This story is from the comments by /u/purplemollusk that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "purplemollusk" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The user shares a highly detailed, consistent, and personal narrative of being a female who medically and socially transitioned (FTM) for several years before detransitioning. The comments reflect deep personal reflection, nuanced opinions, and a range of emotions consistent with someone who has experienced this specific trauma. The account engages in supportive, empathetic conversations and offers advice based on lived experience, which aligns with the behavior of a genuine member of the detrans community.
About me
I was a young girl who felt a deep dread about growing into womanhood, influenced by my strict religious upbringing and online communities. I was put on puberty blockers and testosterone as a teenager after therapists and doctors dismissed my concerns. A doctor later told me my body was failing and pressured me into a surgery I never wanted, which was my wake-up call to stop. I’ve since detransitioned and, after years of healing, am finally comfortable living as a woman again. I now focus on my health and happiness, believing I just needed to accept myself as a gender-nonconforming female.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really young, around 5th grade. I remember sitting in class and imagining myself as an adult woman, maybe wearing a wedding dress, and feeling this deep sense of dread, like "I hope I don't grow into that." I was fine being a girl until then, but I started to feel incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of becoming a woman. I was raised in a very religious family, and I think I felt simultaneously sexualized and infantilized by adults. It felt like my sexuality and self-expression were controlled and "owned" by others, not by me. I somehow deluded myself into thinking I'd go through male puberty instead. I didn't even know the word "transgender" back then.
Things got worse when I started using the internet around that age—it was the perfect storm. I was also autistic, which I found out when I was 18, and I always felt alienated from other girls. I didn't understand the social rules. I was a tomboy and liked wearing clothes from the boys' section, and people, including the world at large, tried to convince me that because I didn't fit the mold, I wasn't really a girl. I internalized a lot of misogyny from my family, especially my dad, who was vehemently against abortion and thought women had one role in life. I admired men and idealized them, wanting the freedom I thought they had.
When I was 14, I started seeing a "gender therapist" who specialized in LGBTQ youth. I was a people-pleaser with abandonment issues, and I’d say whatever I thought adults wanted to hear. She wrote an approval letter for puberty blockers after only three months of therapy. I was put on Lupron for a year. I remember being handed consent papers and told to sign them quickly to get started. I had concerns about testosterone, but they were dismissed as anti-trans propaganda. I started testosterone injections at 14. My mom was fully supportive, even vouching for me to get a hysterectomy and top surgery, which I had said I never wanted. My dad was against it but hesitantly called me "he" out of respect, though he admitted he never saw me as a guy.
I socially transitioned for about two years before that, so by my mid-teens, I was living fully as a guy. I was on testosterone for about four and a half years, then used the gel on and off for another year before stopping completely when I was 23. So my whole medical transition lasted about five to six years. During that time, I experienced a lot of changes. I grew thick facial and body hair, my voice dropped significantly, my jaw became more square, my brow bone grew, and my hairline receded. I got terrible cystic acne all over my face, back, and shoulders. I felt pushed into it by my doctor, my therapist, and the trans circles I was in online, like Tumblr. I had bad body dysmorphia that I mistook for gender dysphoria. I was also assaulted as a kid, which made me disconnect from my body.
The turning point came during a doctor's appointment when I was around 22. I went in to get my hormone levels checked, and the doctor told me my body couldn't handle the testosterone dose I was on. She said my ovaries were starting to decay and that I'd need to have them removed or stop testosterone. I was shocked because I had explicitly said from the very beginning that I never wanted any kind of bottom surgery. I argued with her, reminding her of what I'd said, but she kept pushing for the surgery over two more appointments. I felt lied to and like she didn't care about my well-being. I went home and thought, "What the fuck am I doing?" I stopped the injections, tried the gel for a bit, but then stopped completely. I realized I had to focus on my body dysmorphia and mental health instead of trying to fix a problem through medical intervention.
Detransitioning was a slow and embarrassing process. I didn't make a big announcement. I just slowly grew my hair out—it’s down to my ass now—and I got bangs to cover my hairline, which never came back. I started wearing women's clothes and let the effects of testosterone wear off until people grew uncomfortable calling me "he" and started asking if I was still trans. It took about half a year for my hormones to settle before I got on birth control. My period took a year to return and about two years to become regular. My body fat redistributed to my hips, thighs, and chest, and my face filled out. My skin got much clearer and softer. My voice is still deep—deeper than my boyfriend's—and I sometimes get called "he" over the phone, but in person, people see me as female. I kept my male name and just try to play it off.
