This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments display:
- Personal, nuanced reflection on their gender identity and transition goals.
- Consistent internal logic and engagement with counter-arguments in a way that reflects a genuine personal stance, not a scripted narrative.
- Emotional complexity, including frustration, hope, and self-doubt, which is common in authentic detrans, desister, and questioning communities.
- A personal history with specific details (e.g., age of discovery, emotional experiences) that feels organic.
About me
I knew from a young age I wanted to be a boy, and finding out medical transition was possible felt like a lifesaver at 14. I started testosterone at 17 and had top surgery at 19, believing it would fix my deep unhappiness. I later realized a lot of my discomfort was tangled with anxiety, low self-esteem, and struggling to accept being a lesbian. I stopped hormones at 22 and now see I needed to work on my mental health first, not change my body. While I don't regret the self-understanding I gained, I deeply regret the permanent changes.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I was a kid, but I didn’t have the words for it until I was about 14. I always just wanted to be one of the boys. I tried to look as masculine as I could and I felt really happy when people would mistake me for a boy. The idea of living my whole life as a woman made me feel sad and hopeless. I didn’t know that transition was even possible, so I felt pretty depressed about it.
When I learned that there were other people like me and that medical transition existed, it felt like a huge relief. It gave me hope. I knew I was a guy, or at least, that’s what I felt. I didn’t have some deep philosophical idea about what a "man" is. For me, it was simple: I wanted to look like one. I wanted a deep voice, broad shoulders, a flat chest, and a beard. Using a male name and pronouns made me feel comfortable and normal, while being seen as a woman felt awful.
I started socially transitioning first, telling people my new name and asking them to use he/him pronouns. It felt good. When I was 17, I started testosterone. I was really excited about the changes. My voice dropped, I started growing facial hair, and my body shape began to change. It felt right. A couple of years later, when I was 19, I got top surgery. That was a huge moment for me. I had always hated my breasts; they felt completely wrong on my body. Getting them removed was a massive relief and made me feel so much more at home in my skin.
I thought about bottom surgery too, but I was always hesitant. I hoped the medical results would get better in the future, so I decided to wait.
But as time went on, things got more complicated. I started to realize that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues. I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem and anxiety. Looking back, I think a lot of my discomfort with my body during puberty wasn't just gender dysphoria; it was also a general unhappiness with growing up and the changes that come with it. I also think I was influenced a lot by what I saw online. Being in trans communities, it felt like transitioning was the only solution to feeling wrong in your body.
I started to question everything. Was I really a man, or was I just trying to escape from being a female person who didn’t fit the stereotypical idea of a woman? I began to understand that I might have internalized some homophobia. I’m attracted to women, and I think part of me was uncomfortable with the idea of being a lesbian. Being a straight man felt easier and more acceptable in a way.
I also realized that a lot of my drive to transition was a form of escapism. I was deeply unhappy, and I thought becoming someone else—a man—would fix everything. But it didn’t. The underlying depression and anxiety were still there. I started therapy that wasn’t just about affirming my gender but about digging into these deeper issues, and it helped me see things more clearly.
I decided to stop testosterone when I was 22. It wasn’t an easy decision. Some of the changes, like my deeper voice and facial hair, are permanent. I don’t necessarily regret those things, but I do regret not understanding myself better before I started. I regret that I might be infertile now because of the hormones. That’s a big loss that I didn’t fully consider when I was younger.
I don’t identify as a man anymore. I’m just me, a female person. I’m still figuring out what that means. I don’t hate the masculine parts of me, but I’m learning to accept my body as it is now. My thoughts on gender are that it’s incredibly complex and personal. For some people, transition is the right path. For me, it wasn’t. I needed to work on my mental health first.
I don't regret the journey entirely because it led me to a better understanding of myself. But I do have regrets about the permanent changes and the time I spent believing that changing my body was the only way to be happy.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Learned about transgender people and realized transition was possible. |
| 17 | Started testosterone (HRT). |
| 19 | Got top surgery. |
| 22 | Stopped testosterone and began detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/randomaaccount:
I'm not just going to laugh and call you female over and over.
