This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user demonstrates deep personal experience with testosterone (T), including specific, detailed side effects (e.g., prickly heat, injection pain, emotional changes) and a nuanced, evolving perspective on their own transition and the broader trans community. The passion and critical stance align with the experiences of many detransitioners and desisters. No major red flags suggest it is a bot or inauthentic account.
About me
I was born female but felt like a man trapped in the wrong body, so I started testosterone to finally feel like myself. The side effects were brutal and life-altering, causing debilitating pain and new mental health issues I never had before. I now live with serious regrets about the permanent physical changes and health problems I have because of it. While I needed that sense of self at the time, I believe medical transition is promoted too easily as a solution. My quality of life is now worse, and I would choose to live without hormones if I could.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started because I had a deep, intrinsic feeling that I was a man on the inside. Looking in the mirror, my body never matched that feeling. I was born female, but that reality felt completely wrong to me. I felt like a man about 95% of the time, and living as a woman felt exhausting and fake. It felt like I was performing a role that was never meant for me.
I had a lot of discomfort with my body, especially after I cut my hair short. That’s when I really started to hate my chest and my hips; the dysphoria seemed to get stronger because I felt such a strong need to pass as male. Being a "faux male," even with all its challenges, felt a million times better and more authentic than trying to be a female ever did.
I decided to start testosterone, seeing it as my only option to become who I felt I was. I was hopeful and believed that even if long-term use of T might cause health problems later, I’d rather have 30 happy years as myself than 70 miserable ones.
But the side effects of testosterone were severe and something I was completely unprepared for. My skin broke out terribly for the first few months. I developed a condition called prickly heat, which is an intense, stinging sensation all over my back, neck, and shoulders whenever I got warm from exercise, the sun, or stress. It became so debilitating that I couldn't go to the gym, run, or even walk up a hill without being in horrible pain. I had to take daily antihistamines just to manage it. I even started experiencing sleep paralysis for the first time in my life shortly after starting T.
The injections themselves were extremely painful. For the first few shots, the pain was so intense in the days following that I couldn't walk or bend over without aching terribly; one night I woke up nearly crying from it. My period didn't stop until I was over 15 months on T, and the cramps became much worse.
It also affected my mental state. I developed obsessive thoughts and extreme retroactive jealousy in my relationship. I became incredibly insecure and depressed, convinced that I was inferior to cisgender men and that my girlfriend could never be truly happy with me. This was a type of jealousy I had never experienced before testosterone. My sex drive, which was non-existent before, also skyrocketed.
I became very concerned about the lack of information and the way testosterone is sometimes promoted. I had to teach my own doctor about the prickly heat side effect because he had never heard of it. I found it irresponsible that popular influencers with large platforms wouldn't talk about the serious side effects they experienced. I started to believe that medical transition should be an absolute last resort because we simply don’t know the long-term effects of being on hormones for decades. The medical industry, afraid of being called transphobic, often doesn't look deeply enough into a person's other mental health issues before prescribing hormones.
I saw this happen with a friend of mine who has BPD, anxiety, depression, and an addictive personality. She faced homophobia, cut her hair, tried on a binder, and quickly latched onto a trans identity as a solution to all her problems. It felt like she was being sold a false identity as a quick fix, egged on by a movement that often conflates gender identity with gender expression.
I began to question the entire process. I started with a very conservative view, calling myself a transsexual man because I disliked how politicized and "trendy" being transgender had become. I strongly believe you need dysphoria to be trans.
Now, looking back, my thoughts on gender are complicated. I don't think I fully regret transitioning because at the time, it felt like a life-or-death decision. It gave me a sense of self I desperately needed. However, I have serious regrets about the permanent physical changes and the health complications I now live with. The side effects, especially the prickly heat, have significantly reduced my quality of life. I often think that if I could live without hormones, I absolutely would.
I don't feel that I was influenced by friends or online communities to transition; my dysphoria felt very real and internal. But I do see now how the broader culture can encourage people to see transition as the only answer to deep-seated issues like trauma, depression, or internalized homophobia.
| Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| ? | Before 2019 | Felt a persistent internal sense of being male, severe body dysphoria. |
| ? | Early 2018 | Started testosterone therapy. |
| ? | ~5 months on T | Experienced severe acne and the onset of debilitating prickly heat. |
| ? | ~2019 | Period finally stopped after over 15 months on T. |
| ? | ~2 years on T | Noted increased aggression initially, then calming; high sex drive continued. |
Top Comments by /u/rjisont:
Eh?? I disagree with nearly everything you’ve said here. Firstly, when we say detransition we aren’t necessarily talking about genital sex changes, so I’m confused why you’re saying mtf detransition is harder. Most people don’t have lower surgery, so we are talking about hormonal effects, in which testosterone is far more powerful than eostrogen and causes a hell of a lot more permanent damage.
Secondly, I don’t understand why u think Male privilege is a myth. I’m a trans man (still) and I experience it everyday, whether it’s just no expectation to smile, I can go out and not feel judged because I haven’t shaved every part of my body and I can walk alone in the dark feeling safe.
