This story is from the comments by /u/sara7147 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the extensive comment history provided, the account "sara7147" shows no serious red flags of being inauthentic, a bot, or someone falsely posing as a parent of a desister/detransitioner.
The comments are highly detailed, emotionally consistent, and tell a coherent, multi-faceted story over several months. The user's perspective evolves from a self-described liberal who "blindly accepted" transgender ideology to a deeply concerned parent who sees it as a harmful mental disorder, a journey that is logically explained through personal research and the experience with their child. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with a genuine parent grappling with a perceived threat to their child's well-being.
There is no indication of scripted or automated posting. The narrative is specific, personal, and reflects the complexities and contradictions of a real-life, highly stressful situation. Therefore, the account appears authentic.
About me
I watched my happy, athletic daughter suddenly declare she was a boy after being immersed in trans content online, which felt like a social trend, not something coming from within her. I believe she was struggling with the normal awkwardness of puberty and social rejection, and she latched onto this as a solution. I refused medical interventions and instead found a therapist who focused on her underlying mental health without pushing any labels. We focused on family time and real self-acceptance, and it was a slow, difficult journey with many ups and downs. Now, I believe my role was to love her through her pain and protect her from making irreversible decisions based on a temporary feeling.
My detransition story
My journey with my daughter's experience has been one of the most difficult things I've ever faced. It started when she was 14, just after she began 8th grade. She had always been a happy, confident kid, a star athlete on her soccer team, and a leader among her peers. But after a period of intense immersion in trans-related content online, she suddenly came to me and said she wanted to quit soccer, grow a beard, and get a mastectomy. She was using terms like "dysphoria" that she had clearly learned from YouTube videos.
This was a complete shock. This was the same girl who, just weeks before, had been sleeping in her bra, walking around the house in just a bra and shorts, and running in public in a sports bra. She was super body-confident. The change was sudden and drastic. I believe a few key things led to this. In 7th grade, she started working out with the boys' football team. The boys would call her a "dude with boobs" and there was a lot of toxic masculinity in that weight room. I think that experience, combined with seeing her more feminine friends get a different kind of attention from boys, made her feel like she didn't fit in. She was also approached by some girls at the mall who thought she was a cute boy, and then rejected her when they realized she was a girl. That rejection seemed to really hurt her.
Around the same time, she fell deep into watching trans YouTubers. Her new friend group, which included several girls who identified as gay or bi, also encouraged this and even wanted to pick out a new male name for her. It felt like a social trend, not something coming from a deep, internal place. She hadn't done any real research; she didn't even know that an Adam's apple was a result of testosterone. She was just mimicking what she saw online.
I was terrified. As a liberal person, I had always supported LGBT rights without thinking too deeply about it. But when it touched my own child, I started to research. I was stunned to learn what "being trans" really involved: a life of synthetic hormones, surgeries, and what looked like intense self-loathing and obsessive thoughts. To me, it seemed like a mental disorder, similar to anorexia or OCD, where the feelings are real but the solution isn't to mutilate a healthy body. I saw it as a coping mechanism for deeper issues like internalized homophobia, discomfort with puberty, and social pressure.
I refused to let her start hormones or have any surgeries. I took away her phone and severely restricted her internet access because that's where the grooming was happening. I spent months calling therapists, but I was afraid of "gender therapists" because their standard practice seemed to be 100% affirmation without any exploration. I finally found a non-affirming therapist who focused on self-reflection and DBT therapy. We decided to pay out of pocket instead of using insurance so there wouldn't be pressure for a quick diagnosis. The goal was to work on her underlying mental health without any labels.
We focused on family time—board games, bike rides, talking a lot. I shared stories from detransition forums with her so she could hear the other side. It was a slow process. There were times she seemed to be improving, starting to shave her legs again or wear earrings, but then she'd swing back to talking about wanting a shaved head and a truck. It was a rollercoaster. I saw her struggling with her identity, trying to disassociate from everything feminine.