Never expected just that. I assume that even the if you are anti-trans or gc, you have more than that as an argument.
If you want to transition specifically for some concrete changes that are realistic and will satisfy you, that's one thing
I'd say my goals are fairly realistic. I'm not one of those trans guys who's like 5'1 and skinny and expects to turn into the manliest, tallest, strongest man with hrt.
But if you need to sum up those changes into the belief, "I'm a real man now, no longer female, no longer a woman,"
Yeah, that's not quite what I think. I mean, I'll always be female. Sure, there will be a point where I know I'm a man and no longer a woman, but I don't it's what you're saying.
I respect people's decision to transition. There are definitely a number who I question if they've thought it through enough or if transition would actually help them.
Yeah, I guess that's what I do as well.
Like with relationships the difference is vital, and I'd consider it homophobic to tell a gay person they're wrong for not being attracted to any trans people due explicitly to them being trans (same for straight people but different terms).
100% agree. I will tell anyone that I intend to have a sexual or romantic relationship with taht in trans before hand. Not doing so is disrespectful imo.
If you're actually here for a real discussion, how do you know you're a man? What does man mean to you? Do you have dysphoria and did you have it before questioning being a man?
What does it mean to be a man to me?
As a man, I'll I want to do is go on hrt, get top surgery (and maybe one day get bottom surgery if doctors are able to make the results of bottom surgery better), be able to look in the mirror and see as myself as just who a I am, just a dude.
I don't really have a whole deep story about what it means to be a man. I want to look like a man, have a deep voice, broad shoulder, a masculine jawline, a flat chest, a beard, use my male name and pronouns because that's what makes me happy and comfortable, it's just who I am. While being a woman makes be feel uncomfortable and kind of awful, passing as man whne I have the chance to makes me feel, happy, comfortable and just normal.
If you want more details, send me a pm and I might be able to be more specific.
Did I ever question before considering transition?
Yes, a lot. Ever since I was a kid I just wanted to be one of the boys, I'd try to look as masculine as possible and would be extremely happy when someone called me a boy by mistake. I've always wanted to be a boy and the thought of imagining living as a woman for the rest of my life always made feel sad and weird inside.
I didn't know transition was a thing until I was about 14. Until then I thought that "becoming a man" or be able to see and have others see myself as who I really am seemed impossible and, honestly, I hated it. I did end up crying a lot because of that.
Learning what trans people are and that there are other people like me changed my life completely. Before I just felt so bad, hopelless and depressed. But now I know there hope at the end of the tunnel.
I don’t believe in the “Really trans” vs “stupid detransitioning trender who didn’t actually have dysphoria” dichotomy.
Me neither. I don't anyone who detransions is a "stupid trender". Some people transion because of peer pressure, because they weren't informed enough on trans stuff, because they internalized sexism/homophobia or because they had other issues with their gender. That doesn't make them stupid, it means they made a mistake and that's totally okay.
Many of us were having all the same feelings you’re having and still ended up realizing that transitioning is not sustainable or safe.
So, because you and some people didn't like transioning, that means transioning isn't good at all for anyone else? I respect your opinion but that's a bit weird.
If you’re looking here for validation, you won’t get it.
Not looking for validation, just for opinions.
This is a support server and not a debate server. We aren't anti-trans or GC
I'm not trying to debate anyone. Really.
I think you can never "know" you're a man.
I think I worded that part wrong. I already "" know"" that I'm a man (or a guy to be more exact since I'm not an adult yet).
I meant that one day, I'll be able to look in the mirror and just be able to see myself as man, you know? That I won't look like a woman at all. I don't know if I'm expressing myself correctly. I apologize if this is confusing.
You should know that among men being a Man something you are expected to earn and defend all your life. Being a male isn't enough
Yeah, I'm aware that men sometimes need to fight their whole lives so they can "be a man". I hope that changes one day
. Women will hold you accountable. Men will judge you.
Uhhhh What kind of people are you hanging out with
You can't possibly be prepared for that
I am.
It's much easier for MtFs.
Mtfs have quite the hard time with their transition. It's harder for them to pass and there are tons of rad fems/terfs who are always trying to paint them as this perverted monsters who want to harm others.