This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over a two-year period. They describe a complex, non-linear journey of questioning their transition, exploring a "detrans-ish" identity, and making personal compromises (e.g., socially detransitioning while continuing HRT). The language is personal, reflective, and includes relatable human details like fears, conversations with loved ones, and specific physical attributes (e.g., height). This depth and consistency are extremely difficult to fake and are hallmarks of a genuine personal account.
About me
I'm a guy who started transitioning because I felt more comfortable being feminine and struggled with internalized homophobia about being a gay man. I realized I don't actually identify as a woman, so I socially detransitioned and live as a gender non-conforming male again. Even though I use my old name and pronouns, I still take estrogen because I prefer the physical changes. I'm now in a happy relationship and understand myself much better. My journey taught me that I'm just me, a male person who expresses himself in a feminine way.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing, and I'm still figuring it out. It started with me, a guy who has always had a small, petite frame and felt more comfortable being feminine. I liked the idea of wearing feminine clothes and having a softer appearance. Because of these feelings, I eventually decided I must be a trans woman. I identified as trans for about a year and a half and started taking estrogen hormones (HRT).
I was happy with a lot of the effects of HRT, like the fat redistribution, skin changes, and hair regrowth. The only downside for me was the changes to my genitals. But even though I liked the physical changes, I started to have a big problem with the identity part. I realized I don't actually identify as a woman. To me, saying "I am a trans woman" felt like words I was repeating, not something I truly believed. Gender itself has no real meaning to me. I don't identify as female because that's not true; I was born male.
A few things played a part in why I transitioned in the first place. One was internalized homophobia. I went to Catholic school and was surrounded by anti-gay sentiment. I rejected the church young, but that environment still got to me. I believed it was okay for other people to be gay, but not for me. I didn't allow myself to explore being a gay or bisexual man. Transitioning felt like a way to give myself permission to be with men without facing that internal shame. My height was another factor. I'm only 5'3", and as a guy, I got teased a lot about it. My first girlfriend even told me I'd be perfect if I were taller. Transitioning felt like a way to escape the pressures and insecurities that came with being a short man.
After a while, I began to question everything. I spent a lot of time reading gender critical ideas online, and a lot of their core beliefs made sense to me. I had to figure out how to reconcile that with the fact that I was transitioning. I realized that transitioning doesn't make someone a bad person, and I needed to find what was right for me, not just follow an ideology. I also started to hate the pressure to "pass" as a woman. I had one experience at a friend's lake house where his conservative family totally saw me as a woman, which should have felt like a success. But instead, I was filled with anxiety, terrified they would find out I was trans and treat me differently. It showed me that even "passing" came with a heavy mental burden.
I decided that I needed to be more honest with myself. I began to think of myself as a gender non-conforming male rather than a trans woman. This was a mental shift, a kind of mental detransition. I started talking to my friends and family about it, showing them some of my posts from online support groups. Their warm and accepting response was a huge relief. They cared about me being happy, not about my labels.
Socially, I detransitioned. I went back to using the masculine nickname I had growing up and he/him pronouns. I haven't legally changed my name back from my very feminine chosen name yet, but I plan to. Medically, it's more complicated. I stopped HRT for about six weeks to see how it felt. Stopping made me realize that I actually do want to stay on hormones. I'm afraid of my body masculinizing again, and I like the physical changes I've had. So, for now, I'm a man who takes estrogen. I accept that this means I'll be on medication for life, and that's a burden I'm choosing to carry because I prefer how I look and feel on it. I don't think medical transition is the right answer for everyone, and I believe many people can find happiness through self-acceptance without it. But for me, at this point, it's a personal choice that works.
I don't really have regrets. My journey brought me to a place where I understand myself much better. I'm more comfortable in my skin now, even if my situation is unconventional. I'm in a happy relationship with a man who knows all about my history and accepts me completely. My thoughts on gender are that it's not a solid, real thing for me. I'm just me, a male person who expresses himself in a feminine way and takes hormones to maintain a body that feels right for me.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Before transition | Felt comfortable with feminine expression but struggled with height-related teasing and internalized homophobia. |
| Around 20-21 years old | Started identifying as a trans woman and began MtF HRT. |
| 21-22 years old | Began seriously questioning my trans identity after about a year and a half on hormones. Started exploring gender critical ideas. |
| 22 years old | Started talking to close friends and family about my doubts. Mentally shifted to identifying as a gender non-conforming male. |
| 22 years old | Socially detransitioned: switched back to my birth nickname and he/him pronouns. |
| 22 years old | Stopped HRT for 6 weeks, then restarted after deciding I preferred the physical effects. |
| Present (23-ish) | Living as a detransitioned male who continues HRT. In a relationship and generally content with my current path. |
Top Comments by /u/questioningwhereweis:
I also feel similar to you. I don't like the fact that transitioning is pushed as the main way to 'escape' dysphoria. I think it can be worked through with a healthy mindset change. I think a lot of people end up having worse dysphoria after transitioning, because the perceived imperfections, which were easily ignorable before, become front and center stage. And I hate that telling people they don't have to transition and that they can take different routes to a happier/healthier life, but that can often be shouted down as conversion therapy
I took the route of staying on HRT, and instead mentally detransitioning/practicing radical self acceptance. Personally I quite like the effects of MtF HRT, and am not significantly worried about negative health effects. I don't worry about the health consequences as much as I worry about being on medication for the rest of my life. It's easy now, but how will I feel in 5/10/50 years? I think I could live quite easily without HRT at this point, so if I stop in the future so it is.
