This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally consistent, and detail a long, complex personal medical history (12 years transitioned, bottom surgery, severe complications, ongoing medical decisions). The depth of personal experience and the nuanced, supportive advice given to others are not typical of inauthentic accounts. The passion and anger present are consistent with the genuine trauma described.
About me
I transitioned to escape the homophobia I faced as a gay man, living as a woman for twelve years. I deeply regret my surgeries, which caused severe complications and have left me with permanent health issues. I detransitioned at 30 and am now learning to love myself as the man I am. Through therapy and physical activity, I'm healing from this trauma and confronting my internalized homophobia. While my body is forever changed, I am focused on building a future where my worth isn't defined by my past.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was, at its core, about me running away from being a gay man. I now believe that a lot of men who transition fall into two groups: straight men with a fetish, and gay men trying to escape homophobia. I was definitely in the second group. I was trying to escape the homophobia that comes from living in a patriarchal society.
I lived as a transgender woman for twelve years. During that time, I had bottom surgery, which I now deeply regret. The surgery itself caused massive complications and my recovery was awful. I even had to have a patch-up surgery with a different surgeon because the first one went so badly. Now, I have to take testosterone injections for the rest of my life, and I'm facing scary long-term health risks, like the possibility of prostate infections because of how the surgery was done. The medical system has been terrible through this. The surgeons I've had to deal with since detransitioning won't give me straight answers or proper advice; they just recommend more surgery, which I am completely against. I'm never going under the knife again. They've also gaslit me about my decision to detransition, acting like it's not a valid choice.
I finally detransitioned last summer when I was 30 years old. It was the best decision I have ever made, but I wish I had done it so much sooner. I feel like I completely lost my twenties to this. That's a crucial decade for figuring out who you are, and I spent it living as someone I wasn't. Now, at 30, I have to learn how to be a man and find myself much later in life.
Healing from this has been like recovering from a trauma. I’ve had to focus on self-love and processing a lot of anger. Things like yoga and weight lifting have helped me reconnect with my body, which has been through so much. Therapy has been essential for figuring out why I felt I needed to transition in the first place. For me, it was linked to internalized homophobia and low self-esteem. I didn't believe I could be a happy, loved gay man.
Speaking of being gay, I'm not worried about dating anymore. I know it will be harder as a detransitioned man who has had bottom surgery, but I refuse to believe my worth is defined by my genitals. The gay community is big and diverse. There are definitely men out there who care more about finding a life partner and a deep connection than just about sex. There are so many ways to be intimate and creative in a relationship. I know I'm a badass person with a lot to offer, and my unique journey has given me a perspective and resilience that is valuable. If someone can't see that, then they're not the right person for me.
I don't regret the person I've become because of all this, but I absolutely regret transitioning, especially the surgeries that caused permanent damage and health issues. My body will never be the same.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started living as a transgender woman. |
| 30 | Detransitioned after 12 years. |
| 30 | Underwent corrective surgery for complications from original bottom surgery. |
Top Comments by /u/ruhumanoradog:
I had srs, massive complications from it, have to take t injections forever. And i still am recovering and finding healing, and self love. I detransitioned this past summer. The best decision i have ever made. If i can do it, so can you. Talk to friends and loved ones. Lean on them. You cant compare yourself to anyone. This is your journey. Get in therapy. Find meaning. Process the anger. Focus on healing the body, its been through a lot - yoga, weight lifting, etc can to a long way. Treat this like trauma. Figure out why you felt you needed to transition in the first place and work to heal.
Offer yourself gratitude that you have come to enough awareness to doubt at 2 years, and not 12 years like was the case for me...in fact, it was probably good that you aren't passing as well as you'd like, because it may have taken longer for you to come to this conclusion if you did, and you may have lost your penis as a result. I am detransitioning after 12 years post bottom surgery. Its going really well. If i can do this, you can too. You've got this! :)
Exactly. It's insane. The risk of prostate infection, over the course of a lifetime, is really frightening to me. I'm not going back to that surgeon, no. But its still a gender surgeon, and i don't entirely trust them at all just in general. They've gaslit me so much about my detransition. But theyre the only ones who know how to work with my body.
This is so utterly fucked. They won't even advise. They recommend the vaginectomy but they're not the best at answering all my questions or helping me make a decision. I'm freaked out by the idea of having my prostate exposed, because that can be bad, but also terrified of going in for another surgery and risking more complications. You are a counselor. Are you available to talk more?
Have you considered that the mtftm’s equivalent to the ftmtf’s subconscious running away from patriarchy is running away from homophobia? For me, i was subconsciously escaping homophobia which is one of the many products of patriarchy - so maybe its patriarchy for both ftmtf and mtftm. What i’ve learned is there are two kinds of mtf’s - those who are straight men with a fetish and those who are gay men. The two experiences are very different
I just detransitioned after 12 years and bottom surgery. I’m 30. I wish I was as young as you are. Frankly i wish i detransitioned sooner. I feel like I lost my twenties and now have to find myself as a guy much later in life. You know whats best for you better than anyone else but if you want to be a guy, i would detransition when you’re still in one of the most important developmental decades of your life - the twenties are important.
I'm talking gay men too. I have a very different perspective. The gay community is big. You can't generalize like this. I know plenty of gay men who would date someone because of the PERSON they are, primarily. There are gay men whose priorities with dating are to find love relationships, growth and life partners - the sex is secondary. Especially past age 30 when they're sick and tired of the mainstream sex crazed gay world and desire more depth. If you find a connection and that person cares about you, they'll work with you. Is it going to be harder to find that person? Obviously. Is it impossible? No. You're reducing this persons romantic potential down to their genitals and not giving gay men enough credit as potential partners. I'm a gay male detransitioner whose had bottom surgery and I have no concerns about finding someone, because I know I'm a badass with so much to offer and what matters is who I am. Plus, there are so many ways to pleasure someone and to receive pleasure and get creative in the bedroom without a penis. If you choose to detrans, you'll have had a remarkable experience of duality in this life, with so much of a unique perspective and wisdom gained, and the experience of having sorted through your truth and finding the resilience to embody it, OP. Someone will see how special that is. Don't give your power away to a surgery or to genitals when it comes to the decision to detrans. Again, its going to be harder. Not impossible.
The patch up surgery was with a different surgeon from the one who cause the harm, even though its at the same medical center, you cant sue a medical center - you need to sue the person responsible. Yeah, no more genital surgeries for me. Fuck that. Not sure about removing the prostate removal, but thats certainly something to explore. I have to just get really educated on what to look out for regarding signs of infection.
This is also just wrong. People are much more open minded than you're making them out to be. There are people who will work with him because they appreciate who he is. He's not a pariah. There will be rejection, no doubt. But there will be plenty of gay men who will be willing to work with him. There are so many ways to connect sexually beyond having a penis, and romantic connection isn't only sexual. OP, if you detrans, this area of your life will offer you an opportunity for you to bolster your confidence and build enough self esteem to say to people "this is me, this is my journey. If it's a problem for you, its a bigger problem for me, so we'll part ways but I know that I'm lovable and amazing, and will find someone who sees that."