This story is from the comments by /u/purplebicycles that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "purplebicycles" exhibits no serious red flags and appears to be authentic. The user demonstrates a deep, personal, and emotionally complex engagement with the detransition experience, including:
- Personal, Specific Detail: The user shares extensive, specific, and medically detailed accounts of their own detransition (e.g., type of mastectomy, hormone dosage, side effects like incontinence and insomnia, research into breast reconstruction options).
- Emotional Authenticity: The comments display a wide and nuanced range of emotions consistent with the trauma of detransition—grief, anger, regret, compassion for others, and self-reflection. The tone is not robotic or repetitive but varies appropriately with context.
- Consistent Narrative: The user's story is consistent across comments, referencing their own history (e.g., being on T for two years, having a double mastectomy, a history of eating disorders, a specific therapist experience) multiple times without contradiction.
- Engaged Dialogue: The user responds directly to other users' posts with empathy, advice, and personal anecdotes, creating a coherent conversational flow. They admit to not knowing answers, ask follow-up questions, and engage in debates, which is atypical for a bot.
- No Scripted or Propaganda-Language: The language is personal, nuanced, and often uncertain. The user critiques systems and ideologies but from a place of lived experience, not from a scripted, rhetorical position.
Conclusion: This account shows all the hallmarks of a genuine person sharing their difficult and passionate lived experience as a detransitioned woman. There is no evidence to suggest it is a bot or inauthentic.
About me
I started questioning in my twenties and later began testosterone, believing it was the only answer to my pain. My double mastectomy, approved after a single month of therapy, is my biggest regret and has left me feeling like an amputee. I stopped hormones and my mental health improved, but I was left with a body forever changed by surgery. I've learned my desire to transition was rooted in internalized misogyny and a disconnection from my body, not a true identity. Now, I'm a gender-nonconforming woman working to heal and find peace with the body I tried to escape.
My detransition story
My name is [redacted], and I am a detransitioned female. I want to share my story from my own comments to help others understand this experience. My journey with gender started in my early twenties when I began questioning. I came out as non-binary first, which felt like a stepping stone. A few years later, during a very stressful time in my life, I decided to medically transition. I believed it was the only way to fix the deep discomfort I felt.
I started testosterone in my late twenties. At first, it felt great, like an antidepressant. But that didn't last. I developed severe anxiety, insomnia, and it felt like battery acid was shooting through my veins. My cortisol levels were through the roof. I was on T for two years.
During that time, I also had a double mastectomy. I got my surgery referral from a therapist I was seeing for an eating disorder. She wrote the letter after seeing me for less than a month. There was no real assessment. No one asked me hard questions or tried to understand my history. I told them about my other mental health struggles, but that was seen as normal for someone transitioning, not a red flag. No one explained the real risks of surgery to me, like nerve damage or phantom pain. I learned about those things on my own from websites.
I deeply regret my mastectomy. Losing my breasts is the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like an amputee. My skin is numb and tight, and I can feel my ribs in a way I never could before. I am now looking into breast reconstruction, but it’s a huge decision with many risks, and I’m terrified of more surgery.
I stopped testosterone cold turkey about six months ago because my doctor said it was okay. Shortly after, I became extremely suicidal, likely from the hormonal crash. My period returned after seven weeks. Since being off T, my mental health has improved. The intense anxiety and insomnia are gone. My hairline, which receded on T, is slowly growing back.
I’ve come to understand that my desire to transition was rooted in many things: internalized misogyny, internalized homophobia (I am attracted to women), a history of an eating disorder, and a deep disconnection from my body. I was running from womanhood because I had been taught to hate being a woman. I dissociated from my body to avoid pain. Transition felt like an escape, but it was actually a form of self-harm that professionals enabled.
My therapists throughout this process failed me. They encouraged me to dismiss my doubts as "internalized transphobia." When I finally told one I needed to detransition, she was shocked and defensive. I found a new therapist who understands detransition and is helping me with the trauma and grief.