as a 5’3 male, i definitely understand what you’re feeling when it comes to heightism and how it impacts the male experience. the male privilege one experiences varies soo much depending on other characteristics outside of sex. i wasn’t treated like shit as a short male (before i transitioned), but i received regular teasing - which even if meant in jest, still hurt to be constantly reminded about. especially combined with the fact my first girlfriend told me i’d be perfect,,, if only i was taller. i’m not sure if i was less respected by others, but i didn’t even respect myself as much compared to other people. how have you been treated like shit since transitioning?
has transitioning made you more comfortable in your body? in what ways?
oh i agree, i didn't mean to come off totally dismissive. i agree transitioning can works for others, i know not everyone hear agrees. transitioning is a life altering path, but regardless of if it works for you forever, i don't think it can ever fix all your problems. being realistic about what problems transition will address and which ones it won't should be a huge pre-transition internal discussion. some problems will persist, hopefully some will be resolved, but new ones will also be introduced.
there are lies, damn lies, and statistics.
most of the statistics are incorrect on both sides imo. there are soo many hurdles to collecting accurate trans/detrans numbers. i do think detrans rates have only possibly increased, due to easier hormone access and a greater available community. but i can’t truly prove this
but even if there was only one detransitioner that was public, detrans would be still be a trans discussion topic. one vocal person is sometimes all it takes to challenge ideas
i went back to my nickname i had growing up. my birthname was very masculine where my nickname is more androgynous, and ive always liked my nickname more. but i havent legally changed my name back from my very feminine trans name, and when i do im not sure what ill make my full legal name.
i have been in the questioning period for 8 months now, making this account was the first step. it's difficult not knowing what to do, all this internal strife going on and i'm quiet about it with most around me. i still live a trans life and nothing has changed except the way i think about myself/transition,, but where do i go from here?
i have been opening up more to people around me. do you have good social support? i'm lucky to have some friends and family that i can talk to about this: without feeling judged, without them talking behind my back, or pressure to make changes going from that conversation. just being honest, that i am unsure of what choices to make. i ask them to listen, and even have them read what i've written here. they've helped quell my fear of detransition with their positive + warm response bc they want me happy. they see my character and judge me positively bc of that, my sex or identity or presentation doesn't matter so much. but ofc those are the people i trust most, and if those people represented everyone i think the world would be better. it's everyone else that scares me.
for me personally, detransition would start with going back to my birth nickname and he/him! i think that will be a big step for me
i’m also questioning my transition a lot. as opposed to you i definitely do not love my male form, and that’s what pushed me to transition combined with much more. if you love your male form, why do you desire a female form? you even recognize that going to the gym is more realistic than surgery and medical burden.
haha that quote is supposed to highlight how statistics often tell lies, so i agree they’re screwed on both sides!
personally i’ve switched HRT clinics, and when i switched i didn’t inform my previous clinic. not all those lost in follow up are detransitioned. this is where getting statistics is truly difficult. you can’t force everyone into participating in these number collections, so you can’t know why they left. i really hate the idea that the primary reason for detransitioning is society/transphobia,, there’s been no real basis for this claim.
something going from invisible to a big button issue does speak a lot here
trans issues have ballooned in the last few years, so it’s expected imo that detrans rates and discussion would eventually follow. i agree there’s a lot of neglect happening, especially when it comes to overprescribing younger children.
you can let go of labels right now. outwardly that won’t immediately change much, but it may help you reach more internal peace. and then you can start vocalizing your feelings + experiences to those around you. if your presentation doesn’t change, then people will only know when you say something.
i am in a similar spot,, i’ve only started recently talking with my family (only one sibling so far) about my shifting identity. i showed them some of what i’ve posted on this account as a starting point. i ‘identify’ more as a gnc male, rather than a trans woman. having the conversation didn’t change who i was,, i am still a male who takes HRT, but now i am being more honest imo
being a feminine looking confident male is difficult,, you need to allow yourself to shine where many around you may try and bring you down. rock your voice, it is yours and beautiful because of that. exist without caring about pronouns. some old people will avoid you regardless.
I struggle with being understood by others, but I just accept the fact that most people will make incorrect assumptions about me. It is not my job to try so hard to inform people about who I am. If they spend time around me, they'll come to understand me better.
Thank you for making me feel not as alone :)