This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over time. It describes a deeply personal journey of transitioning, detransitioning, and the ongoing struggle with identity, body image, and social acceptance—all common themes in the detrans community. The specific, mundane details about their body, medical history, and daily struggles (e.g., shaving, weight distribution, specific surgery after-effects) are not the kind of details a bot or troll would typically fabricate convincingly. The account exhibits the expected passion and distress of someone who has experienced harm.
About me
I was a masculine girl who felt rejected for being myself, so I thought becoming a man was the answer. I took testosterone and had surgery, chasing acceptance and a way to escape my body. I eventually realized I was trying to become someone people would like, not who I truly am. Now I've stopped hormones and deeply regret the permanent changes, wishing I had known that being a masculine woman was an option. I'm a female relearning how to live in my body, which is filled with confusion and anxiety.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was really young. I was always a tomboy, and I would correct people if they called me a girl. I’d say, “I’m a tomboy!” because that was the only word I knew for how I felt. I liked dressing in guys' clothes, I liked girls, and I enjoyed stereotypical boy things. My family and the kids at school did not approve at all. I was bullied a lot and faced a ton of rejection, which really messed with my head.
When I went through puberty, I hated my chest. I wanted my shirts to lay flat and I wanted to be able to swim shirtless. I googled how to make your chest smaller and found that working out and losing weight could help. That started a really bad eating disorder for me. I became obsessed with working out and not eating, and I’d weigh myself constantly. If the number was bigger, it felt like I could physically see my chest getting bigger and fuller. It controlled my life for so long, and honestly, I still have issues with eating and get really anxious around food.
Around 14 or 15, I got more involved in the lesbian community and felt more comfortable with androgyny. I wanted to be the ‘boyfriend’ in a relationship—to hold doors open and give a girl my jacket. But I still felt lost and wrong. I hadn't met any women who felt the way I did. Then I heard about trans men and top surgery, and I was desperate for some resolution. I thought, "This must be it!" I was convinced that transitioning was the answer.
I started testosterone when I was 19. For a while, it felt good. I enjoyed being able to be masculine without people thinking it was wrong. People treated me better and I got more attention from women who otherwise wouldn’t have given me the time of day. For someone who was always bullied and rejected, that feeling of acceptance was like euphoria. But even in the first two years, I started to get weirded out by some changes. When my facial hair started coming in dark, I felt uneasy, but I brushed it off because my social life was better.
I had top surgery a couple of years into taking T. I hated my chest and thought it was the right choice. But now, I wish I had just gotten a reduction instead of full surgery. I have a lot of numbness still, and I regret it.
After almost four years on T, I stopped. I was 23. I realized I didn’t want to become a whole man. I was looking into bottom surgery and even had a consultation, but luckily, it got pushed back and I had time to think. I called and cancelled. I had a moment of clarity where I realized I was making myself into something I thought people would like better. Living as a guy, I was treated better, but I hated the thought that I had messed up my body just to be accepted.
Stopping T made me confront a lot of things. I have OCD and severe anxiety, and I worry that my transition was just me taking things too far as a form of escapism. I was trying to escape my past and all the rejection. I don’t hate everything T did, but I hate the excess facial and body hair, and my voice is a big source of discomfort for me now. I have to shave constantly, and I’ve tried waxing, which I messed up and left a nasty red patch on my face.
I’ve accepted that I am female, but it feels weird and foreign to say that. I think it’s because I spent most of my life rejecting being a girl and then lived as a trans man for about seven years. All pronouns feel wrong right now. I’m just a big ball of anxiety and confusion. I know I’m not a man, and I wouldn’t wish to be a cis man. If I had the choice between being a cis man or a cis woman, I’d pick a cis woman. But I’m still very masculine and enjoy presenting that way. I just want to be a masculine woman who wears men’s clothing, not an actual man.
I regret taking testosterone for so long. I regret the top surgery, or at least that I didn’t just get a reduction. I think my dysphoria was real, but it was also mixed up with a lot of internalized shame, low self-esteem, and a desperate desire to fit in. I didn't know that butch women or masculine women who had top surgery existed. I thought my only options were to be a girl or transition to a man. Now I know that’s not true.