My thoughts on gender are that it's become way too complicated. I think you can be a woman and be a tomboy. I haven't worn a dress in 30 years, and that doesn't make me less of a woman. The trans ideology and the religious right both seem to push rigid stereotypes: if you're a girl who doesn't like dresses, you must be a boy. It's insane. People are just people, with a mix of masculine and feminine traits. The constant labeling is exhausting.
I don't regret protecting my daughter from making irreversible decisions as a child. I believe her feelings of discomfort were real, a normal part of the awkwardness of puberty, but her proposed solution was dangerous. I regret that society and online influences made her feel that her normal feelings were a disorder that needed fixing with hormones and surgery. My goal was always to love her, acknowledge her pain, but guide her toward reality and self-acceptance.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 (7th Grade) | Worked out with boys' football team; experienced toxic masculinity and rejection based on her gender. |
| 14 (Start of 8th Grade) | After intense online immersion, suddenly declared she was trans and wanted to medically transition. |
| 14 | We removed her phone/internet access and began seeking non-affirming therapy. |
| 14-15 | Participated in family-focused activities and DBT therapy, with periods of moving away from and back towards trans identity. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/sara7147:
I’m struggling to explain this to my middle schooler.
How do you explain importance of dating and sexual relationships and being a sexual person within a relationship and the importance of orgasms... to a kid who has only had one kiss in her life.
As we discuss all the real life consequences of transitioning... this one is hard. She just can’t see herself in a relationship and having actual physical sex multiple times per week.
She is a kid trying to figure out if she wants to take Spanish or German and be on the high school soccer team next year..., AND also whether or not she will be sexually satisfied as a transitioned 30 year old.
Does anyone else see how fucked up that is??? 😡
I know you feel sad now... but you are lucky.
You got out.
Only cults behave that way. Cults Allow for no differing opinions, feelings, or dissent.
Trans ideology is special in that it is a delusion and must have 100% compliance or the delusion falls apart. Critical thinking is not a trans quality. Follow the herd blindly and quietly like sheep... and you will be accepted.
So even though you are just speaking for you and your experience... it creates cracks in the delusion.
That is why they want to get rid of the detrans sub and gender critical sub and any other “cracks” in the delusion.
So it’s not you. It’s them.
You are lucky to get out. You will make other friends... even in California.
Maybe the real question is who or what ideology told you you couldn’t look like that and be female??
When I was a teen in the 80/90s, tons and tons of girls looked like you. It was NORMAL.
Femininity was whatever you wanted it to be. Some females were super feminine and some were not. I was tomboyish and it was called “the natural look” and perfectly acceptable. I had zero trouble attracting men with my tomboy style. My male husband still loves it.
But then this ideology came out of nowhere and changed the narrative and language for young females... by implying that females needed to look like kim k.... or they aren’t really female.
WTF??? It’s insanity!!!
You are beautiful exactly as you are, in your own skin and body... no changes needed!!
I’m sorry for your struggles. Your voice and your story are important. We need more truth injected into this business (and trans’ing people has become a business... a factory assembly line almost).
The truth matters. Thank you for sharing. Your story will will help others.
For 30 years I have been a democrat voting lgb AND T supporting liberal. A blind follower of the liberal agenda.
Until I started to educate myself.
I realized within ONE HOUR on pro trans boards that it was a shitshow of cult like behavior. They do not allow for any differing opinions. It’s creepy as fuck.
People always think truth is an external thing... but it’s not.
The most powerful truths lie within ourselves.
Some here think I’m rude or have no right to speak because it’s my kid and not me... but most of these lessons are not just trans lessons... they are LIFE lessons. And those come with maturity... which is why kids and even adults under 30 have no business trying to transexuslize themselves.
You don’t have to trans yourself to learn the lesson. Maturity and time will teach it to you.
I have said before that living a lie is hard on the subconscious. A life lesson that you seemed to have figured out.
Thank you for sharing.
Of course, I understand that. She is and has always been “gender non conforming” (short hair, plays sports, likes looser fitting clothes etc) and that’s why all of her friends and online trans predators were calling her “trans” to begin with.
