I started identifying as trans back in 2003. The trans community has gone absolutely insane since then.

The idea that we'd be suggesting surgery to minors and there are droves of "egg-spotters" out there actively seeking to convert people to being trans? It would be absolutely appalling to the vast majority of the trans community circa the 00s.
Back then it was understood that being trans is fucking hard and transitioning is not something you should do if there's any possible way you could manage to cope in any other fashion.
Back then we understood that binding is painful and causes irreversible changes to your tissue, HRT is still largely experimental, and pretty much all bottom surgery has mixed results and a high likelihood of complications and loss of functionality.

Now you're a transphobe if you so much as ask "are you sure you want to do this?"
Since when has it become "conversion therapy" just to ask??

Hey, fellow masculine female here. I don't know if you're intersex or not, but part of natural human variation means that some females are going to be more on the masculine side.

Personally, even though I never medically transitioned, I had my hormones checked by an endo at one point and she found that my T levels were at the very top of the natural female range.

Part of what made trans so seductive to me was that I made such a "good" boy. It's a very intoxicating feeling when you see so many fellow trans guys struggling to reconcile their short stature, their small hands, their curves, and you just slip into the male role effortlessly. It makes you feel like you're "meant to be trans" and it would be a "waste" not to transition because you'd look so "good" as a guy. You also get a lot of praise and attention from other trans people for being so tall and butch. Compare that to being treated like a weird, awkward gangly woman, who's supposed to hate her masculine features? Who's *expected* to hate her masculine features?
It's not hard to figure out why transition is appealing.

That being said, if all the tall masculine women transition, it doesn't really fix anything. I feel like the natural progression of a society is that at some point, once we're out of the stone age, we have to culturally process what it means to be a species where sometimes women are naturally masculine. Sometimes men are naturally feminine. Sometimes people are born intersex, or with other congenital anomalies. Are these people "bad?" Is there one standard of physical perfection we should all be held to? Who decides what that standard is? Or, is physical variation a *good* thing that contributes to the strength and beauty of our species? Are masculine women "really men?" Are feminine men "really women?" If all the masculine women on earth suddenly transitioned right now, maybe *that generation* of masculine women would feel more comfortable. But new masculine women would still continue to be born. So has that really accomplished anything? Or have we just kicked the can down the road to the next generation?

Anyway, best of luck to you as you contemplate your place in the world.

You could always just say "stating pronouns makes me really dysphoric" and leave it at that. If they ask "are you transgender" or anything like that, well first of all, they're already breaking LGBT code by asking you to out yourself. But on the off-chance they do ask, just respond "I'm not comfortable discussing that."
If they continue to press for details you can literally report them to HR. They can't interrogate their employees about their gender identities, and force them into trans-related activities that trigger their dysphoria. They have to follow their own damn rules on this stuff.

We really need spaces where female people like you can come and be embraced by lesbian community (if/when you want to be.)

From what I understand, MichFest used to be that space. It didn't matter if you had a very low voice, baldness, etc. If you were female, you were embraced as a fellow woman and everyone was understanding of your life and the choices you made to survive in the world. They understood that masculinity or femininity is not what makes someone a woman. It's being female that makes you a woman.

But thanks to transwomen, MichFest is gone now. They took the one space that was welcoming and supportive of female detransitioners.

I mean he also convinced a lot of young people (like myself) that being a transman was cool and sexy and "queer" and that "it's ok if you don't want bottom surgery, just go on T it's totally cool to be a man with a pussy."

Not saying I hate him or anything, but he directly contributed to my choice to transition. He also makes porn look normal and healthy and it's really not. Especially dysphoric women should be staying far far away from porn, it presents really stereotypical and toxic views of gender roles and sexuality and it made my dysphoria a million times worse.

Again no hate to you, just presenting another view.

Unfortunately trans issues are a topic du jour for liberal people right now. It's become extremely polarized and basically if you want to be seen as a "good person" you have to treat trans people like the new gay people ("only EVEN MORE oppressed!!")

Your only option is to scroll past those posts, stay out of those conversations, click "not interested" when it comes up on youtube. The Almighty Algorithm will adjust, somewhat.

On top of that, just stay solid in who you are. By that I mean, pursue your hobbies and passions that have nothing to do with trans stuff. Take walks, make friends who don't know/care about trans issues, and have real lives that don't revolve around masturbatory gender theory.

I just want to say that as a desister, I really relate to that feeling of "I need to detox by brain and my life from this gender stuff." It has a way of taking over your life and mind, and it's at the point now where trans topics themselves make me extremely dysphoric. I just want to be a person living my life, I don't want to be forced to think about my theoretical gender identity anymore. I don't want to be constantly deciding on pronouns and worrying about whether my haircut accurately reflects my unique position on the gender presentation scale.

I think it's fine. When my sister announced her engagement to her partner, my dad asked her "do you feel like you're getting married for the right reasons?"
And when I announced my engagement, he asked me the same question.

It's healthy to ask your family and close friends about their choices, if you do it appropriately.

they're just making everyone more dysphoric. "are you sure you wouldn't like to change??? are you sure sure?? we can sell you some packers and some drugs..."

it's the same as the cosmetics industry at this point. "don't you feel bad about yourself? buy our makeup and razers."

I have a chronic pain condition called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. The second I first tried binding, I immediately realized "oh this is a really, really bad idea for me." My lungs, spine and shoulder are extremely sensitive and I already deal with a lot of issues there, so I could instantly tell binding would have been extremely damaging to my body.

It makes me wonder, how many people are out there doing this *daily,* with a level of pain and damage just beneath their tolerance threshold?
Without my chronic pain condition, would I be thinking "this feels maybe kind of unhealthy but not enough to make me stop?" How many months would it take before my body started showing the damage? How many years? What long would I spend pressing through the pain and discomfort, in my dysphoric state? What permanent effect would that have on my body?

I don't think people under 18 should be allowed/encouraged to bind, I think it's really sick the way we promote it to children. It's also pretty fucked the way these days it's being promoted to vulnerable, dysphoric people as "go ahead and try binding! It's fun and empowering! No risks at all! See if transition is right for you in a harmless, reversible way! If you don't like it, just stop!"
Binding is a form of body modification. It should be respected as such.

Personally, if I fell for a detrans woman and she told me one day "I want you to know I had a metoidioplasty and vaginectomy," I wouldn't be put off. Of course if it was something she regretted and/or if she had subsequent health problems, I would feel sad for her. But I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with her body.

A phalloplasty would be harder to deal with. Not trying to make anyone feel bad about their bodies, just being real. If I was dating a detrans woman and she told me "I had a phalloplasty," it would be really tough to feel comfortable getting physical with her unless she at least had the phallus removed. If she had a loss of sexual function due to the clitoral nerves being altered, that would also be really rough. That part wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but of course any sexual dysfunction puts a lot of stress on a relationship (unless she would be happy only "giving" and never "receiving," but I wouldn't expect that of anyone.)

All that being said, a woman is always a woman, no matter what. Even if she took T, even if she has a beard. A female is a female, I would never stop accepting another woman for changing herself.