This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The comments demonstrate a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative that aligns with the experiences of detransitioners/desisters.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic account. The writing has a natural flow, includes specific biographical details (e.g., hormone disorder, specific health issues like hypertension), and expresses complex, sometimes contradictory emotions (e.g., missing some effects of HRT while acknowledging the necessity of detransitioning). The advice given to others is practical and empathetic, which is consistent with a genuine member of that community.
About me
I was a masculine girl whose parents tried to force me to be feminine, and a hormone disorder caused me to go through a traumatic early puberty that made me feel disconnected from my own body. I thought I was a trans man and started testosterone, which gave me some changes I loved but also serious health problems like high blood pressure. I never could pass as a man my age and felt stuck in an uncanny valley, which was more painful than my original dysphoria. I detransitioned and now live happily as a butch woman with a girlfriend and a supportive friend group. I’ve learned to cope with my dysphoria, and my life is significantly better now.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was just a kid. I was a masculine girl, and I always wanted to dress and act like a boy. My parents, especially my mom, hated that. They would always tell me "girls don't do that," and they tried everything to make me more feminine. This created a lot of tension and I felt like I couldn't be myself.
Things got more complicated because I have a hormone disorder. I went through puberty really early, at age seven. It was awful. I had to wear bras years before any of my classmates, I smelled like a teenager in elementary school, and I dealt with anger and depression way too young. The worst part was that it stunted my growth; I stopped growing and watched all my friends have normal, full puberties. Doctors told my mom that I needed hormone treatment to prevent the risks of early puberty and that I wouldn't grow anymore without it. But my mom refused.
When I got older, she told me why. She was worried that if I was treated, I'd end up a lesbian. She wanted me to be as attractive to men as possible, saying men would want to "pick up a cute little girl like me and throw me over their shoulder." Going through that early, messed-up puberty made me feel like my body wasn't my own. I lived in a kind of dissociative state, waiting for my "real" puberty to happen, where I'd grow tall and get a deep voice and facial hair. When I learned about being transgender in college, it felt like an answer. I thought, "That's me. I'm a man."
I socially transitioned during my sophomore year of college, but it was hard. People knew I was trans and it was off-putting. I couldn't make new friends and I didn't relate to other LGBT people my age because my interests and mannerisms were so male. I also had no luck dating women, even though I'd had plenty of luck before transitioning. I wished I had just stayed as a butch lesbian because I got treated more like a "cis guy" that way than I ever did as a trans man.
I started testosterone at 19 and was on it for about three and a half years. In a lot of ways, I loved what it did. It minimized my dysphoria and I loved my deep voice, my body hair, and my rougher skin. It helped repair my mind-body connection. But it was a gamble, and I lost in some important ways. It didn't change my height, my hips, or my facial structure. Even after three years on testosterone, when I passed, people thought I was a 12 to 15-year-old boy, but I was 22. I was stuck in an uncanny valley between male and female, and my deepest desire was to be indistinguishable from a cis man, which I realized was impossible for me. That felt worse than the original dysphoria.
The testosterone also caused serious health problems for me. After about a year, I developed stage 2 high blood pressure, even though I was only 20 and an athlete in excellent shape. It also gave me panic attacks. My doctor thought it was related to my hormone disorder, but my blood pressure went back to normal a few months after I stopped testosterone, so it was clearly the T.
I made the decision to detransition. It was really difficult because I missed the changes from testosterone, but my life is significantly better now. I have an all-male friend group that treats me as one of them, I have a long-term girlfriend, and I'm better respected at work. I still have dysphoria, but I've learned to cope with it. It's much less painful than living as a non-passing trans man. I still live as a butch woman; I wear men's clothes, get men's haircuts, and act the same way I always have. I've learned to dress for my body type, which has helped my confidence a lot.
I don't regret exploring my gender, and I'm even glad I tried testosterone because I needed to know for myself. I only regret the health problems it caused. My mom's refusal to treat my early puberty likely caused the intense desire to transition, because my puberty felt so wrong and half-assed. The irony is that I'm still gay and still gender non-conforming. If I'd had a normal puberty, I might not have felt the need to transition at all.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
7 | Went through early puberty due to a hormone disorder. |
19 | Started testosterone (HRT). |
20 | Developed high blood pressure and panic attacks from testosterone. |
22 | Stopped testosterone after 3.5 years and began detransitioning. |
23 (Now) | Living as a butch woman, in a better place mentally and socially. |
Top Comments by /u/rumblewarg:
Sounds like you have internalized sexism. Even average cis men feel inferior next to buff macho guys. This is normal, due to our socializations, I know I and many guys I grew up with had these same insecurities. I am sorry you feel this way, but I promise it gets better you just need to work on yourself.
Spending your life altering yourself for the perception of others is one of the unhealthiest things you could do. You need to become the best possible version of yourself, and accept what you cannot change. Or else you’ll be miserable, even if you transition and manage to pass as male, because you will still be judging yourself against male societal standards that are difficult even for cis men to meet.
I have a good cis male friend who is only 5’1, it is not easy living in society as a very short man, people often see it as conflicting to manhood unfortunately.
Being short means you won’t be stronger than the average untrained person. But, it doesn’t mean you can’t train your strength to become stronger. I have been going to gym for a while as a 5’0 woman and have developed enough upper body strength to lift more than the untrained 5’10+ gym newbies. So if I can do it, you definitely can.
This is so crazy. I have a hormone disorder that made me go through puberty at 7. I had multiple doctors strongly recommended hormone treatment to my mom to prevent the risks that can come with early puberty. They told me I wouldn’t grow anymore without it and it broke me. My mom refused to let me take it.
