genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/rezkidsinlove's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 18 -> Detransitioned: 23
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account "rezkidsinlove" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

Reasons for Authenticity:

  • Personal, Nuanced Engagement: The comments offer specific, empathetic advice (e.g., discussing uterine atrophy, tattoo ideas for mastectomy scars, name lists) that reflects a deep understanding of the community's struggles.
  • Consistent, Human-like Perspective: The user expresses complex, personal views, including their own "GC-leaning" stance while showing compassion to individuals, and shares personal reflections on identity. This is not the pattern of a simple bot.
  • Natural Interaction History: The user references past interactions with other users and the sub's history, demonstrating a genuine, ongoing involvement in the community over time.

The account exhibits the passion and strong opinions expected from someone genuinely engaged with the difficult topics on /r/detrans.

About me

I started identifying as non-binary in my late teens, heavily influenced by online communities that presented transition as a solution for my depression and discomfort. I took testosterone thinking it would make me happy, chasing a feeling of control rather than a true male identity. I eventually realized it was a form of escapism that wasn't fixing my underlying mental health issues. I stopped hormones and benefited greatly from therapy that focused on my depression and self-esteem instead of affirmation. Now I'm learning to accept my female body and find my value in who I am, not how I'm perceived.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started in my late teens, a time when I was really struggling with depression and a deep-seated feeling that I just didn't fit in anywhere. I never had what I would call classic dysphoria, but I had a lot of general discomfort with my body and myself. I think a lot of it was tied to low self-esteem and the normal awkwardness of puberty. I started identifying as non-binary first; it felt like a safe middle ground, a way to step away from the pressures of being a woman without having to fully commit to being a man. I was heavily influenced online, spending a lot of time in communities where transitioning was presented as the ultimate solution for anyone who felt unhappy or out of place.

I ended up taking testosterone. I told myself it was what I needed to be happy. For a while, it did make me feel better. I liked the increased energy, the deeper voice, and the ease of building muscle. But looking back, I think I was chasing a feeling of power and control over my life, not necessarily a male identity. I never got any surgeries, but I considered top surgery for a long time because I hated my breasts; they felt like a symbol of everything I was trying to escape from.

Over time, I started to realize that the T wasn't fixing the underlying issues. My depression and anxiety were still there, just masked by the physical changes. I began to understand that my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I was trying to run away from myself instead of dealing with my mental health. I started to question everything. Was I really trans, or was I just a woman who was uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me? I had to do a lot of hard thinking about why I felt the way I did.

I eventually stopped taking hormones. I don't regret transitioning in the sense that it was a path I needed to walk to get to where I am now, but I do have regrets about the permanent changes to my body, like my voice, and the time I lost. I benefited greatly from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity, but that helped me tackle my depression and low self-esteem head-on. That was what I truly needed.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex, but the push for immediate medical transition is dangerous. There really needs to be a greater push for trying to tackle dysphoria from a mental perspective. For some people, it might be the right path, but for others like me, it was a drastic solution to problems that needed a different kind of care. Pronouns and labels are just words describing the vessel; what matters is the person inside. I've learned that it's enough to just be, without having to explain every part of yourself to everyone.

I'm in a much better place now. I'm learning to accept my body as it is, scars and all, and to find my value in who I am, not what I look like or how I'm perceived.

Age Event
18 Started identifying as non-binary, heavily influenced by online communities.
20 Began taking testosterone.
23 Stopped testosterone after realizing it wasn't addressing core mental health issues.
24 Underwent non-affirming therapy focused on depression and self-esteem. Began identifying as a woman again.

Top Comments by /u/rezkidsinlove:

12 comments • Posting since March 2, 2019
Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) explains the acronyms FFS, SRS, BA, and VFS in a post about a detransitioner.
40 pointsApr 18, 2019
View on Reddit

If anyone else was confused:

FFS = facial feminization surgery.
SRS = sex reassigned surgery.
BA = breast augmentation
VFS = voice feminization surgery

I'm genuinely sorry for your loss, OP :( I'm glad you are still here today. Be strong.

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) explains the origins of the detrans subreddit, clarifying it was started by a mtftm detransitioner named Jade to escape TRA censorship, not as an official Gender Critical sister sub.
24 pointsNov 7, 2019
View on Reddit

This didn't start as a GC sub.

The sub creator, a dude named Jade started this sub because he was a mtftm detransitioner, I believe, and when he tried looking for a detransition sub, he found they were mostly taken over by the TRAs who wouldn't let him speak about his experiences. So he founded this one.

He was pretty cool, and tbh, I miss him (Jade, if you're reading this, send me a PM!) He was GC-sympathetic and often participated in GC and its sister subs, but the sub wasn't 'created to be a GC sister sub' at all.

I'm sorry you're getting pushed out of a space that should be for you, though 🙁 Good luck.

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) explains her compassionate comments to a vulnerable detransitioning user, clarifying that her Gender Critical views don't preclude offering help.
19 pointsMar 14, 2019
View on Reddit

I feel like part of OP's post is about me.

OP has made a few different posts on a few GC-leaning subs over the last couple days before landing here. He posted two posts here (both having since been deleted) - one asking if he should kill himself and another post asking for advice on how to navigate job interviews with a female name while he is male. I commented on the first, saying no, he SHOULDN'T kill himself, and then commented on the other, giving him some advice on how to deal with the name thing.

Nowhere in any of my interactions with OP did I encourage him one way or the other., to keep detransitioning or not. I wasn't aware that I had to have been formally trans to offer compassion to someone.

