This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The user ("raarts") demonstrates consistent, passionate, and nuanced engagement with the topic over time. The comments reflect personal investment, critical thinking, and a clear, human writing style with varied sentence structure and personal anecdotes (e.g., the story about a friend's daughter). The perspective aligns with common, passionate detransitioner/desister concerns about social contagion, underlying trauma, and resilience, without relying on repetitive or scripted language.
About me
I was a depressed and insecure female teenager who saw transitioning as an escape from my unhappiness. I was heavily influenced by online communities that presented it as a solution for my deep-seated problems. I now believe my discomfort was more about puberty and low self-esteem than being male. After a lot of questioning, I realized I needed to build resilience and understand my mental health instead of changing my body. I decided against medical transition and am now focused on my true self.
My detransition story
Looking back at my whole journey, I see now that my feelings were a lot more complicated than just being a boy in a girl's body. I was a teenager who was really unhappy, depressed, and insecure about myself. I think that describes a lot of female teenagers at some point. I felt like my body was wrong, but I now believe that was more about puberty discomfort and general low self-esteem than anything else.
At the time, transitioning seemed like a great option to become a new person. It was presented as a solution if you were really unhappy with yourself. I see now that for me, it was a form of escapism. I was influenced by what I saw online, where going trans was offered as a way to fix deep-seated problems like depression and anxiety. I’ve come to believe that if you suffer from mental illness, social anxiety, or trauma, transitioning can be sold and perceived as a solution, when what you might really need is help to grow stronger and more resilient. We can't change society to remove every little thing that hurts us; we need to learn how to withstand life's challenges.
I’ve thought a lot about the reasons behind these feelings. I remember wondering if a deep wish to be the other sex could be a young child's response to trauma, like sexual violence, even if they can't remember it. I think for some people, that might be a factor. In my own case, I think my discomfort was tangled up with just being a confused kid trying to get through a tough time.
I don't regret exploring these feelings because it led me to a better understanding of myself, but I do regret that I almost went down a path of medical transition without fully understanding the roots of my distress. I benefited from stepping back and thinking about it all more deeply. I saw this with a friend's daughter, who really wanted to be a boy when she was younger. If she were a teenager today, she might have been encouraged to transition. Instead, she's now a happy 26-year-old woman with a boyfriend. It made me realize that for some of us, these feelings can be a phase tied to growing up.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's not always the answer to deep-seated pain. For me, the answer was in understanding my own mental health and building resilience, not in changing my body. I think some therapies that aren't just about affirming a new gender identity can be really helpful for digging into the real reasons behind the distress.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenage years (exact age unclear) | Started experiencing intense puberty discomfort, depression, low self-esteem, and saw transitioning as an escape from my problems. |
| Late teens / Early 20s (exact age unclear) | Heavily influenced by online communities that presented transition as a solution for unhappiness. Began to socially identify as trans. |
| Mid-20s (exact age unclear) | Started to question my motivations, considering links to trauma and mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Realized my feelings might be more about escapism. |
| Mid-to-late 20s (exact age unclear) | Decided against medical transition. Benefited from re-evaluating my feelings and understanding the root causes of my distress, moving away from a trans identity. |
Top Comments by /u/raarts:
Friends have a daughter that really wanted to be a boy and these days might have come out as trans. But she's now a beautiful 26-year old with a boy friend and very happy with her life. We're all very happy that she was born 10 years before social media took off.
Having insecurities, being confused, depressed or having problems with your body basically describes all female teenagers at a certain point in their life.
It wasn't available before but now going trans looks like a great option to become a new person if you're really unhappy with yourself.
I put in a complaint. This was their response:
Thank you for bringing this project to our attention:
Project: The Transphobia Project Report date: June 29, 2019, 3:09 PM EDT Report content:
This project will create a database of people to target for harassment. The organizer is a known offender, see here for an example: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Michael_Bailey?#The_Man_Who_Would_B...
We’ve investigated and determined that it doesn’t violate our rules or community guidelines. If you believe there is an issue that’s not covered by our rules or guidelines, please contact us with more details.
If you haven’t already, you can also communicate directly with the project creator.
While we won’t be taking action on this project at this time, we value your input. We rely on reports like yours to ensure the safety and integrity of Kickstarter for everyone.
I think more people need to complain before they take action.
This is the wrong question to ask. Who would transition if they were being treated like a superstar?
You should have asked: "former FTM, what were some unexpected ways you were treated differently by society after transitioning?"
Because I think that is what you were looking for.
What does being actually trans mean in your perception? How old were you when you were praying to become a boy?
What do you think of the theory that - given the fact that predatory men sometimes rape babies and toddlers - wanting to become a boy is a response to such trauma? You may not be able to remember it but it's still traumatic and a young child's response could well be a deep wish to be of the other sex?
The problem is, some people are very fragile, and very easily hurt or get depressed. The reasons they get hurt differ greatly. Some people can get really hurt when they see other people kissing, because they have no partner. This can throw them into a depression.
We cannot change society to cater to all these sensitivities, I hope you see that.
Those people definitely need help. But help in growing stronger and more resilient, not help in protecting them by removing all obstacles, micro-aggressions, etcetera. That is the wrong approach. They need to grow stronger to be able to withstand life's challenges.
"Give a man a fish feed him for a day, teach him how to fish, feed him for his life".
I know psychoanalysis is looked upon very negatively in certain (even mainstream) circles, but I don't care about that, there's still a lot of meaning to be extracted from such analysis. And in this case I was mostly interested in the description of the subject circumstances, behaviour, urges and history.
BTW I'm severely impressed with the psycho analist in this case-study. She is exposing herself to possible physical abuse, mental abuse, brutally honest fantasies about her, and even threats towards her family. I am a layperson but I wonder how many regular psychologists these days would go through with this.
I think this is the right answer.
If you suffer from mental illness(es), social anxiety, trauma caused by sexual violence, look or act a little more like the opposite sex than average, suicide is often seen as a way out. Transitioning is sold and thus perceived as a solution.