I now believe that better mental health care, with real differential diagnosis and compassionate exploration of gender distress, is crucial. The current system, especially in the U.S. with informed consent, rushes people into medical changes without ensuring it's right for them. This needs to change to protect people, especially young women and lesbians who are often caught in this.
I don't believe in a "true self" inside that needs to match the body. I believe we are our bodies, and the goal should be to find peace with that, not change it. I am working now on accepting myself as a gender-nonconforming woman and healing my relationship with my body, even though it is forever changed.
Here is a timeline of my transition and detransition:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 21 | Began questioning my gender. |
| Late 20s | Came out as non-binary. |
| Late 20s | Started testosterone therapy. |
| Late 20s | Underwent double mastectomy (top surgery). |
| Early 30s | Stopped testosterone and began social detransition. |
| Early 30s | Regretted surgery and began processing the trauma of transition. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/purplebicycles:
I’m so sorry this happened to you... you didn’t do this to yourself alone, others also bear responsibility, the doctors and therapists who didn’t help you understand and have realistic expectations for the outcome. I’m so sorry for your pain and suffering. And you’re not alone in this experience. I feel very similarly about my own surgery, though I didn’t have genital surgery or a hysterectomy. I feel similarly about my mastectomy. It’s a lot. So much. Too much. No one should have to go through this. I wish something could be done to help. It’s just so painful to go through. I hope you get the care and support you need. I hope you are able to lean on those friends who want to listen to you and support you in your struggles. All friendship and connection is valuable.
This has been a tough one for me. I opted to tell my female trans identifying friends who I knew were planning to have mastectomies within the next year that I regretted mine. I felt it was important to share this with them, tell them about my experience and that I was detransitioning. I did this over text message with two. Told one over the phone. And the fourth I was more of acquaintances with but was friends with their partner. I talked to the partner in person. These are all four they/them non-binary female trans identifying. Three have been on testosterone. And one hasn’t.
The two friends I texted I didn’t ever hear back from, and I haven’t talked to them since. The person I talked to on the phone (was never on T and never changed name) did decide to put their mastectomy on hold and re-examine everything. We’ve been in touch a fair amount. The fourth I didn’t have direct contact with - I talked to their partner. The partner was not really supportive of me (she’s female and never identified as trans) and I believe her partner had a mastectomy last month. We don’t talk anymore and that’s partly my choice, considering how she reacted to what I shared with her about my experience of having mastectomy.
I went into these conversations with the sole agenda of sharing a perspective and experience I hadn’t been exposed to before I had surgery. I had never talked to anyone or really heard of anyone regretting their trans mastectomy before I had mine. I hadn’t heard any stories of detrans women that I related to before I had surgery. I wanted to share perspectives and information for them to consider because I wish someone had done that for me. I didn’t really talk about the ideological stuff with most of them, but I did send resources to a couple of them that had content that critiqued gender identity. I have only maintained contact with one of them out of four... and that might be due to how I know that person, I’m not really sure. I think that person has been more open to listening to me.
So, yeah... I guess it might be a good idea to talk in person? That wasn’t an option for me considering where I was at mentally and emotionally at the time (and where we are all located). It was time sensitive because at least two were planning to have mastectomies this past summer (one did).
I would say go into it knowing where your boundaries are and how open you will feel comfortable being. It is likely wise to center in your own experience (what motivated you to transition, why are you detransitioning, what has your experience been) and you could also share other resources if they’re open to it. A conversation in person might be a better approach. And don’t go into it hoping you can prevent them from transitioning, of course.
Hope this helps somewhat.
Kayla’s psychiatrist forced her to get SRS and it traumatized her so deeply she felt like she couldn’t live through it. This is horrifying and many of us are experiencing similar things. It makes sense for us to be angry and upset at the unnecessary medicalization of gender nonconformity and gender dysphoria. And the whole mess.
I know we’re all feeling a lot of pain and distress. Please be kind to each other and show some compassion for different ways of reacting to Kayla’s suicide. We are all struggling. If you have something you’d like to share, maybe you could leave a separate comment expressing your feelings about our loss of Kayla and what she went through.