Honestly, yes. I have GC views. I might have distaste for the TRA movement and be angry with them on how they're treating women, but that doesn't mean I hate them all as individuals necessarily. If one comes here asking for help, then I can try to give advice. I've noticed it's a slow-moving sub, and sometimes I notice a thread can go a number of hours without a reply. I know when you're vulnerable, those hours can sometimes feel like a lifetime when waiting for human interaction and advice.

In any case, OP, from now on I'l give you a wide berth.

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) explains how to use the u/Sub_Mentions bot to track mentions of r/detrans across Reddit, helping mods identify traffic sources and assess poster sincerity.
18 pointsAug 6, 2019
View on Reddit

If you haven't already, I suggest trying to configure u/Sub_Mentions for your sub.

It lets you know when someone specifically writes 'r/detrans' somewhere on Reddit. It'll be super helpful in letting you know where some of your traffic is coming from, and might give you an idea if a poster is earnest or not.

Thank you for doing what you go and keeping a space where detrans people can have a voice, even if some take advantage of your good will.

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) suggests a realistic nipple tattoo or decorative chest art as a creative solution for post-mastectomy regret and scarring.
15 pointsApr 2, 2019
View on Reddit

Hmm.

So, this might be out there, and it may or may not be a good idea (depending on the severity of the scar tissue), but have you considered getting a tattoo of a nipple where yours could have been?

[This man lost some fingers at the first knuckle,] (https://www.riverfronttimes.com/newsblog/2019/01/18/his-hyper-realistic-fingernail-tattoo-went-viral-now-he-plans-to-help-more-people) but then had faux-fingernails tattooed on to make himself feel better.

(You don't even necessarily have to stop at nipples if your chest bothers you that much. There is a world of pretty and artful tattoos you can get to cover the scars and lack of breasts, if you're into that sort of thing. Your body can never be the same, yes, but it doesn't have to be all bad.)

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) comments on a post about transition being like "suicide without the gun," relating to the OP's pain and praising their resolve and strength.
10 pointsJan 11, 2020
View on Reddit

Oh fuck, I felt that, because I have my own living in me.

You got this. I'm half an age older than you are, and when I was where you are now, I didn't have half your resolve or your determination or your eloquence. You're already moving mountains and you just can't see it.

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) explains the risk of uterine atrophy and a sealed cervix from long-term testosterone use, citing Buck Angel's emergency hysterectomy, and suggests exploring the specific reasons for feeling better on T.
8 pointsMar 19, 2019
View on Reddit

You've probably heard this, but I would just be aware that taking T for too long can cause your uterus to atrophy, and your cervix to seal itself shut. It happened to Buck Angel, and Buck had to have an emergency hysterectomy due to a scary infection.

Try to explore why T makes you feel better. Is it the deeper voice, the increased energy/power, the ease in which it might be to build muscle?

Really think about it. I know that hitting the gym and getting buff has been a form of relief for some detransitioning women.

Best of luck!

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (ally) comments on the permanence of medical transition, comparing gender dysphoria to depression that can sometimes resolve itself.
6 pointsMar 2, 2019
View on Reddit

There really needs to be a greater push for trying to tackle dyphoria from a mental perspective.

I've never had dysphoria, but from the way people talk about it, it's a lot like depression?

Like, in some cases, it will never lift, but other times.... One day you wake up and it's mostly resolved itself and the world makes sense again?

The risk is really huge to take such permanent changes, banking on the fact you'll never recover.

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) discusses using a non-binary identity as a stepping stone to reflect on gender, advising that it's okay to take years to decide if transitioning or detransitioning is your truth.
6 pointsApr 3, 2019
View on Reddit

The way I see it is,

You transitioned because the idea of having to live the whole rest your life NOT living 'your truth' was a scary thought.

Now that you have, and you are having doubts - are you prepared to keep living the rest of your life this way, knowing it might not really actually be 'your truth'?

I understand that you're unsure if you're actually trans or not, and you don't want to bite the bullet either way.

I know some people have kind of used the NB-identity as a way to fade INTO identifying as the other gender.... but also as a way of fading OUT of identifying as the other gender. You can stay there and reflect and decide if being the other gender is really right for you.

It's not a bad stepping stone, even if it's a stepping stone you have to stay on (for years, even!) until you're somewhere you are safe to be yourself. And those places do exist. There are people who would accept you as a feminine man or a masculine woman. It might take a little digging, but they are out there.

Reddit user rezkidsinlove (The Mythological Bi WoC ally) comments on the pressure to be "truly known," advising that one's identity doesn't require an explanation and that "pronouns are just words that describe the vessel that houses your spirit."
6 pointsMar 20, 2019
View on Reddit

I don't really have the answers for you, but this jumped out at me:

If I'm not truly trans or truly "de-trans" then what am I supposed to do in terms of communicating to others effectively who I am.

I feel like this has always been a thing with humanity, and especially in today's age where a lot of socializing can be pretty fast, cheap and superficial. There's this compulsion to be 'TRULY KNOWN.' It's not a bad thing to want. It's human nature. But understand that 'being known' and having all the facets of yourself on display at all times isn't a thing that's mandatory, or even 100% feasible at times. It's enough to simply BE, without an explanation. And I think once you stop feelings that you owe people that explanation is when you'll feel the most relief.

What other people think of you is none of your business - Regina Brett

You don't have a soul. You are a soul; you have a body - C.S. Lewis

At the end of the day, pronouns are just words that describe the vessel that houses your spirit.

There's a recent interview with Benjamin Boyce and Sasha Ayad that kind of goes into it a bit on youtube, I suggest you look it up. It might help.