This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally raw, and internally consistent over time. They describe a specific, long-term lived experience of medical transition (7-10 years on testosterone), detransition, and the resulting severe physical and psychological consequences. The narrative includes deeply personal struggles with health, relationships, and trauma that are not typical of a bot's scripted content. The language is passionate and contains the anger and pain one might expect from someone who feels they have been profoundly harmed. The account's authenticity is further supported by its nuanced and self-reflective nature.
About me
I started transitioning as a teenager to escape my abusive father and self-hatred. I lived as a man for over ten years, taking testosterone and having surgery that permanently changed my body. The regret destroyed me, leading to a deep depression, an overdose, and serious health issues. I now realize I was running from my trauma and that I am a woman who can't go back. My biggest regret is not listening to the little voice that knew it was a mistake.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was a teenager. My parents were getting divorced and my home life was a nightmare because my dad was an alcoholic and abusive. He would constantly ridicule me for being "soft," and I became so disgusted with that part of myself. I wanted to be tough so I could stand up to him instead of just ending up in tears. I felt like an ugly, boyish girl and I couldn't see a future for myself living that way.
I started going to therapy when I was 16 because I was so unhappy, but we never talked about my dad or the real problems. Instead, my therapist, who called herself an expert on trans clients, told me she thought I was meant to be a boy just because I was a tomboy and aloof. I latched onto that idea. It felt like an escape from all the pain and self-hatred. You could not have told me I would ever regret it.
I started taking testosterone when I was 18. I passed as male without a doubt and lived that way for over ten years. For a while, it gave me a kind of euphoria, like I had done the impossible. But that feeling didn't last. The reality was that I had turned myself into a freak show. I got top surgery and chopped my boobs off, which I had hated. The hormones made me infertile, took almost all the hair on my head, and covered my body and face in thick, dark hair.
Trying to deal with the hair is a daily nightmare. I have to shave my face twice a day, and even when I do everything I can, wear makeup and a wig, I still get called "sir" because of my voice. I'm a 30-year-old woman and I get called a boy all day. It makes me not even want to go outside.
When the regret first hit me, it destroyed me mentally. I fell into a deep depression and got into drugs and terrible situations. I ended up in the hospital on my birthday a few years ago after an overdose; they had to bring me back from death. I don't even remember a lot of what happened, but I was used by people who just wanted to fuck me. I got HIV from that time and my teeth are ruined. I feel like a ghost, just barely here. Sometimes I wonder if I actually died in that hospital and this is hell.
I lost all my family when I transitioned, and I lost almost all my friends through this. My health is shit. The only person I have now is my boyfriend. He's a feminine straight man who is now struggling with thinking he must be trans because he can't accept his own gentle qualities. He had exes who were emotionally abusive and made him feel ashamed. It hurts my heart to see him because it reminds me of how I felt. I think he, and maybe a lot of people, hyperfocus and obsess over their fears until they manifest them. He doesn't like to hear about my regrets because he thinks it threatens his own identity, but I just want him to know it's okay to be a man and be a sweet, gentle soul. I support him, but I worry.
Looking back, I realize my transition was a way to run from my trauma and low self-esteem. I was running from being called a lesbian and from the parts of myself my dad hated. I thought changing my body was the answer, but the result isn't a man. It's a woman with a man's voice and a ruined body. I wasted over ten years of my life and there's no going back to get that time.
I don't really know what I believe about gender anymore. I think we all overthink it way too much and create all these categories instead of just accepting that we're all human beings with a mix of qualities. I've become more religious through all of this; finding God has given me a little bit of hope and something to hold onto.
I have so many regrets. I regret the surgery, taking hormones, and losing my health. I regret not listening to that little voice in the back of my head that knew it was a mistake. I wake up every day and want to cry. I try to be optimistic and find a reason to keep going, but it’s a struggle. My advice to anyone with doubts is to listen to that voice. It’s trying to tell you something.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started therapy due to parents' divorce and abusive father. Therapist suggested I was meant to be a boy. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 18-28 | Lived as a man for over ten years. |
| At some point in my 20s | Had top surgery. |
| 25 (approx.) | Realized I had made a terrible mistake and began to regret transition. |
| 28 | Had a severe health crisis, overdosed, and was hospitalized. |
| 30 | Now: Detransitioned, living as a woman again but dealing with permanent physical changes and poor health. |
Top Comments by /u/pyrocor:
Thank you for this, I really strongly feel what you're saying. I was one of those 16 year old kids going to therapy because my parents were getting divorced, and my alcoholic and abusive father made me want to die. But instead of talking about any of these things, my therapist, a self-proclaimed "expert" on trans clients, told me she thought I was meant to be a boy, just because I was aloof and very much a tomboy. I ended up convinced that was me, and took testosterone for 7 years, now I'm in terrible health, bald, constantly shaving my face, and looking back I can't believe I let that woman have my trust like that and how could she normalize what was extreme self-mutilation on behalf of helping her add to her credibility as a "transgender expert"
So ridiculous to see how people want to bite your head off just for mentioning God and feeling that it is being pushed on them when that's literally what the transgender cult garbage does to people in the first place.
I'm so happy for you dear, God bless! 🙏💖
I was in a similar boat as you once but from the other side (FTMTF) I started male hormones at 18 because I couldn't see myself living as an ugly boyish woman my whole life. You could never have told me I would regret this. I passed as male with no doubt and lived that way for over ten years.
Then I realized I had fucked the fuck up and there is nothing I can do to go back and get those years I wasted. I chopped my boobs off, hormones took all the hair on my head, made me infertile, and I have so much body and face hair trying to shave/epilate/wtf ever it daily (twice daily on my face) is a fucking nightmare. Even when I do everything I can and wear makeup and a wig I still get sir.
