This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's story is highly specific, emotionally raw, and internally consistent over time. They describe a male detransitioner's unique experience (estrogen-induced breast growth and a botched vaginoplasty) with complex, nuanced feelings about surgical options, therapy, and finding community—all hallmarks of a genuine person grappling with a traumatic medical history. The language is personal and passionate, not scripted or propagandistic.
About me
I was born male and my journey started when I went to the hospital during a severe mental health crisis. I was put on estrogen and pushed into a surgery that left me feeling mutilated and infertile. I was afraid to detransition for a long time, but I realized I can't run away from being a man. I am now trying to find a therapist who can help me deal with this trauma and make peace with my body. I have many regrets, but my focus now is on my mental health and moving forward.
My detransition story
My whole journey started because I felt so terrible about myself and my body. I was born male, but for a long time, I didn't feel right. I ended up going to the hospital because I was going to kill myself. That’s when things really started to change, but not in a good way.
I was put on estrogen. I really hate the breasts that grew on my chest because of it. I also got pushed into having a vaginoplasty, and now I feel like the area between my legs is a mutilated mess. It’s botched. I don’t identify as a cis man, I am a cis man. The estrogen and the surgery tried to make me into something I’m not, and now I have to live with the results.
For a long time, I was afraid to detransition. I was so worried about what it would mean and how people would see me. But I realized I can't run away from myself. I’ve been trying to do that for so long, and it’s why my body was mutilated. Hearing that was what I needed to hear, even though it was hard. Trying to move forward is really difficult when I feel like I’ve lost so much. I lost my penis and I’m now infertile, and I have to find a way to accept that.
I’ve been looking into what can be done. I’ve researched penis transplants, but I wouldn’t want one because you have to take anti-rejection drugs for life. The idea of a lab-grown organ transplant seems like a better possibility, but I don’t know if that will be viable in time for me. Phalloplasty has gotten better, and it wouldn’t be 100% the same, but it might give me at least a proxy and make me more comfortable.
Finding help has been a struggle. It's been hard to find a good therapist who actually wants to help me and knows how to deal with this kind of trauma. My new doctor is supportive but doesn't really know what to do. I also struggled to find a support space that isn't super transphobic, or religious, or right-wing. I think I really need to learn how to make peace with what happened to my genitals. I’ve heard that radical acceptance and DBT could be helpful for dealing with these emotions and the trauma.
Looking back, I have a lot of regrets. I regret ever starting estrogen and getting the surgery. I thought doctors were there to prevent this kind of thing from happening to people, but that wasn't my experience. Now I just have to focus on my mental health and moving forward, as hard as that is.
Here is a timeline of what happened:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Age not specified, but likely young adult) | I was going to kill myself and went to the hospital. This is when my medical transition started. |
| (Approximately 6 months after hospitalization) | I had been on estrogen for about 6 months, which caused breast growth. |
| (Age not specified) | I was pushed into having a vaginoplasty surgery. |
| (Present time at time of comments) | I am detransitioning, living as a man again, and dealing with the physical and emotional consequences of my transition. |
Top Comments by /u/programmertrap:
I don't identify as a cis man I am a cis man. To answer your question though for like the last 6 months or so after I went to the hospital cuz I was going to kill myself.
Because it's not who I am. I really hate the breasts on my chest and the mutilated mess of tissue that's now between my legs. I'm just not female.
I thought doctors were there to prevent this stuff from happening to people
You can't run away from yourself
That is so true and I have been trying for so long and now my body was mutilated cuz of that. Thank you for that it's what I needed to hear. Trying to move forward is hard when I feel I lost so much. But I have to for my mental health. The trouble has been finding a good therapist who actually wants to help me.
To clarify I'm male. Estrogen made me grow tits and got pushed into a vaginoplasty which is why I feel mutilated now. Looking into anything I can do and my new doctor is supportive just doesn't know what to do.
Yeah i have been in touch with them a bit and looking at their articles
It's covered where I am and yeah I have looked into it and I would not want a transplant to be honest cuz I would have to take anti rejection drugs my whole life if anything I would like lab grown organ transplant but not sure when that will be viable and not sure if I can wait. And honestly phallo has gotten really good in the last decade it won't be 100 percent the same but it would at least make me more comfortable having at least a proxy.
Yeah it's also been hard to find a space that isn't super transphobic or religious or right wing.
I've been so worried about stuff like this for so long and was afraid to detransition because of it.
I use he/him pronouns. Yeah I've been looking into the bio engineering stuff and that seems like a possibility. Getting over all this pain from the past several years is difficult though.