This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display:
- Consistent, nuanced personal narratives about desisting.
- A range of appropriate emotional tones (reflective, concerned, supportive).
- No scripted or repetitive language.
- A logical and empathetic engagement with other users' struggles.
This is consistent with a genuine desister who is passionate about the topic.
About me
I started feeling deep shame about my female body as a teenager, especially after my mom shamed me for developing breasts. My discomfort was tangled with low self-esteem, trauma from men's objectification, and a disturbing childhood event. I thought transitioning was my only escape, but I'm grateful I wasn't pushed toward medical intervention. Over time, my dysphoria faded as I gained self-acceptance and my social life improved. I now love my body, have a family, and am so thankful I didn't make any permanent changes.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially when I started developing breasts. I remember my mom’s reaction made it so much worse. One time, I was just wearing a normal t-shirt to go ride my bike with friends, and she told me to “wear something normal” and to “stop showing off.” I was so confused and ashamed. I was almost flat-chested; I wasn’t trying to show anything off. I just wanted to be a kid.
That shame around my body, especially my breasts, mixed with a lot of other things. I had really low self-esteem and felt like an ugly freak compared to other girls my age. I had this thought that if I couldn’t be an attractive woman, then I’d rather not be one at all. I also hated the way adult men would sometimes look at me or make comments when I was still just a kid. It felt gross and objectifying. A really disturbing memory from my childhood also stuck with me—when I was about six or seven, my friend’s drunk grandfather exposed himself to us on purpose at a birthday party. I think all of these experiences combined to create a deep sense of discomfort with being female.
Looking back, I think my gender dysphoria was tangled up with depression, trauma, and just a desperate need to escape from how I felt. I was vulnerable and immature, and the idea of transitioning felt like a way out. I’m so grateful that the conservative community I grew up in, while not perfect, didn’t push me toward medical transition. Today, I think I might have been influenced into something I would have regretted. Instead, over time, everyone just got used to my personal style, the bullying stopped, and my feelings of dysphoria slowly went away.
I eventually came to accept and even like my body. It gave me a healthy sex life and allowed me to have two beautiful children. It’s scary to think how much I could have lost if my circumstances had been different and I’d been pushed to medically transition. For me, the only reason to transition or detransition should be for your own mental health, not because of outside pressure or politics. I’m glad I found my way through without making permanent changes, and I don’t have any regrets about my path now.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 6 or 7 | Witnessed a traumatic event at a friend's birthday party. |
| Early Teens (exact age unknown) | Began experiencing shame and discomfort around breast development and puberty, worsened by my mother's comments. |
| Teenage Years | Struggled with depression, low self-esteem, and body dysmorphia, feeling like an "ugly freak" among other girls. |
| Over Time (no specific age) | Gender dysphoria faded as I gained self-acceptance and my social environment stabilized. |
| Adult | Came to appreciate my body, had a healthy sex life, and had two children. No medical transition occurred. |
Top Comments by /u/redholga:
I think you need professional assessment. Obsessive thoughts like these might be a sign of psychosis, regardless of your upbringing. The line between extreme faith and illness can be very thin, it needs a professional eye. You should remember that if you're ill, the sooner you can get treatment the better.
In my case it was my teenage vulnerability and immaturity, depression, lack of self acceptance ("if I can't be an attractive woman then I'd rather not be one at all", I felt like an ugly freak among attractive girls and didn't fit in), preference for gender nonconforming clothing/image, my mother shaming me for undergoing puberty, hating being objectified by adult men when I was still a kid, being witness to my childhood friend's drunk grandfather exposing himself on purpose (he exposed himself to us during her birthday party, we were all 6 or 7)...
That's true. In a strange way, the conservative surroundings helped me remain myself. Over time, everyone got used to my offbeat personal style, I wasn't bullied anymore. Today I'd probably be gaslit into transition and I know I'd regret it. My gender dysphoria went away and I like my body. It gave me healthy sex life and two beautiful children. It's scary to think how much I could have lost if the circumstances were different.
I'm certain that my mother's reaction to my first period and breast development contributed to my teenage dysphoria. On top of other issues, but still. I remember walking out the house, in summer, wearing a normal t-shirt - and she literally said "wear something normal, stop showing off your t*ts". I was so confused. I wasn't showing off anything, just wanted to go and ride my bike with friends. What's even stranger is that I barely had any boobs. I was almost flat.
The only reason to transition or detransition is for one's own mental health. No external circumstances should affect your decision. Transition helped you with mental health, you did all the surgeries... Detransitioning for societal or political reasons, not because of your actual identity, would be a mistake. You shouldn't transition for these reasons, and neither should you detransition because of this. You say you 'could' live as a feminine gay man, but you don't really know what would happen. Would the dysphoria come back? Would you be satisfied with a male body with feminine-looking genitals? Your romantic/sex life would certainly suffer. Transitioning isn't for everyone. But neither is detransitioning. Society questions a lot of things. Many things are unnecessarily politicised. I'm tired of people questioning my ability to do my job because I'm a woman (in a generally male field), but it's not going to make me leave my job or transition.