Telling my family and friends that I’m detransitioning is terrifying. I live in a different state now, so some people don’t even know I transitioned, and I’m scared about how to explain it. I’m trying to just let my body do its thing now that I’m off T and see how I feel. It’s a process of relearning myself and unlearning all the negative things I thought about being female.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14/15 | First heard about trans men and top surgery, thought it was the answer for me. |
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Had top surgery. |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone (June). Realized I didn't want to be a man and began detransitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/ricekrispy96:
What the girl said about it was never gonna be enough and instead try to work through the issues she has w her body. That. So much. I stopped T and have been going over so much in my head about anything that may have led me to want to do so and what i actually feel about being female. I personally would have still opted for top surgery. But i wish i didnt take hormones for nearly 4 years. I identified as androgynous before hearing about transitioning. Have always been masculine and wanted to masculinize myself more, yeah. But i stopped T when i realized i actually didnt want to become a whole ass man. I transitioned to an androgynous body to match how i feel inside. But i do accept now that I'm female. And even as a female i can present how i want without having to identify as a man.
Aww thank you for this. This is really sweet and appreciated. If it helps paint the picture better for my stature im 5'2" roughly 95lbs 26 inch waist. Being on T has made it hard for me to put on weight (visibly. Like it goes to my tummy and then falls off seemingly within hours and doesnt go to my butt and thighs) pre T i was about a size 2 in ladies jeans. And im really hoping my butt fills out again cause i have to wear belts now any time i try to wear jeans or they fall off all day.
This is so dang similar to what i started feeling about the same length of time on T as you. I wouldn't be comfortable being a proper woman but im also not comfortable being a man. And i stopped taking T in June and decided to do me. I personally shave face and body but apart from that im letting my body do what it's gonna do without T. Im also realizing it's not a bad thing to be a masculine female. I personally id as androgyne that's where i was before realizing transmen existed and i think thats moreso me after having the male experience, i realized I'm not comfortable in it. I dont find it to be right like i had imagined. Mainly just distressing and like i was in costume.
I had some similar thoughts. Im also 23 and took T for 3.5 years and have had top surgery. T did cause some painful health issues regarding me not wish to have a hysterectomy. I took my last shot in June and have been trying to be cool w living my life as a masculine woman. I think the lack of knowing people like me was what led me to believe i either have to be girl or transition to man. But there's even butch women who desire or have had top surgery. I realized can still be socially masculine but not become a man. My chest was the biggest source of dysphoria and i dont have bottom dysphoria and didn't otherwise hate my body except when i strongly believed my body was wrong bc i convinced myself i wanted to be a guy. But really im just masculine and thought people would accept me more as a guy (which they did once i transitioned) but i just wanna do whats healthiest and makes me most comfortable.
I think its bc it's been so long and i pushed away so much having to do w being a girl and was young and didnt really have a firm grasp on what the possibilities are of being female. Which now i know comes in so many diff forms i hadnt been exposed to when i needed it. Id like to be comfortable being a girl. I just feel scared. I dont know how to tell my family and friends and i live in a diff state than where i grew up so theres people who dont even know that i transitioned so im likw are they gonna think im mtf or should i tell anyone the truth? All the shit i had to pull to get to where i got only to be like um actually no and apologize to everyone. And im not taking T anymore so im trying to feel it out and make sure its something i like and think i can do before i tell anyone. I think it's gonna be a process of dealin w that, relearning myself, unlearning shitty things i thought about being female etc.
