This story is from the comments by /u/punk_enby_phllplsty that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed history: They share specific, consistent details about their medical transition (starting T at 16, top surgery at 18, hysterectomy at 19) and the subsequent emotional and physical journey of detransition.
- Complex, nuanced views: Their perspective is not simplistic or purely ideological. They express regret over specific procedures while also acknowledging that their transition was a necessary part of their personal journey. They criticize both gender-affirming care practices and conservative co-opting of detrans narratives.
- Emotional resonance: The comments reflect a deep, personal, and often painful engagement with the subject matter, including grief, anger, and a struggle for self-acceptance. The language is conversational and varies in tone, which is consistent with a genuine person.
The user's passion and criticism are consistent with the lived experience of a detransitioner who feels harmed by their experience.
About me
I started testosterone at 16, believing it was the right path after feeling pressured to prove I wasn't just choosing to be a woman. I later realized my transition was heavily influenced by past trauma and other mental health struggles I hadn't dealt with. I had top surgery and a hysterectomy, which I now deeply regret. After stopping testosterone, I've learned to accept myself as a female who doesn't conform to traditional gender roles. I'm finally at peace with my body and my story, focusing on healing instead of labels.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager, feeling out of place and confused about who I was. I was born female, but I never felt like I fit into the typical ideas of what a girl should be. I joined my school's LGBTQ group because I knew I was bisexual and wanted to find a community, but it was there that things got really confusing for me. During a discussion, I mentioned that kids often say things like "I wish I was a boy" without meaning they're trans, and someone immediately asked if I identified as a girl. That question shook me—I'd never thought of it as an identity I had to choose; I just was female. It felt like I was being boxed in, and I started to resent the idea that not transitioning was a choice to stay female. That pressure, that groupthink, made me feel like I had to prove I wasn't choosing to be a woman, and eventually, I thought the only way to do that was to transition.
I started testosterone when I was 16. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. I was dealing with a lot of internal struggles—I had experienced sexual trauma, and I think part of me wanted to escape my female body because it felt vulnerable and associated with that pain. I thought becoming a man would make me stronger and safer. I also struggled with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, and I was later diagnosed with autism and dissociative identity disorder (DID). I didn't know it then, but these issues played a huge role in why I pursued transition.
When I was 18, I had top surgery. I hated my breasts—they didn't look like what I thought women's breasts should look like, and I felt uncomfortable with them. Removing them felt like a solution at the time. A year later, at 19, I had a hysterectomy. I was starting to have doubts about staying on testosterone, but I was terrified of having periods again. I thought getting rid of my uterus would solve that problem forever. Now, I deeply regret that decision. I mourn the ability to carry a child, something I never thought I'd want but now feel a loss over.
Around the time of the pandemic, I started to crack. Being isolated made me realize that my transition wasn't really serving me anymore. I was scared to detransition because I thought it meant I had to become a traditional woman, which wasn't me either. I explored nonbinary identities for a while, but eventually, I stopped testosterone cold turkey. It was tough—my hormones went crazy for a bit—but my body adjusted. Being off T helped me start to reconnect with my female body in a way I hadn't before. I began to appreciate aspects of it that I'd taken for granted or hated.
Now, I see myself as a gender nonconforming female. I don't really use labels like "cis" or "trans" anymore—they feel too limiting. I've learned to accept my body as it is, even with the changes from surgery. I have a flat chest, a deeper voice, and some facial hair, and sometimes I get misgendered, but I try not to let it bother me. I've embraced my androgyny and fluidity in how I present myself. I wear suits for work and sometimes get called "sir," but other times I'm seen as a woman. I've learned that my worth isn't tied to how people perceive my gender.
I don't regret everything about my transition. It was a necessary part of my journey to understand myself better. It helped me work through a lot of my issues, even if I wish I hadn't made some permanent changes. I benefited from exploring my identity, but I also think there should be more caution and better therapy before young people are allowed to make these medical decisions. I was influenced by online communities and friends, and I didn't have the support to explore my trauma and mental health issues fully before transitioning.
I'm now in a better place mentally. I have a partner who loves me for who I am, and I've found peace in accepting my body and my story. I still struggle sometimes—I think about breast reconstruction or electrolysis for my facial hair, but I don't want to get caught up in another cycle of trying to fit a mold. I'm focusing on healing and living my life without fixating on gender anymore.
