This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic persona.
The user's posts display a consistent, deeply personal, and emotionally complex narrative about their gender dysphoria, social transition, and consideration of medical intervention. The internal conflict, specific details about their life (moving, therapy waitlists), and the nuanced, evolving nature of their thoughts are not typical of scripted bot behavior. The language is natural and contains the kind of contradictions and self-doubt one would expect from a genuine person grappling with a difficult decision. Their passion and frustration align with the warning that detransitioners/desisters can be angry about the harm and stigma they've experienced.
About me
I started feeling wrong in my body when I hit puberty and my chest developed, and I began having a deep, unexplainable desire to be male. I socially transitioned a few years ago, but I always felt ashamed of being trans, not proud of it. I was so distressed I considered ending my life, and I felt trapped between being miserable as a female or taking a chance on medical transition. After a lot of reflection, I realized a lot of my struggle was with puberty and low self-esteem, and I decided not to pursue hormones. I don't regret my social transition as it helped me cope, but now I'm focused on learning to be comfortable with myself away from all the online pressure.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I hit puberty. I was content being a girl as a little kid, but once my body started changing, everything felt wrong. The first and biggest discomfort was my chest developing; it made me feel sick and like something was seriously off. I also started having these daydreams about being a boy. It wasn't about what boys got to do in society—I didn't care about that—it was just a deep want to be one, for no reason I could really explain.
I figured out these feelings were called being trans just before it became a huge thing all over social media. I ended up socially transitioning a few years ago. Because I moved around a lot, not many people know I'm trans; most just assume I'm a guy, which I prefer. I'm not proud of being trans at all. Honestly, I feel ashamed and disgusted by it, especially because of how a lot of people online treat it like a trendy identity and not a medical thing. I worried that my shame was a red flag.
I've thought about medically transitioning a lot. I'm nearing the legal age to consent to it, and where I live, you have to go through a year-long waiting list and a ton of therapy first. I saw that as a good thing, a chance to really figure myself out. I felt stuck between two miserable options: be miserable living as a female, or be miserable but with a small chance of being happy if I transitioned. My discomfort with my body was so severe that it got in the way of me functioning normally, and I had tried to end my life over it a few times.
I considered that maybe my feelings came from an unstable childhood or some other mental problem, and I even wished conversion therapy was easy to access just to make the feelings stop. I felt a lot of pressure, like I had to try transitioning to see if it worked, and if it didn't, I could always detransition later.
Talking in this community helped because people here weren't scared to be honest. It made me realize I needed to figure this out for my own validation, not anyone else's. I decided to keep going on the path I was on and see how I felt when I got closer to making a medical decision. I thought that if hormones made me happy, then that was the answer, and if they didn't, then I'd find another solution.
Looking back, I think a lot of my struggle was with puberty discomfort and low self-esteem. I hated my breasts and my developing female body shape. I was deeply unhappy and looking for a way out. I don't regret socially transitioning because it felt necessary at the time to cope, but I never went through with medical transition. I'm still figuring out how to be comfortable with myself, and I'm trying to separate my own feelings from all the noise online.
Age | Event |
---|---|
11-12 | Hit puberty. First major discomfort with chest development. Began daydreaming about being a boy. |
14-15 | Figured out these feelings were related to being transgender. Socially transitioned around this time. |
17 | Currently on a waiting list for therapy to potentially access hormones, still questioning and unsure. |
Top Comments by /u/proshopbasshat:
Thank you that's really supportive of you. I am just worried that maybe I'm not? It could be some type of imposter syndrome. I'm young and a lot of people my age on social media are the type of people to be like "you don't need gender dysphoria to be trans!! " and they make trans people look weird. I can't tell if it's the same to do with that or if I'm having imposter syndrome like feelings or if I'm not actually a trans dude. It's hard to talk about this in trans communities because they're filled with people my age who are the chronically online queer kids if you get what I mean. I feel like detrans people would be a lot more open with discussing doubts with transitioning and such as a whole.
Perhaps, I think it's less of a societal thing for me and more of a personal thing. I do of course, like every human being on this planet care about other's validation, but it seems like I'm wanting my own validation if that makes sense? Im not too worried about stereotypes if I were to try living comfortably as my own sex, I just end up having a bad mental reaction to being told that it's what I am. I either a) need to find a way to be okay with that or b) just keep going on the path I'm going and if that results in transitioning, see if that is the best option for my situation.