I think i enjoyed being able to be masculine and it not seeming so wrong and people accepting and treating me better and also the attention from women who otherwise wouldve never given me the time of day. I think being someone who was always told i was wrong and someone who was always bullied and rejected, having the opposite happened gave me such a sense of euphoria. There were times within the 1st 2 years i was like uh i dont like these changes (as they were getting more and more intense) i got weirded out when facial hair started coming in dark and just tried to brush it off bc i was enjoying my life socially better. But i shouldnt have to make myself into something else to please others or gain their support and respect and acceptance. I think i was trying to escape my past and i have severe anxiety and ocd and i worry this was just me taking it too far. Despite dressing masculine and like some "guy things" i didnt hate my body. I actually hate it more now. I stopped taking T in June and decided to let my body do its thing but im most uncomfortable about the face hair and my voice. The face hair has been a pain (literally w the at home methods ive tried) trying to get rid of and my voice i can get it to a androgynous or femaleish sound i just have to actually put in effort. The thing that's throwing me off is if i hate this so much why does the idea of living as a girl seem so weird too? Ive accepted im not a man. I dont wish to be a whole ass dude. I dont wish to be a cis dude. I wish i was a cis girl. But it seems strange and scary.
It's like young me had it so drilled in that i was wrong and not destined to be a girl and didnt resonate w them and always wanted to look like the guys and now that im older and lived the past several years as a man its like i look back on when people perceived me as female and it was such a time of confusion and fear and feeling shameful and ugly that i think somewhere in my subconscious i still am maybe clinging to those emotions about it? But i never lived as an adult gender non conforming woman and i feel like idk unsafe to do so?? Wrong to do so?? But other than what ive mentioned in this thread i cant think of any other reasons why so I'm feeling very confused and anxious. I know im not a man and i wouldnt wish to be a cis man. Like if i were given the opportunity between being a cis man and a cis woman, id pick a cis woman. But im still very masc and enjoy presenting that way. I prefer mens fashion (and im big on that too) and no makeup and being outdoors and i just dont fit the mold or anyones expectations which makes me feel awkward and out of place but i know I'm not a man. I wish i could just figure out why and be comfortable being a woman who is very guyish apart from the part of not actually being a guy.
Ive always been more masc tomboy and wanted a not so girly name had planned to have a breast reduction (given that u can already see why when i heard about transmen i thought thats what was going on) after 4 years on T i stopped. I didnt wanna get anymore masc and i wish id had waited on full top surgery and at most got a reduction. Ive been thinking lately and apart from being a misfit and a genderqueer/androgyne bio female dating women. Signs pointed in the trans direction. But i came to a realization other than that that may have pushed it a little further. And thats that of insecurity. W all the shit i got from fam and peers and the rejection or unavailability of women who i had fallen for due to the fact that i was a girl. At some point i thought man my life would be made so much easier if i were just a man. I could wear guys clothes have a wider dating pool etc. I thought transitioning would be the answer for me. I was already masc and it would take away most of those types of issues. I was even happy w it and maybe i am at most transmasculine but it came down to me being in love w someone and ofc they knew i was trans but i realized 1 night that my partner may not even be interested had i not altered my body. I want someone to love me for me. Androgyne bio woman. Not make myself into what i think people will love. And sadly me "coming out" as myself has caused isssues in my relationship we're trying to work through but i also dont want my partner to feel forced into loving me or trying to be attracted to me if im not what they want. Cause that shit hurts.
Ive only reallly got mustache soul patch and chin. But im tired of shaving and looking andro or passing as female and then by the end of the day the stubble gets me read as male. I wanna get a wax kit just have to look fir the Right One and deal w letting the hair grow for a few days to be able to get it. Already decided imma have to rock a bandana around my mouth cowboy style during those few days haha. Besides my face looking more chiselled and facial hair i feel like my body didnt change tooooo much. Like a i lost my butt but i figure that will sort out w fat redistribution. Ive been working on my voice and it passes sometimes at drive thrus and on the phone. My 1 biggest concerns rn is the face hair and the fact that i did get top surgery. I had planned for years to get a reduction and i wish if i did anything that thats what id done. Idk if not being on T will cause any chest growth the way it does on transwomen or not. Ive read it depends how much your surgeon removed.
You said you still get stubble. Have you noticed lightening and or softening of facial hair and does it take longer to grow in after shaving? I can't afford any laser type situation so ive been shaving like twice a day and have been thinking about waxing.