But prior to this big push for her to “be trans”... she loved shaving her legs, bath bombs, pretty smelling lotions etc
She has always been a happy mix of feminine and masculine. I am the exact same way. 99.999999% of ALL people are a happy mix.
It’s only the trans ideologues and maybe the ultra conservative right who push for strict adherence to regressive stereotypes.
But after she declared this fake identity... she started to disassociate. She started pushing away female friends, feminine interests and likes such as female centered movies and feminine smelling soaps/lotions etc. She began to dissociate from her female body... which IS a mental illness and incredibly dangerous.
So the fact that she is doing these small things that she used to love and that bring her back to the place of a happy mix is a GOOD THING!
I have no issue with female body hair... IF.... your mind is right. Women can absolutely have body hair. But having body hair does not, can not, will not ever make you male.
It’s all about where your mind and mental health stand. For my kid.... the body hair was tied to poor mental health and self hatred and pursuing a fake identity called “trans”.
Yes, it is real and it is happening to my family.
Trans ideology preys on the vulnerabilities and insecurities that come with normal teenage development and puberty. Anyone outside of the norm can easily get brainwashed by the seductive marketing of trans ideology of “be who you really are”. Except when you look a little closer... it is the EXACT OPPOSITE of that.
Trans people and the ideology grooms kids much in the same way a pedophile grooms kids with internet visuals.
Then once they’ve lured them in, they function like a cult telling them their parents don’t really love them if they won’t give hormones and won’t jump on the bandwagon of crazy where everyone pretends she is now suddenly a he.
I can’t imagine living a life where every single person you currently know, have ever met in the past, and will meet in your future... has to freaking PRETEND you are the opposite sex. 🙄
It’s like being stuck in a never ending game of “playing house” or another silly game with small children... where they are mom/dad and you are the child.. everyone is pretending, all the time. .
That is not an authentic life. It must be exhausting for the person and everyone who knows them to keep up the charade. it is 100% a mental illness and it’s tragic.
I am hopeful I can pull my 14 year old out of this brainwashing mess. She is in non-affirmative therapy and working thru some stuff.
I hope people can get real mental help and move forward with reality.
Euphoria is real in the sense that it exists... but it isn’t an answer.
It seems there is almost always a “honeymoon period”.... until real life sets in and you realize all the mental health issues and all the same problems are still there.
It makes sense. If you convince yourself that you want something.... need it so badly.... that you will practically kill for it.
Then when you finally get it... OF COURSE you will be euphoric and experience that “honeymoon” period. It could be months. It could be several years.
But it is only the beginning of a long downward spiral. Eventually, the truth will come knocking at your door. And that little voice will eat at you.
Drug addiction, alcoholism and many other unhealthy coping mechanisms have the same euphoric feelings and long downward spirals.
I have said that 99% of people who support trans ideology have no idea what it really is.
LGB (the organization) them T legitimacy... and they ran with it.
Most people, liberals included, are too busy with their own lives and paying bills to do their own homework on each topic. So the blindly follow the liberal agenda without thinking about it.
This is what I did, until trans ideology touched my life. Then I was like , Holy Shit, these people are crazy and delusional. This is 150% a mental illness.
And when I tell my liberal friends about, not only the medicalization of a generation of people , but the politics of it is every bit as insane as right wing extremists.
It drives be crazy that the branding and marketing is “live who you really are”. But the ideology is the EXACT OPPOSITE of that.
It is filled with self loathing and obsessive compulsive thoughts compelling people to hormonally disfigure and mutilate their perfectly healthy bodies to appease a 100% psychological anguish. No other mind/body discrepancy disorder allows for that to happen.
And don’t get me started on what they are doing to CHILDREN! 🤬
Doctors, therapists, surgeons, and big Pharma are laughing going all the way to the bank with this.
Entire industries are being formed, trans Youtubers, voice coaching, body language specialists, and clothing lines etc.
It’s not a dream... it’s a nightmare.