I socially transitioned a few years ago, and due to moving not many people know I'm trans, most just assume I'm a male if I'm lucky enough. Ive tried to be a girl when I was younger and after I first came out and got very unhappy with it, maybe if I were to try for a few months again it might be alright but I'm worried that might screw up my social life and be quite embarassing if it's all for nothing and it ends up I'm still uncomfortable. It's a good idea regardless though! I'm gonna definitely pass on that one, but I think I'll just continue how I am and keep in mind everything when i get closer to medically transitioning if I chose to do so. If medically transitioning makes me happy, it makes me happy. If it doesn't, something else will. I know medically transitioning isn't a cure all solution at all. It won't ever make me completely satisfied but who knows it may help. Being able to talk about it in a space like this where people aren't really scared to give their opinions trying to tiptoe around ppl who throw around the term transphobic to anyone that says anything they don't like has really given me room to think and take other's experiences into consideration. This is actually a really nice subreddit :).
I've been dysphoric since I've hit puberty. I know I was content with being a girl as a child, before I really cared about anything at all. I also used to wish I was a boy as a kid, I didn't have dysphoria as a child or nothing but I would daydream about it and wish I was one of em. I wish I looked like every teenage boy I saw cause I thought it would be so neat. It had nothing to do with what boys got to do in society or anything, I never really cared about that just being one for the sake of I'm not really sure, being one? The discomfort that came first was definitely the chest. That was a big one for me and it still is. It made me want to throw up and it felt wrong. I'm more used to it now, I still hate it but I've been forced to be mildly used to it. After that the desire of wanting to be male/percieved as one kind of came back but I wasn't too sure what it was. I sorta just figured it out from there, this was briefley before the whole social media trans thing got out of hand and spread like a wildfire. I'm not quite sure how to live as a woman and I'm not sure I'd want to. It just again, seems wrong and I don't know why. Women are great, I love women I just can't fit myself into that box. I'm not sure if I have some mental problems or childhood ones or whatnot but I'm worried that maybe it's because I had unstable living environments as a kid and therefore didn't get the proper childhood experiences?
It definitely gets in the way of me functioning like a normal human being, that is true. I just find that I don't wanna identify as trans due to a handful of trans people especially online making it an "identity" and not a thing you are yknow? I've socially transitioned and am nearing the legal age of medically consenting to transitioning so I'm on my way there, but I'm not proud of being trans in the slightest. I'm ashamed and disgusted by it and because of this I'm worried that's a red flag for transitioning
I ain't an extreme right person but I'm the Canadian definition of conservative. I've only dated cis people, and none of em were extremely liberal. It could be where you live or the okeple you know. Or maybe there's another reason people won't date you? I'm unsure but in my case I've had a good fair amount of luck with the dating pool
Taking T has as much health side effects of other medical things, I ain't scared of that one but thank you for letting me know.
I have to think about my body all the time already, the fact I'm not taking it makes me think about my body A LOT. Not taking T and seeing my body develop more and more female is making me think about the fact I am not born the sex I wish I was. Looking in the mirror and seeing my body shape does the same. Looking down at myself. Seeing my face. If I had to apply estrogen cream so be it, I'd make sure I'd be seeing a doctor regularly and stop the T if I had any problems like that. I have a chest that serves as a reminder that I am female. It seems like a lose/lose situation.
I pass okayish, a lot better than most younger trans guys you see on social media. It's just as I'm getting older, it's not working out so well for me. I worry about if I pass regardless it really seems like a lose/lose situation if I were to transition or not.
I have two options: be miserable as a female, or be miserable with a small chance of being happy as a man.
I don't know how to be more comfortable with myself. Being told the negatives aren't helping me see the positives if you get what I mean?
I'm not sure if transition is worth it at all, but also I know I have been so unhappy with myself (especially relating to my sex) that I've tried to honestly end my life a few times. I'm not sure if I need to try out transitioning and then if it doesn't work just detrans, in order to prevent myself from getting to that point again and again and again or if I need extensive therapy to make myself stop being delusional and live as a female. I wish conversion therapy was easy to access.
Where I live, you need quite a bit of therapy to get hormones. I'm being put in a waiting list quite soon, it takes a year of waiting and then A LOT of counseling after that year. I think by then I should have it mostly sorted out. Im stealth in person, due to moving quite a bit so no one expect for close friends know I'm trans. If people ask I tell them I'll crack a joke about my balls not dropping (I have not yet received a teenage growth spurt, maybe I'll get it in my 20s) most people just assume the little guy is gunna be a squeaker anyways. If I were to try living as a woman again, that could possibly be embarassing and weird and there's the risk of me being harassed for it and such and Im not in the best mental place for that right now, I might try it out in the summer to see how it goes though!
Anyways thank you man for sharing your experiences and thoughts!