. It’s a good thing to be fit and strong; women don’t have to be weak little waifs. This focus on health helped me see my female self as something I could build up and be proud of, rather than something to escape from.
Looking back, I can see how some of my feelings were influenced by things like escapism and a kind of internal pressure. I also had what I guess you’d call an AAP (autoandrophilic) kink in my teens, but I lost interest in that over time. I think people's kinks and sexualities can change naturally, and trying to force a change just causes more turmoil.
I also held onto the language of being trans longer than I needed to, sometimes just so I wouldn’t “lose my seat at the table.” Even when I wasn’t trying to pass anymore, I’d still use that language online because I felt my opinion wouldn’t matter as much otherwise. It’s awkward sometimes talking to trans friends now; I relate to what they’re saying, but when I join in, I have to talk in the past tense, and I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching or rubbing it in that I moved on. I’m just chatting.
I don’t regret exploring my gender, but I am glad I never medically transitioned. I’m all for bodily autonomy, but I think there should be an age limit for medical transition, and I wonder if 18 is even too young. I believe in more thorough therapy beforehand to rule out less risky ways of dealing with dysphoria first. But blanket bans are a terrible idea; they’d hurt more people than they help and would probably just push things underground, leading to more health complications.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s very individual. The trans community’s insistence that transition is the only way is wrong, but so is the dogmatic view in some detrans spaces that transition is always wrong. It’s a problem I’ve seen in this community too, where people who are questioning but might end up staying trans aren’t treated with the same respect. It just becomes the same kind of aggression from the other side. For me, the answer was to stop trying to fit into a box altogether and just be myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teens | Began feeling internally androgynous. Experienced puberty discomfort and hated my breasts. Had AAP feelings. Started questioning my gender and began flip-flopping on the idea of transition. |
| Well into Adulthood | Decided against medical transition. Embraced an androgynous social identity but stopped trying to "pass." Focused on self-care like exercise and weightlifting, which greatly improved my body image. Started incorporating feminine accessories into my style. |
| Present Day | Identify as androgynous but desisted from medical transition. Use gender-neutral pronouns. Focus on health and self-expression without obsessing over labels or how others perceive my sex. |
Top Comments by /u/prander:
Terrible idea tbh. I'm all for bodily autonomy. I want an age limit for medical transition and wondering whether 18 might even be too young. And more thorough therapy leading up to it to rule out less risky dysphoria treatment first. But blanket bans will hurt more people than it helps and will probably end up in more black market hrt and backstreet surgeons resulting in even more complications for people.
This experiment probably helped clarify where you stand, so if being trans suits you best then godspeed. The trans community's insistence that transition is the only way is wrong as we all know but so is the detrans community dogma about transition always being wrong. It's very individual. It's a problem I'm having with some of this community actually, like on discord, very dogmatic. Questioners who are more likely to stay trans at the end of the day don't get treated with the same respect as a questioner who is moments away from detransing. Sometimes bordering on actual aggression. It's the same old shit TRAs do in reverse.
People's kinks and sexualities can change over time naturally, I used to be AAP in my teens but lost interest. But it can't be forced. And I don't think it should be forced. That causes way more unneeded turmoil than accepting what you're into and finding the safest outlets. Consciously trying to rid yourself of a kink will just gives it more presence in your head. It doesn't work.
I'm in a very similar boat. I still feel internally androgynous and prefer gender neutral names and titles and pronouns, I always will. But don't want to medically transition even though I questioned it before. It's lead to a more easy going approach to social as well. I've found so far the best thing is to just be as honest and unrestrained in my own presentation and self expression. Trying not to obsess with how other people see me or whether I pass or not, because it can be limiting. I like the odd bit of feminine accessories and was too afraid to wear them for ages. Let physical sex be the objective and relatively unimportant thing it is, try to think of it like having arms or hair or something. It's not the end of the world if people can tell what sex you are, it's freeing to not focus on that so hard. Just keep being you and dressing, acting how you want. Also, taking really good care of the body you have will improve your relationship with it. It did for me. Exercising, eating well, stuff like that to be the best version of your female self. I got into lifting and though I'm hardly ardonis, quite average really, it made me largely forget about physical dysphoria because atleast I'm healthy.
2 weeks is nothing you can just go oops I was mistaken nevermind. There's nothing wrong with going through phases at your age, you're still growing. Even adults change over time. It might be a bit embarrassing to admit but it won't be as embarrassing as if you didn't update them for ages!
That's a mood honestly. I've flip flopped on the matter a couple of times since my teens and I'm well into adulthood now and still in limbo. Probably always will be. Which is good enough reason to not medically transition tbh and desist atleast partially even if I go through social roles like it's underwear until I die of old age. I think a lot of us remain dysphoric on some level.
I've noticed this too, I think sometimes it's a case of allowing oneself to indulge in femininity or masculinity we didn't allow ourselves in other to pass. I've starting incorporating some femme into my aesthetic, but it really wouldn't feel natural to go full on hyperfeminine and wear strange clothes that make me physically uncomfortable. Other times I think it's overcompensation if prior medical transition really did a number on the person's appearance, so is basically being trans all over again. Ideologically motivated detransition comes off a lot less natural including when they're leaning heavily into their own sex's aesthetic or stereotype.
You just have low body fat you're hardly Johnny Bravo. What's wrong with being well muscled anyway? It's a good thing to be fit and strong. Women don't have to be weak little waifs and since you're no longer on T you're not at risk of becoming super bulky if you did exercise more. If anything doing more exercise while eating a bit more will thicken you out in all the right places! Non-roided out fit women don't look like men.
That's understandable, I sorta kept the pronoun stuff going longer than I needed to so I don't lose my seat at the table. Even though I wasn't even trying to pass and hadn't been for ages, I would still use gender speak to refer to myself especially online. Because I knew that whatever opinion I had wouldn't matter as much otherwise. I can't say "as a..." to soften the impact of potentially going against the grain, in a discussion. When I'm talking to trans friends and I relate to something they're saying I feel like I make things awkward when I join in, because of the use of past tense. And if I'm talking in past tense I have to follow with what I do differently in the present tense. And I don't want to rub it in that I moved on or sound like I'm preaching or something. Because I'm not, I'm just chatting.