My mom told me a lot as I got older she had been worried about my future attractiveness because I always acted like and wanted to dress like a boy. Then eventually told me she didn’t let me take that HRT because she was worried I’d end up a lesbian and wanted me to be as attractive to men as possible. Told me that this way, men could pick me up and throw me over their shoulders, and that they’d want to protect a cute little girl like me.
Going through puberty so early fucking sucked. I had to wear bras 4 years earlier than the average girl, I smelled like a teenager in elementary school, I gained weight way too fast, I experienced teenage anger issues and depression way too early, I stopped growing and watched as my classmates went through full, uninterrupted puberties.
Best part is that I’m still gay and still gender nonconforming. Had I been given the opportunity to experience puberty within a normal timeframe, I likely would not have felt such an intense desire to transition to male. It still feels like my puberty was half-assed and I hate that some of my earliest memories are of being forced into uncomfortable clothing and bleeding all over the place at unpredictable intervals.
This sums up why I detransitioned yeah. HRT minimized some of the dysphoria I had been experiencing for well over a decade. I loved my hairiness and deep voice, my rough skin, and my thicker hands. I still miss that. But it didn’t change my hips, my height, or my facial structure. When I passed, I was presumed to be an “early bloomer” 12-15 y/o boy at 22. This was after I had been on T for 3 years.
When I transitioned during my sophomore year of college, I was unable to make new friends. People knew I was trans and it was offputting, I wished even back then I didn’t socially transition, since I got more of a “cis guy” treatment as butch than trans. I also didn’t relate to LGBT people my age, considering my almost strictly male interests and mannerisms. I couldn’t find any women willing to date me, despite having had plenty of luck pre-transition.
Transitioning is going to give you a hard life if you don’t 100% pass. It’s unfortunate but true. My life is significantly better now that I have detransitioned. I now have an all-male friend group that treats me as one of them, I have a long-term girlfriend, I am better respected at work. There’s still dysphoria but once you figure out how to cope with it properly it’s much less painful than living as a non-passing trans man, in my experience.
Dude I don’t think you realize how fucked up this is. I used to be a ‘straight dickless tranner manlet’ fwiw but just gotta say you have a lot of misogyny and self-hatred. You see women as weak and inferior to the point you have no empathy for them, do you realize how fucking deranged that is? Being emotionally absent is not normal for a man at all, even the most emotionally distant men don’t feel how you do. This is fucking incel behavior. Get the fuck off of 4chan and be real. In your fundamental biological state, without a steady supply of test, you are a butch lesbian to 99% of the population.
You will never be a cis man, you gotta live with that. This is part of why I detransitioned, because there is no realistic possibility I will never have a real functioning penis, a male skeleton or genetics, I couldn’t get women as a trans guy (I got plenty before), people didn’t respect me, I couldn’t compete with cis men as a short dickless trans guy who exclusively is into women. Hell, I feel sometimes more ‘like a man’ living as my butch self than I did as my trans man self man cuz my transness cut me off from a lot of opportunities. You got some real issues man, only one of them is transphobia.
So sorry you went through this. Our parents influence so much in our early life, it can be harmful when they introduce us to things, it often ends up being pressured.
I was a masculine girl and my parents hated it, would say “girls don’t do that,” and made every attempt to make me feminine. I had a hormone condition that would stunt my growth and my mom refused to have it treated so I would be as appealing to guys as possible. Didn’t give me a choice, I was powerless.
It is great your dad and stepmom want to be there for you. But nobody should ever have to go what you went through. It’s not right. I hope you can find some peace in life friend.
My transition story was very similar to yours, except I went through puberty early due to a hormone disorder and it caused me to live in a dissociative state. I remember waiting for my ‘real puberty’ to happen, where I grow tall, grow ‘real’ facial hair, get a deep voice, etc. As my body became more female over the years, I really believed it wasn’t supposed to look like that, and when I discovered what transgenderism was, I knew immediately that’s who I was.
Ultimately, I was on test for 3.5 years before detransitioning. My blood pressure was very high despite my age and athleticism, and t had caused complications with my hormone disorder. I failed to pass as an adult male due to my stunted height and skeletal frame, which felt worse than dysphoria on its own. It bothered me deeply that I was not going through a ‘real’ male puberty and made my dysphoria worse in some ways. I thought that feeling would go away but it only got worse.
It was a very difficult decision because t helped repair my mind-body connection, it is still difficult sometimes, but I had to. I have made peace with some aspects of myself, I still dress in men’s clothes, “act” like a man, get men’s haircuts, these are undebatable to me, I feel that your personality and the way you dress should not change regardless of whether you transition. I still have dysphoria, but it is much better being seen as a butch woman than a non-passing trans man.
Unfortunately HRT is a matter of timing and genetics roulette, you’re not guaranteed anything. Your chest size might decrease a few cup sizes within the next year or two. And your butt and thighs might become less noticeably female after a few more years of masculinization. But it’s a huge gamble, you gotta be willing to take that risk.
Detransitioning was the only thing that helped me. I was sick of being stuck in the uncanny valley between male and female. My deepest desire was to be indistinguishable from a cis male in every way, which is impossible for the vast majority of us. Not saying you need the same, but if you might not be be satisfied with your transition, you might want to consider this. Good luck bro
Eat plenty of protein-rich foods like eggs fish meat and yogurt. Aim for 90-140 grams of protein per day. Eat nuts, rice, healthy oils, etc. There are plenty of great protein supplements also. Smoothies are good for lots of calories. You may also want to see a doctor if nothing of that works, perhaps it is caused by an underlying condition. Good luck friend
We’re here. But lots of us blend back into the butch community or move on to have a normal lives post-detransition. And could also be that people give more attention to detransitioners with negative experiences. I only regret that test gave me health problems but otherwise am glad I took it.