Your post can be summarised in "I'm not like other girls". Sorry if it sounds rude. But the use of a word "chick" towards your theoretical self kinda gives it away.

Anyway. You don't have male mannerism, you don't speak in a maskuline way. You said it yourself, you're a tomboy. Tomboy is not a man, tomboy is a woman that is boy-ish.

I'd say that: don't go into any trans stuff until you get over this disgust towards everything feminine, towards women themselves. Because you can be a trans man, but not a man, and that little fact that you was born female wil be always there.

There's many women over there, and you won't believe how many of them aren't classically feminine. Just normal everyday women. And they are people first, and their sex/gender second.

I had a person on a discord server rant abour how people irl always gendered them female, yet people on the internet were always polite and respected their pronouns.

And I thought how bizarre that was. Like... that was so obvious to me. You are female irl, because not only you are, but you also wear dresses and makeup. You are anything else on the internet, because on the internet you only shape yourself with your words.

You are what you say you are in the first place, because people respect each other's right to be anonimous. (Now that I've said it, it clicked in me that this community moved from the internet to the real world, yet stayed detached from their bodies and kept pretending to not notice. And demanded everyone else to not notice, too. Wow.)

Maybe try and be openly happy about who you are now? Like you went through it, you understood yourself and now you have inner peace, and you're just... showing it. It's your family, why wouldn't you share what makes you happy? There's no guarantee it'll make your sis look up to you, though, bc you have distance ralationship, but I bet she wants to just be happy with herself. Show you how happy you're with yourself - bc you are - and she might get interested. Also show that you don't have to have the same opinion on all the things with other people (the fuck terfs moment). You can just. Not talk about the topics you don't share an opinion on and still be friends. Or not throw someone on the internet into garbage bc you have 1 (one) thing you disagree on. (Aka. How trans people and allies would put a "this post was made by a terf" label on even if the post has nothing to do on the topic. It's about crochet. Cute kittens. Climate change. )

Also, if someone tells you your opinion isn't walid bc you weren't actually trans: are people who had depression and win a fight with it never had it?

I think that's because a lot of ftmtf detransitioners are already comfortable with masculinity, so now they're trying to come at the same terms with feminity they rejected before. And also I assume it's easier to dress less feminine and still be percieved as a women after your feminine features have came back. The second one I assume is true, bc as desis I'm pretty tomboy-ish and fine with it.

I had a thought while reading that it would be funny to continue the story, but made this character detrans lol. It would be only fair since I assume it was a reflection of your own issues back then.

But honestly it feels like it'd be too bothersome and kinda toxic towards yourself, since you haven't only moved on from being & idolising transness, but also from fanfiction. Like, it's a past thing. Better push it away and not be stuck in it.

But you're neither? You're a woman who struggled on her path, and now you've accepted yourself. So just use women's? If you make other women uncomfortable, I'm pretty sure they're the ones who'll get the same reaction with a tomboy or any non-feminine girl.

I mean. You don't have to tell people on the internet "I detransitioned". You can change the pronouns you use without mentioning the word detrans, and if they will be first to bring this up the flow of the conversation would be in your favour. Though I wouldn't recommend sticking with them if they're all trans, later it might trigger the desire to retrans when you'll be vulnerable. "Because they're my friends, and they're trans and happy! I want to be happy too! Maybe I'll try one more time."

Tbh i think dropping trans label might be like. Dropping being goth. You tried it, you explored yoursel, you didn't like it. The end.

Not sure about the whole yaoi thing... wanting to be like a cool fictional character you know is a thing, but the question is do you, yourself, want to change things about yourself while staying yourself or do you want to be more like the character? You can surely dress or act like one, but changing your body... do you have a strong picture of yourself? Can you say "this is the character I like, and that's what differentiates us"?

But overall your situation seems fine to me and you don't really look like you're in the need of it. This is true that it's easier to build muscle mass when you're a man, but idk, maybe you don't need to transition - maybe you need a dose of T to help with it? Idk though if it's a thing, I'm not a doctor, but you surely can ask yours about it.

Flat chest, too, doesn't have to be completely flat? But I don't have enough info on it. If you don't like it because it's big or/and uncomfortable, just get a surgery to make it smaller. Small chest is pretty much the same as a flat one. But if you hate it because of its very existence? That's more of the disphoric territory, but nothing in your post points on it.

I'll assume you're a desisted female, considering things in your post. Not sure if it's the case, you tried to say things about detransitioning in the end of it, but I'll go with it.

I am your height, have short hair and sometimes wear clothes from the men section. And I am a woman. I, too, get gendered male sometimes. I also get gendered female. The most important thing in this is that's other people who look at you for the first time and then they have to decide how to addres you, based on the factors they think apply to certain gender.

This says nothing about yourself.

You voiced your own problem already: just like you despiced female stuff, you despice male. Don't. Use it, and make it yours. You are a woman, and you can look whatever you want to look. (P.s. being that much taller than average is cool. You should not be ashamed, we aren't in school. It's something that you posess and others don't. It's only yours.)

Personally I don't see a problem with birth name. I was thinking of myself as a whole different person going by that name, existing in the same time as the one going by another, but once I understood I am myself, I stopped caring about names. I've never officially changed it, though, and I'm not going to, because the experience I went through with that name (including all the mistakes) is the foundation of who I am now.

Though I like how the name itself sounds.

Btw, I go by any other name, including nicknames, and allow people to call me the way they knew me from our first meeting, if we know each other from the internet. It just doesn't really bother me now.