Here's a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started testosterone |
| 18 | Had top surgery |
| 19 | Had hysterectomy (kept ovaries) |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone |
| 22 | Fully identified as detransitioned and embraced my female identity |
I hope sharing my story helps others feel less alone. It's okay to change your mind, and it's okay to be who you are, whatever that looks like.
Top Reddit Comments by /u/punk_enby_phllplsty:
Unlike a lot of other commenters I will say for me, I never wish I was born male anymore. I wouldn’t be me—there is no telling who that person would be and I think the hypothetical of waking up in a different sex body with your current conciousness is not bery useful, and exaccerbates dysphoria. I stopped wishing that before I admitted to myself that I was detransitioning. I don’t really ascribe to the idea of being cis now either, I am female I am comfortable with that now but for me cis and trans seem more conceptual than anything.
This is largely a venting post, I just need someone to understand because this is something I’m constently struggling with as I try to explore my sapphic side more. I know other women who like women are dealing with this. Being detrans I look back to some weird experiences I had being fetishized by trans women when I was a teenage trans guy. I feel gaslit about this, often. This is a sensitive topic so if you respond hatefully I’m not gonna be my most empathetic self.
EDIT: update, I was banned from the app :) any suggestions of sapphic dating apps that don’t police preferences so heavily?
Oh, and it happens to me when I am not saying any talking points about making transition illegal or an ideology being completely responsible for my gender confusion. So miss me with that “most only hate on gender critical people.”
People don’t want to hear an experience that contradicts their own experience. The reality is many experiences are contradictory because human beings are complex.
You can be androgynous. Many of us in this subreddit know that rigid gender norms are a big contributor to our negative relationships with our sex. Explore the androgynous, feminine, masculine, or fluctuation between them all that you can be. Know that your body is yours—you have the power to reproduce but what you value most in life is up to you. I got a hysterectomy out of these fears and feelings you describe, and only a few years later I mourn the pregnancies I will never carry. Maybe you will never want to carry a child—and that is okay, not all female people do. But you don’t need to remove parts of your body for the sake of avoiding this, it is the pressures of this world that made me feel I had to get rid of my uterus to prove how much I didn’t want to use it. Had I been more assured of my autonomy, I would have been able to just say “I don’t think I will ever want to do that” without that procedure.
I feel this so hard. I felt very similar to you in thinking you would fit in best as a queer man who bi men might be into. I do like women, but I have always known I liked men too. I think it is something a lot of us struggle with. The truth is, there ARE men who find tomboys attractive—like my current partner. He loves masculine or tomboyish women, he loves a combination of masc and femme traits. But we are all told we could only be attractive as a lesbian.
2 months is nothing honestly, you will be fine. Try to relax yourself as most of yourn concern ahout your body is all just coming from your mind. There will be minimal effects, and no I don’t think you will have hair loss.
Good for you for realizing your mistake quickly.
I feel you. People wil either blame the individual or their parents—my parents were trying to follow the professional advice and everything they saw said “just affirm and support unconditionally.” How can they deserve the blame? And how was I supposed to reflect on whether this was right as an unbalanced teenager?? That’s why there are therapists involved in the first place so if they aren’t going to explore all possible causes of the issue what are they there for?
I think some people can be considered transexual. It may be a social/cultural thing, we don’t really know for sure. But it is a particular experience and some people seem to find success and happiness in it.
I just think therapists and doctors need to exercise more caution and explore more possibilities with people before diving into hormones and surgery. They need to stop insisting we don’t exist and make people aware that most of us at one point felt sure we would always want to be the other gender, and then that changed.
I started testosterone when I was 16. Then I had top surgery at 18 and a hysterectomy at 19.
I feel that even though I was a legal adult for the surgeries, there should have been more scrutiny given the fact I had adjusted to being trans as a developing teen, so it would have been a big deal in my life to change my mind in my eyes.
Edit: By the way I grew up in New England in the USA. And when I was coming to add this edit I noticed I got a downvote LMAO—ur gonna downvote a statement that I made purely about my own experience growing up. Mkay.
I think for me it was because as a young girl, I hadn’t been fully indoctrinated into socially constructed gender yet so I could see that females have a lot in common with males. I could see that dresses and other feminine garments were trying to distinguish me as female, but I didn’t see my body as womanly yet at all. Not really different from a guy.