Thirdly, FTM surgery is irreversible. You can’t get phalloplasty then chop it off and make a vagina again (to my knowledge). And I’m pretty sure you can’t grow breasts again after top surgery..
Months for it to start?? Jeez! I genuinely felt the bottom growth “tingles” as I called them about half an hour after my first shot. 3 nights later I felt a strong pulling sensation and the shape and growth had dramatically changed before even a week. Though I was on a large injected dose which is probably why.
The prickly heat side effect means I can’t run, go to a gym, even walk up a hill without having to stop after a matter of minutes before I feel like I have bee stings all over my back. Horrific and I can’t believe doctors don’t know this. It’s hardly surprising given that T is known for dramatically increasing your body heat. I did a tweet and 50 trans men said they too experienced it
Thanks for this. And I’d definitely say I have the intrinsic sense of feeling Male, at least about 95% of the time. (If that makes sense). My mirror self never used to match up because I felt like a man on the inside. I just said about being female because that’s my biological reality. I like your idea and I’ll give it a go :)
I also found it really interesting what you said about accepting we can’t all have our ideal body’s. This is really something to think about
I get you. Even though I’m stealth as Male, I still know I’m not biologically and that I have female socialisation. Can’t relate with men, don’t have the same hobbies or anything. Sometimes I feel like a fake. But for me, being a faux Male is 100x better than being a female. It felt a million times more fake and was truly exhausting, as well as being so frustrated by how I looked so wrong
Personally I’ve had to teach my doctor about side effects I’ve experienced that he’d never heard of, eg prickly heat. Also his time frames were all off for things like bottom growth -he was telling people it started at 2-3 months usually but for myself and everyone I’ve ever known it started within a matter of days
Thanks for this detailed reply.
My skin got quite a lot worse for the first 5 months on T but after that it’s been good. I’m hopeful it’ll stay this way, though I’ve heard many people’s skin suddenly takes a turn for the worst 2 years along.
I don’t think the fact I’m better at talking with girls indicates I’m a woman, but rather that I’ve just never learnt to interact with men in a friendship way.
I find it interesting that you say you never had dysphoria. Would you say that if you had it pre-t then you would have remained the opposite gender? Also, did you in turn gain reverse dysphoria about having Male characteristics? this is a rhetoric I see quite a lot. I did have dysphoria though I feel it increased due to feeling the strong need to pass as Male. Like once I cut my hair short I suddenly hated my chest and hated my hips.
I hope that in 20 years if we find that long-term use of T past a certain period of time will cause a very early death then hopefully I’ll be able to stop before it’s too late. For now I think it’s safe and hopefully my changes will be lifelong even if I do have to go off t eventually. I think even if I ‘detransitioned’ I would still remain life as a guy
So, I have quite conservative views on trans stuff. I consider myself a transsexual, not transgender, because I hate how it’s become so politicised and “trendy”. People are completely conflating gender identity with gender expression, and are so badly trying to promote the idea that you don’t need dysphoria, you just need to claim an identity to be it. Which is incredibly dangerous, eg represented in detransiton rates. Many people have been sold a false identity as a quick fix for other problems. My friend has bpd, anxiety, depression, bipolar, addictive personality disorder among other things, and since cutting her hair and trying on a binder, facing homophobia, she’s latched onto the idea of changing her whole identity. This is then egged on by the movement to further their propaganda and agenda. The medical industry is so fearful of being labelled as transphobic that they barely look into people’s disorders, they just want their money. I believe medical transition should be a last resort, because we really don’t know the long term effects. We’ve never had someone on t from teens to old age because its too new. You should only go on it if its life or death in my opinion. I would rather live 30 happy years than 70 as someone I am not
Happily been on t for a bit over a year, though here are the side effects I’ve endured;
- Prickly heat (intense stingy all over my back shoulders and neck when I get warm from exercise, the sun or stress). I now take daily antihistamines which helps a lot but it’s still there slightly.
- very bad acne all over my back and shoulders which I can’t seem to find a cure for. it got very bad on my face in the first few months but after 6 months of t it’s been fine
- sleep paralysis. no idea if this is related to t, but suspicious it started shortly after I started and I’d never ever experienced it before.
- first few shots gave me extreme pain in the days following, to the point where I couldn’t walk or bend without intense aching. One morning I woke up in the middle of the night nearly crying from the pain. This gradually got better but the aching is still tough for the first couple days after each shot
- obsessive thoughts, retroactive jealousy. Also could be unrelated but I got extremely insecure and jealous in my relationship to the point where I got quite depressed. My mind made me think I was completely inferior to cis men & that my girlfriend could never possibly be fulfilled. I had never felt like this pre-t, jealousy had barely entered my mind.
- period didn’t stop until this month (fingers crossed) (over 15 months along) which seemed to intensify my cramps which would be on and off for at least 2 weeks prior to the period, then on the period too, unlike pre-t
I’m about 2 years on t and at the beginning it made me wana hit people who pissed me off. I’m very calm but about 2 months on t I swore at a bouncer of a club and got thrown out, i was so close to hitting him. Now it’s all calmed down again. Sex drive went up a lot, I had none before and now I get horny/masturbate nearly everyday