This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and show a consistent, long-term engagement with complex themes of detransition, feminism, and bodily autonomy. The narrative around their breast reduction surgery is specific and detailed, which is difficult to fabricate consistently. The language is passionate and opinionated, which aligns with the expected demeanor of a genuine detransitioner or desister.
About me
I started by getting a breast reduction in my early twenties, but the surgeon made them a "perfect" female size that was still too big for me. I later realized my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with the restrictive roles and expectations forced on women. For a while, I thought I was a man to escape that box, but that was a mistake. I now see that my body is just my body, and I'm planning a second surgery to finally make it feel like my own. I've learned to reject the performance of gender and am finding peace living as myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been a long process of untangling what I actually feel from what society expects me to feel. I’ve come to see that gender itself is made up; it’s our interpretation of living with the reality of assigned gender roles. For me, a lot of my discomfort started with my body, specifically my breasts. I always found bras insufferable, and more than ten years ago, I got a breast reduction. I was young and inexperienced when I told the surgeon what I wanted. On the day of the surgery, while he was marking my chest, he said he would make them the "perfect size for my body." I didn't say anything, but from a male perspective, his idea of perfect was still way too big for me. I still need to wear a bra because they get in the way. I realize now how wrong that was, and if it happened today, I would have considered legal action. I'm actually planning another reduction with a surgeon known in the trans community because they specialize in making very small, A or B cups, which most surgeons can't seem to do in a way that looks right.
I dislike my breasts because they feel like they get in the way of my athletic body and the things I want to do with it. They don't align with how I see myself physically. And knowing that breasts can keep growing with age makes me think it will only get more uncomfortable. This all omits a long period where I wanted them removed completely because I believed that my rejection of female roles meant I was a guy. I now see that my rejection was about the roles themselves—the expectation to be weak and caring. "Fuck that, that's not for me." But big boobs aren't for me either, so for now, I just coexist with them.
A big part of my struggle was realizing how violent it is to be a woman in this world. We live with the knowledge of things like marital and maternity slavery, FGM, and the fight for basic rights like accessible abortion. It’s completely normal to be afraid of being an adult female with these realities. It’s not an aversion to being an adult; being an adult should mean more control over your life and body, not less. The problem is the expectations.
I don't feel gender. I don't follow the norms assigned to males or females. I'm a sexed being living in a place where I can choose my clothes based on comfort and taste, and I feel very lucky for that. So why should we continue to perform gender when we have this freedom? I think a lot of the discomfort people have with their assigned gender is actually a discomfort with the rigid roles attached to it. I often wonder, when men say they dislike being men, is it the pressure to be successful, the pressure to center life around sex, the "alpha beta" nonsense, or how other men treat them?
I went through a time thinking I was a guy, but I see now that was a mistake. It was a way to escape the box I was put in. I’ve learned that in life, if we're lucky, we get to make many mistakes—that’s how we learn. Looking back, I don’t regret exploring my identity, but I do regret the breast reduction surgery I got because it wasn't done the way I truly needed. I have regrets about that specific medical decision. I’m thankful I never pursued anything further, like bottom surgery, because I’ve learned a lot about the serious risks, like how vulvar surgeries can lead to a loss of feeling and sexual function.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. We have to accept reality and find a way to live peacefully in our own bodies, outside of the roles society forces on us.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Underwent a breast reduction surgery that left my breasts larger than I wanted. The surgeon made them what he considered a "perfect" female size. |
| (Over the next 10+ years) | Lived with ongoing discomfort from my breast size, realizing the surgery did not solve the problem. |
| 30s (Now) | Planning a second breast reduction with a specialist surgeon to achieve a much smaller cup size (A or B). |
Top Comments by /u/saltyunderboob:
In a world where misogyny rules everything, misandry is somehow seen as a glitch and not a result. This very post is riddled with misogynistic assumptions about radical feminism but it’s so normalized we accept it. Why would you read actual feminist theory when you can just make up whatever you want about feminism unchallenged?
I don’t feel gender. I don’t follow gender norms, nor the ones assigned to males or females. I’m a sexed being living in a country where I can choose my clothes based on confort and taste so i feel very lucky. Why should we continue to perform genders with this freedom?
There is a lot of misinformation about vulvar surgeries, I recommend checking out Jessica Ann Pin, she is doing a lot of work to try to get the proper anatomy of the clitoris to be included on medicine books. It’s common for women that undergo vulvar surgery to lose some or all feeling on the clitoris and experience loss of sexual function.
This is a grief and loss you will have to accept and mourn in a healthy way to hopefully move forward. It’s normal and necessary to feel this pain, it’s part of our human condition. Maybe one day in the future you will feel very differently about this period of your life and it’s ok that you’re not there yet. Be kind to yourself, in life if we are lucky we get to make many mistakes, that’s how we learn. You are already more than half way through this, you already did the hardest part. Best of luck!
“There is no spoon. Rather accept the reality. It is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself” this is how I feel about transition and detransition after all this time. This subreddit is of immense help because gender is made up and our interpretation of this living with the reality of the status quo of assigned gender roles varies and reading about yours broadens my views.
I really don’t have an issue being an adult and doing adult things but I have an issue with being expected to look and act a specific way. I think they are taking about the freedom from those expectations we have at childhood and not am aversion to being an adult. If anything being an adult should mean more control over your life and body not less. We underestimate how violent it is to be a woman and know all the repercussions of that reality around the world. We know of girls and women being subjected to marital and maternity slavery, fgm, as examples, we live with this knowledge and it’s not supposed to affect us and how we see our selves and what value we feel we have in society. I think it’s very normal to be afraid of being an adult female in this world with this circumstances. In how many countries is abortion legal and accessible?
I find bras insufferable and had a breast reduction for that reason. I explained to my surgeon exactly what I wanted and why. The day of the surgery while he was making the markings on my chest he said that he would make them the perfect size for my body, I didn’t react, I was young and inexperienced. The perfect size for my body from a male perspective is still huge for me and I need to wear a bra if not they get in the way. This was more than 10 years ago and I think I realized how wrong it all was too late to do anything about it. Nowadays I would have seemed legal action. I am planning on getting another reduction with a very well known dr in the trans community it’s one of the only surgeons that does a or b cups, most surgeons can’t make them so small and still aesthetically pleasing. Other than hating bras I also dislike my boobs in general because I feel they get in the way and don’t align with my athletic body and what I wish do with it. Another thing is that boobs keep growing with age and I definitely think it can only get more uncomfortable to have big ones. This all is omitting the long period of time when I wanted them removed completely because I believed that my rejection of female roles meant I was a guy. I reject female roles because we are expected to be weak and caring and fuck that, not for me. Big boobs are also not for me but I coexist with them for now.
If you look at it another way, the one that needs to do something about her family is her, she is still going to be a lesbian with or without you; you on the other hand need to sacrifice being yourself only to be with her, there’s plenty of out lesbians.
What is it that you dislike about being and living as a man? Is it the pressure to be successful, and the extreme pressure to center life around having a lot of sex? Is it the alpha beta bullshit? Is it about how other men interact with you and treat you?