I’m 29 now, and I’ve been living as a woman again for years. I’m much happier. The embarrassment phase has passed. I feel more at peace, more comfortable in my body, and I have more clarity of mind. I have a boyfriend whom I met a year into detransition, and he’s known about my past from the beginning and doesn't care. I lost some trans friends when I detransitioned, but I still have a few trans friends today. We're friends based on our actual relationship and common interests, not on shared identities.
I definitely regret my transition. My quality of life went way downhill. I think I was young, autistic, alienated, and influenced by online spaces and professionals who should have known better. I don't think medical transition is healthy, especially long-term, and I particularly don't think minors should have access to it. I was lucky I didn't get the top surgery I had booked or the hysterectomy I was pushed towards. I’m now dealing with the long-term effects, like joint and muscle pain, and I have a bone density scan scheduled because of the time I spent on Lupron. I wish I had just been allowed to be a gender-nonconforming girl without being pushed to medically transition. There are so many ways to be a woman or a man, and we don't need to change our bodies to fit in.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's largely about roles and expectations, but you can't change your sex. I'm a woman because I'm an adult female, and that's that. I don't stress about identity politics anymore. I focus on living my life—eating healthy, exercising, staying in touch with friends, engaging in hobbies, and wearing clothes that make me comfortable. I have empathy for trans people; I know what it's like to feel dysphoric and to be mistreated by the world. But I also believe in acknowledging reality. I just want people to be happy and healthy, and for me, that meant accepting my body as it is.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 5th Grade (approx. 10-11) | First remember feeling intense discomfort at the thought of growing into a woman. |
| 14 | Started puberty blockers (Lupron) for one year. Started testosterone injections. Had already been socially transitioning for about two years. |
| 15-22 | Continued testosterone therapy (injections, then gel). Lived socially as male. |
| 22 | Doctor appointment where I was told my ovaries were deteriorating and was pressured to have them removed. This was the major catalyst for my detransition. |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone completely. |
| 23-25 | Period of detransition: grew hair out, changed wardrobe, hormones balanced. Started birth control. Period returned after a year. |
| 24 | Moved across the country to start over. |
| 29 (Present) | Living as a woman, comfortable and happy in my body. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/purplemollusk:
This might be ridiculous to say but I haven’t looked up my old gender doctor because I know that reading her interviews and seeing her face online is going to make me so depressed and I’m going to get angry, and I’m not going to be able to actually reach her or be truly heard or change anything. It’s so frustrating.
I actually went on a camping retreat when I was 16 with the doctor who prescribed me puberty blockers and a few members of her medical staff…weird right?? She’s the most popular gender affirming doctor in my whole state, so she has plenty of power. We literally talked about trans stuff with medical staff while bonding over a bonfire.
i’m not right wing, probably some people on here are. but i honestly don’t care about “right vs left.” i think the biggest separation is class, and that the upper class is trying to create all this infighting so ppl with less $$ are easier to control. they want us disconnected from each other, and feeding the economy. idk what the point of fighting ppl thru my phone is so i don’t do it. i don’t hate trans people at all either. i just want to be healthy tbh
aside from it fetishizing women and pregnancy, it’s more concerning for the unborn baby who would be directly at risk. males can already contribute to conception tho…it does take two. but by sterilizing themselves with estrogen they would never be able to do this...
i get being upset about the “role” you’re given in life. it’s just luck to be conceived as either male or female, not like we get to choose, which does kinda suck. i don’t really believe in judging someone else or looking down on them unless i’m willing to help them back up. we all come up with coping mechanisms in order to protect our brains from things that are hard to deal with.
I guess maybe bc their life quality improved when they transitioned? Mine didn’t, it drastically lowered. So I guess they think we’re lying about our own experiences. I don’t really care if other people transition, they’re gonna do it anyway. If it works for them, thats great. I still wanna be able to share what happened with my own medical transition… so it can prevent ppl who might relate from having a similar bad experience.