This is not the complete form, just the list of effects with timeline. I have communicated with some transmen on this sub who were not aware that vaginal atrophy is an expected effect for females taking testosterone (though my doctor did not explain that urinary incontinence was part of vaginal atrophy). Thought this might be helpful to some. There are complete informed consent forms online if you do an Internet search
I was on t for two years and have been off for six months. My hairline is coming back (a lot, it really is) and getting thicker. I have a lot of fine hairs around where my hairline receded but it is definitely coming back and I’m hopeful it will return to where it was pre t over the next several years.
I should add, the hairs started out very very very fine as they were coming back and now have grown out a bit and are much thicker
I think it may be a trend as much as other diagnoses in the history of psychology/mental health professions have been trends... for a long time, children were being over diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Other fads have been ADHD, borderline personality disorder...
People do really have those disorders, but for a while medical and mental health professionals were over-diagnosing these until they were better understood and defined. And people still get misdiagnosed a lot, too.
Transgender is a whole different complex issue as it is a culture, an identity, a mental illness, and a diagnosis that supposedly requires medical intervention... And the criteria for Gender Dysphoria is very loose and what causes any of the symptoms associated with Gender Dysphoria is not well understood.
Go to family therapy. Figure out how you can support your kid with the help of professionals. You may need to change, too. Things you’re doing might be contributing to her feelings. But you need to go get some real help rather than trying to ask strangers on the internet. We don’t know you or your kid. Anything we say will be very limited. If you’re serious about helping your kid, go to family therapy and be open to self reflection, difficult to hear feedback, and how you may need to grow and change in order to support her.
I’ve been able to actually work on my mental health problems in a real and meaningful way. I’m more humble (less arrogant; detransition and trauma is an incredibly humbling experience) and real with people. I take risks when it matters, and at times when I might have been too scared before. I’m more honest and open with myself and others. I’m more in touch with myself. I’m more congruent and integrated. I’m more in touch with my body.
I feel healthier, and I am excited about not damaging my liver anymore.
My hairline is coming back!
My girlfriend is calling me by my given name for the first time ever and it’s really amazing and gives me warm and fuzzy feelings.
I’ve learned a lot about grief, despair, and death. And also learned about how much I value my body and my health.
I’ve made friends with some pretty great women. And discovered the grief and joy of womyn’s space.
Some red flags are rushing through transition and I think also being unable to explore doubts?
It’s a really good idea to get help exploring why you don’t want to be seen as a woman, as this is something you identified before. I can relate to that feeling very strongly. If you can, it might be a good idea to talk to gender nonconforming women and older women about their experiences and see how similar your experience might be. I think it’s important to get help from people with lots of different perspectives, not just people who will confirm that yes, you are trans. I got locked into one way of thinking about my distress around gender and found later (when it was too late, I would say) that understanding myself as a gender nonconforming woman made a lot more sense for my experience and fit better than explaining my distress and discomfort with being a woman as due to being trans. Realizing this also helped me work on my gender issues and come to a deeper understanding of where my distress around gender was coming from and why I started transitioning and went through with surgery. I related a lot to other non-binary females and trans/gender nonconforming males. And I don’t think I was able to relate to them because we were all trans, I think it was because we were all gender nonconforming and had distress around gender. To me, being connected to this group made me think that I was trans. I wish that I had a chance early on to connect with other women who were gender nonconforming women and lesbians. I wish I had access to spaces that were female centered. I think that would have helped me realize transition wouldn’t help me and that there were other women like me who were gender nonconforming and didn’t see themselves as trans. I kind of had limited options in terms of how to understand my experience at the time.
Anyone else experience insomnia and anxiety on T? I mean like cortisol at astronomical levels that felt like battery acid shooting through my veins
I’m sleeping so well now that I’m off it, despite dealing with all the grief and BS from having a traumatic and unnecessary mastectomy