I used to be such an optimistic person and I still try to say there has got to be a reason and that I need to see my life out the best I can. I try so hard but I fucking wake up every day and want to cry because i don't want to even go outside the house. I lost all my friends pretty much, my health is fucking shit, hell I even got HIV. What the fuck did I think this was worth it for? If you are here asking and have any doubt at all that's your fucking answer that's the voice in the back of your head that same one I ignored way back that is trying to tell you this is the stupidest fucking shit you can do to yourself, period.
Yeah I'm one of those in the boat of having been on testosterone for like 7 years and lost almost all the hair on my head while simultaneously becoming covered in thick dark hair everywhere else. And I know laser can fix that but that costs money I don't have because mentally I can barely summon the will to be seen in public let alone maintain a job to make the money to do that... Or just take care of my basic needs. My health also suffered some permanent damage from when it first really hit me that I had messed my life up... I got into drugs and situations that I guess could be considered human trafficking or at the very least letting myself be used in ways I don't even remember by people who just wanted to fuck me. Ended up in the hospital on my birthday a few years ago because they had to bring me back from death because I had ODed and didn't even know it... I've got HIV now and my teeth are fucked. I feel like I'm just barely even here like I'm just a ghost... I lost all my family when I transitioned but there's no way I would want to go back to them anyways. I'm living now in a place that I know pretty much no one except my current boyfriend... He's pretty much all that I have to give me any feeling of hope, and I feel like all I am is a burden to him which makes me feel even worse because I know it hurts him to see me like this. I wish I could see above all this so I could try to get out of it but sometimes I don't even know whether or not I'm even alive or if I died back in the hospital and I'm just in hell now. Fuck.. sorry, I don't even know the point I'm getting at and don't mean to derail your comment but I guess Imma just post it because normally I'd just delete it and I feel like that would defeat the purpose of why I'm really grateful to this forum for being here...
Also as an add on, you think being called a fag is bad? Wait until you're a trans woman and you get called shit like bitch boy. My boyfriend who I've been with for the past four years now thinks he's a trans woman too and when he dresses and presents that way he's gotten insults far worse. He used to enjoy dressing up and going out but after a few times I think he is realizing it is not what he thought it would be and so now he only does it when we are at home on occasion.
He doesn't like to hear about how I feel about my transition and tells me to shut up if I start talking about it because I guess it makes him feel like my regret threatens the validity of his feeling trans. He's not trans, I mean fuck even tho I regret my transition I told him I support whatever he decides to do. I just want him to be happy but holy shit I mean he will dress up but he covered head to toe in clothes, wearing a hoodie and looking like he's trying to hide/disappear and it just hurts my heart because that's how I used to feel to and I'm like baby I just want him to be happy and wish he knew how much I love him and that it's ok to be a man and be a gentle sweet soul.
Ok, so what if you can change a few choice features? The result is not a man. I wish I knew I'd just be a woman with a man voice. It used to give me some kind of euphoria or feeling that I had done "the impossible" but that quickly lost its cool factor when I was left with the reality that I'd turned myself into a freak show.
For real 😭 we are here but in my case this whole FtMtF shit has me losing my mind over facial hair I can't afford to get rid of so I either recluse myself away from all eyes or I go outside and get called a boy all day when I'm a fucking 30 year old woman holy shit idk how long I can go on anymore tbh and I hate saying that
This 100% I mean just take a second and think about it people. Holy shit the whole issue is the fuckin neurotic need we all seem to have (myself included) to keep creating these categories and subcategories and so on to describe in a most nitpicking fashion how we seem to think some modestly popular clique-esque qualities combined in a particular way somehow is suddenly some name-able "syndrome" like... Just holy shit why? We are all fucking humans ok and we all overthink the fuck too much so why don't we all just accept this and stop pretending that's not the case so we can call bullshit when we see it and just be real for once? I think as long as everyone is respectful of one another's individual experiences as human beings then we can and should be open to all views to give perspective to this mess of a rabbit hole.
You know what you wrote about Freddie Mercury just made me realize something because my current boyfriend is a feminine straight man currently struggling with thinking he must be trans just because he can't accept his own slightly feminine qualities that he was ashamed of. And he's told me stories about his exes which unfortunately were a lot of emotionally abusive women. Anyways one of them in particular went around telling all his male friends about those feminine qualities and I think they just ate away at him cuz he has some mad OCD and I'm like... So did these feminine straight men really start out gay, or did they just hyperfocus and obssesss over their fears so much that they actually just ended up manifesting them themselves and even come to get off on it because of how wrong it felt to them?
Because honestly that's how it was for me as a young girl who was made fun of for my slight masculine qualities. Holy shit.
It's all good! Oh, and as an afterthought, I was just thinking... Perhaps, try not to be so hard on yourself, as well? Softness, or meekness, is not weakness!
Something about the way you said that reminded me, that I used to feel like soft was the worst thing I could be. But I eventually realized that feeling came from when as a kid, my dad would constantly ridicule me for being "soft," and so I internalized that negativity so much that I became disgusted whenever I saw that in myself. I think that really was what drove me to transition in the first place, was wanting to be tough so that I could stand up to my dad instead of constantly ending up in tears and ashamed whenever he was in the mood to pick me apart.
It's something that might be painful to think about, but it's ok to let it all out and allow yourself to be both strong and soft and feel the things that really hurt. You are strong and deserve your own compassion dearly! Thanks for listening, I sort of got lost in thought there but it was a moment of clarity I just wanted to share just in case you might relate too?