I recently got called a “terf” for the first time last week, shortly followed by “kill yourself” lmao… It was from someone I had never interacted with before. I looked thru my posts and hadn’t said anything against trans women. I don’t have anything against them, I know they’re always going to exist and I want them to thrive too. But they clearly don’t care about us…so I’m not sure why they want our support? I just wanted to talk about female genital mutilation that happens around the world… first time I’ve ever even brought this topic up. I feel detrans women can maybe relate to that, since many of us had invasive surgeries. And then this person made a long post about how “ppl who believe in biological essentialism have rotted brains” and how “hell isn’t hot enough for them.” So yea idk. I know I’m not completely a good person, but I don’t understand why they’re wishing hell for me just bc I care about women who were mutilated …?
I wish there were people who could acknowledge that trans women are often subjugated and harassed in society, that trans men are often subjugated and treated terribly, feminine men and masculine women who don’t conform to gender norms are treated badly, AND that being born female causes subjugation from the moment you’re born … all based on our sex. It’s like the oldest form of oppression that permeates nearly every society, and it’s still treated like a joke that women are just whining about. Both female oppression and transmisogyny exist, and they can overlap in experiences sometimes, but they aren’t totally the same. Talking about one form doesn’t dismiss the other. I really wish males would try to understand this. And that there’s no ~correct woman for it to be morally okay for them to threaten with rape. Bc a lot of “progressive” men will direct threats of alienation, social isolation, rape, assault, murder, etc towards women who ARE actually awful or incredibly privileged (like female politicians) …..bc they just want to be able to threaten a woman who they feel deserves it.
Yea I’m not even going to read the rest of these after seeing the first page, but those people have the empathy of a brick wall.
I don’t hate trans people and don’t want to sleep with them, i felt almost obligated to include them in my dating pool for awhile in order to not be transphobic. But I have no interest in them romantically or sexually. I just want to live happy and healthy and function in life, yet they seem to hate us. Don’t give them the satisfaction of giving this any attention or even reading it
i think you’re very feminine and pretty. you have a heart shaped face, a cute pixie cut, and warm eyes. you don’t have extreme/striking features but that’s what gives you a soft look. clearly a woman. i’m not blowing smoke up your ass. i know this sub doesn’t like a focus on validation, but it does help cognitive functioning and instill more self worth in people who were usually pushed down at a young age. it’s a slow process but as long as there’s progress its ok feel really plain looking most of the time.
and my mom said stuff like that to me too. she wanted me to get a hysterectomy, top surgery, and would threaten to shave my head in my sleep. then would deny all this later. what ya gonna do. i wish u luck on your journey <3
Yea I don’t really understand that sub so I just stay away from it. When I read the description of it, I realized it wasn’t for me and muted it. Thats none of my business…
I detransitioned after 4 years on testosterone, one year on puberty blockers, and about 7 years socially identifying as male. I can’t speak for you… but it was worth it for me, considering the distress I felt. I didn’t feel I was able or “worthy” of aging into an adult woman, bc I felt so alienated from other women. So I thought I was better off being masculine and at that point, might as well transition.
No agenda here… but I imagine it took a lot to get yourself to transition in the first place. It felt like a long uphill journey to get to a point where I “passed.” It felt the same way to detransition. But was just something I needed to do. I feel a lot more at ease in my body for once in life. Good luck to you !
Yea, only once and it was immediately after my first post on here. Never happened again, but I deleted the post bc I got discouraged, and kinda wish I hadn’t deleted it now. They trying to get me to agree with them and I barely replied bc I didn’t want to “feed the bait,” but their comments were like 50% on porn posts.
Still…I’ve never gone onto a trans forum and messaged the people on there or corrected them. I’ve never directly dm’d anyone mean or snarky things, anonymous or not. I stay in my lane… I’m not interested in their space at all. Yet sometimes it seems like they want this space to be inclusive of them, and their space to inclusive of only them. I know they’re not all like this, since I still have some irl trans friends, and in the world everyone is mixed with everyone and it’s good to expand our worldviews. But it’s pretty frustrating dealing with them online since people are more emboldened. I’m in this sub bc I want to help other detrans people and be supported too, not argue with trans people