This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are consistent, nuanced, and reflect the passionate, often biologically-focused arguments common in that space. They engage with different topics (regret, medical caution, biological sex) in a way that demonstrates genuine personal opinion and reasoning, not scripted bot behavior. The advice given, while strong, is within the realm of a concerned and opinionated individual.
About me
I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my female body during puberty and thought I might be non-binary. I was heavily influenced by online communities and almost believed that medically transitioning was the answer to my depression. I became cautious, however, after researching the permanent side effects of hormones and surgery. I eventually realized my struggle wasn't with being female, but with my own low self-esteem. Now, I've let go of that identity and I'm focused on healing the real issues, grateful I never made any permanent changes.
My detransition story
Looking back at everything, my journey with gender was more about my own confusion and trying to find a place to belong than anything else. I never medically transitioned myself, but I spent a lot of time in online spaces thinking about it and watching others go through it. My own feelings were a mess of low self-esteem and depression, and for a while, I thought changing my gender might be the answer to feeling better about myself.
I started out believing I might be non-binary. It felt like a comfortable middle ground, a way to opt out of the pressures of being a woman without having to fully commit to being a man. I see now that a lot of this was escapism. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body during puberty, especially developing breasts, and I hated the expectations that came with being female. I thought if I could just change how people saw me, the internal discomfort would go away. I was heavily influenced by what I read online and by friends who were also exploring their gender identities. It created an echo chamber where transitioning seemed like the only logical solution to feeling different.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the medical side, particularly testosterone and top surgery. I was always very cautious, and I'm grateful for that now. I kept warning others about the side effects, like male pattern baldness, because the thought of going through that myself was terrifying. I saw it as a form of dysphoria in its own right. I also couldn't shake the practical questions, especially about dating. I’m attracted to men, and it never made sense to me how I could expect a straight man to be attracted to me if I looked like a man. That disconnect was a big red flag for me that I was probably on the wrong path.
My views on gender became pretty firm. I came to believe that while society adds a lot of layers, there are inherent biological differences between males and females. I don't think this means people have to conform to stereotypes—a woman can be tough, a man can be gentle—but I believe our sex gives us certain predispositions. For me, acknowledging this biological reality was important. Trying to deny it felt like denying science.
I never went through with any medical procedures. I only ever transitioned socially, by changing my name and pronouns for a short time. Eventually, through a lot of reflection, I realized my issues weren't really about gender. They were rooted in depression, anxiety, and a deep-seated dislike for myself. I was using the idea of being trans as a way to escape from my problems. Letting go of that identity was scary, but it was also a relief. I don't regret exploring it, because it led me to understand myself better, but I definitely regret the time I spent convinced I was something I wasn't. I'm glad I never made any permanent changes.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
Age | Event |
---|---|
Around 14-15 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and my developing female body. |
Around 16-17 | Began identifying as non-binary, influenced by online communities and friends. Socially transitioned with a new name and pronouns. |
18-19 | Started seriously questioning medical transition, but became cautious after researching side effects of testosterone and surgery. |
20 | Realized my feelings were more related to depression and self-esteem than gender identity. Stopped identifying as non-binary and detransitioned socially. |
Top Comments by /u/rizzlerdizzler:
We can acknowledge that we have a predisposition to certain traits without being held to those predispositions. To ignore them is to just ignore what we know from evolutionary psychology and is basically anti science. Of course people are shaped by their environment as well. But we are born with inherent traits based on our biology too. This isn’t a black and white issue. This is about acknowledging our biological truth.
The simplicity of this response is astounding. The guy is clearly not transphobic. A man can never be one a woman, that’s just fact. Making that statement is completely unrelated to whether or not he has empathy for trans people. Stating reality doesn’t make the guy transphobic, he clearly supports his father.
Well our sex makes us more likely to act in certain ways. For example men are more physical and prone to resorting to violence, ie the majority of the prison population is male. Women are more emotional and caring, ie the caring professions such as doctors and nurses are increasingly female. But this doesn’t mean men can’t be caring and women can’t be violent. It just means there’s a likelihood that you carry certain traits and tendencies based on your sex. Plenty of people don’t carry those traits and tendencies and plenty of people do.
I would wait to do anything medical until you are at least in your 20s. Making decisions this big at such a young age is not wise.
Read what a lot of people are saying about making huge decisions in their teens and the intense regret that they are living with. If you are nonbinary and not wishing to fully transition then surely you can wait until you are older and your brain is fully developed.
Remember all the negative effects of T. Would you be happy to go bald or recede heavily? For men this is a harrowing experience that many of them never get past. It’s dysphoria in itself...
Is it legal to get a double mastectomy at your age where you’re from? Some people have suggested breast reduction surgery as a middle ground. And then if you still feel this strongly after a few years you could think about a full mastectomy. But again, wait until you are older. What’s hard to understand at your age is that you are still developing and it feels like you’re an adult now but you’re not. Don’t do anything irreversible until you’re an adult.
Hair loss is absolutely awful. It’s debilitating, it causes many men to become shut ins and lose all their confidence...to take medicine that will do that to you seems crazy to me...
Its both physical and biological differences that make us inherently different. I’m not saying it’s just physical, or just biological. Nor am I saying there is no room to ignore or get past these differences and predispositions. All I’m saying is that these differences exist in us and nearly every other animal species on that planet. This is the opposite of “reactionary”, it’s just biology. There’s no point in denying it in order to try and advance some kind of activist agenda. Sometimes the truth isn’t exactly ideal for our particular point of view, but it’s still the truth. Biologists don’t want to be involved in the gender politics debate, they just want to study biology and look at the facts. For so long the right wing and the conservatives have been the science deniers, I just hate to see liberals embracing a science denying narrative...
It sounds very much like he’s copying his brother. What are the chances of having two trans children? I would think they are almost mathematically impossible. Do you think the older one is actually trans or are you worried about him as well? What’s your gut instinct on this? I would keep letting him present as female but make it clear that he can’t do anything medical until he’s an adult and can afford it himself. In the meantime just keep an open dialog and talk about all sides of the issue.
I suppose you can disagree and be against it but it’s not a belief, it’s just fact. There are inherent sex differences in almost every species on the planet. It’s not something that is up for debate, the science on this was done decades ago. Species on earth are categorised into sexes, that’s how we view the world. These sexes have biologically determined roles and also societally determined roles. There’s been plenty of studies to determine the influence of nature vs. nurture but at the end of the day nature is what nature is and we can’t fundamentally change that through a controlled environment.
I’ve been reading your posts and I feel really bad for what has happened to you. I’m really trying to understand why people decide to medically transition. I have two questions that I always have any time I read a story like yours...if you don’t mind answering them I’d really appreciate it.
When you decided to go on T did you google the side effects? Were you aware you would likely go bald or recede heavily? Were you aware of all the cancer risks etc?
Given that you’re not lesbian who did you expect to date after transition? Do people who do this expect to date other people that have transitioned? I’m not meaning to be offensive at all, but if you are into straight men how could you have ever expected a straight man to be attracted to you if you looked like a man?
I think if you want to date men you should probably not transition to presenting like a man. Gay men don’t like to date women that look like men, and straight men also don’t like to date women that look like men. If yeah really want to date men then the writing is on the wall...